667. - How To Dress Well

All right, this episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Stateside with Kai and Carter, a new podcast from The Guardian. And they are using this podcast to slow down the news and wrestle with the questions that we all have about what's happening in the world. And they do it three times a week, Jason. Does that sound familiar to you? We don't really talk about, you know, a lot of international global news items and climates and cultures and sports and things like that. We do talk about fashion and wellness, but for everything else, Kai and Carter are a great place. All right, so who couldn't use more news? Listen wherever you get your podcast. or watch on youtube how long gone uh thursday afternoon here in new york the heat is let up dj them jeans what's good heat is not letting up over here in glendale i just finished doing my iron neck Workout. Felt good. It was my first necking in some time. Chill. Did you break a sweat necking, or were you indoors? Yeah, I did. Were you indoors or outdoors? I was outdoors. I like to do my pull-ups, and then I break up the pull with a little neck. So I'll do a little neck, a little pull, a little neck, a little pull. That's nice. And eventually, it's done. Sure. So the workout, got it, got it. Like many workouts. Eventually, they're done. They start and they end. You don't always do it to completion, am I right? No, I do. That's not a sex joke. When it comes to exercise, I try to do it to failure, but also to completion if I can. We all try to, honey. We all try to. We don't always get there. Life comes at you fast. With progressive overload, it's easy. Let me tell you, it's easy. I was busy. I've been busy this morning. We got this beautiful... cabinet made by my friend jesse kaufman and he delivered it this morning at 8 a.m which is real grussler hours but i've been so i've been on calls and shit but i was able to is this that low boy cabinet that's gonna run along the uh yes the west wall okay yes exactly yes it's it's it it's beautiful like i i knew it would be but like seeing in a person i was like damn okay this is worth the wait sorry for the wait too a home run home run jesse but i was able to

look at the newspaper, the New York Times newspaper, which I'm sure you're familiar with. Heard about it. Heard about it. The cover of the, I believe, style section is why Donald Glover is saying goodbye to Childish Gambino. So it's about his new album and that he's now just Donald Glover. His silly, stupid pseudonym is being retired as a 40-year-old man with three kids. So I'm proud of him for that. But then as I'm reading the story, his first child is named Legend, which really feels... It feels Diddy-esque, I will say. It feels Diddy-esque. No Diddy. It also feels like you're setting your son up for failure. It just seems like we should call defects on Donald for this one. It just seems bad. Those are some big cactus plant flea markets to fill, is what you're saying. Yeah, exactly. Those are big crocs to slip your feet in. No, absolutely. Absolutely. It just seems like a curse to the child. Do you agree? Does it feel weird? I do. I mean, and that also kind of adds to the dittiness of it. You know what I mean? And it doesn't seem Donald Glover-y to do that. I mean, legend is a... I guess it's just kind of a funny name to have. No offense to the king. It's giving T.I. more than Diddy to me. As far as names go. His brood is large. They all have names like that. He has an album called King, of course. I think he has a son called King. Actually, he named after the album. Yeah, he does. He has a king. He has a love. He has a legend. He has a cabinet member. To me, whenever I think of these names that are... I don't know if unconventional is the right word for it, but not not. It's a cool, strong, powerful name to call your child legend. You know, it instills more confidence than Richard or whatever. But there's something you have to sort of stress test it in the if my kid runs away at Disneyland or they did something at soccer practice and you have to yell this legend in public.

Get off that. Can you just imagine D Glove yelling Legend over at Erewhon because Legend took too many of the spicy tuna samples? D Glove looking not great in these pictures. He's definitely, he's been living good. That's for fucking sure. What do you mean by that? Like he put on some LBs? He just looks a little puffy. Yeah, he just looks a little puffy. He didn't, he didn't. Donald's healthy. He didn't go crazy at Equinox for the New York Times photo shoot. Okay. But, you know, you can't. That's fine. He's rich. He doesn't care. He's been visiting the Earth Bar more than the squat rack, is what you're saying. The portraits are nice. They're well done. But I just, you know, he's wearing a funny hat. It's just a lot. He's wearing a hat from the Tame Impala APC collection? I haven't seen the photos, but I'm just... That might be better than what he's wearing. It's a step up. He's wearing one of those hats that... They look good on some people. I could never... The ones with the little cord that goes in the space between the bill and the body of the hat. You know what I mean? It's kind of like an 80s... Yeah. That's the ringer T of the head. It doesn't work for me. It works for many people. It doesn't work for me. It works very well for a Johnny Knoxville. It's a Knoxville-esque, but it's also turned into like... Knoxvillian. It's turned into kind of like a golf. Like I'm a young Melbourne golf. metal wood golf like yeah i have i have a little bit of a mullet and i i wear a dry fit polo on the weekends kind of guy the thinking man's full send yes yes yes yes there we go exactly but anyway which is sort of like multiplying a number by zero yes yeah exactly full send i got the full send rib tat so i don't have to wear the hat it's kind of easier it's easier that way yeah it's your stars and straps it's always there i went to um last night i took a trip to uh The Harlem neighborhood of New York. For the first time. Okay, sleepy Joe. I went to see. I'm sick. Did you go check on some black jobs? I'm sick. Are there black jobs up here? I think there might be. No, I went there, but I realized I hadn't been to Harlem since, I believe, the year 2002. About a week ago. About a week ago of 2002 to see Morrissey at the Apollo.

in like his first like comeback um and i remember distinctly getting off the train and somebody being like nah bro you need to turn around you're in the wrong place really just like like out of a movie style out of a movie i mean this is a long time ago out of a movie now it's a bunch of fucking you know like gay guys live there now it's a different it's obviously a changed community but it was um so i took a i i didn't want to because it was so hot yesterday i took a car there it took an hour and i was going to dine at marcus samuelson's red rooster for for an event because uh it's he did a collaboration with west elm and uh you know they made furniture all this shit but i have to say the food was smacking okay i have to say in a situation like that where it's like family style and there's 80 people full full like buyout of a restaurant i was very happy with the food that i was served and i wasn't fully expecting that okay well i'm i'm stoked that you're preserving your southern food ways yes as well as diaspora yes what were some of the the animal free offerings that marcus made available for there was a miso uh mushroom dish That was amazing. There was a cornbread. Nothing says Harlem like West Elm and Miso. Well, they had the chicken and all that shit. I just didn't. Okay. There was a salmon that was delicious with a nice kind of like couscous. There was a cornbread that was slapping. There was a cabbage, like a grilled cabbage. But, yeah, I didn't have any of the famous chicken, obviously. Sure. But it seemed. I was just pleasantly. Because usually those dinners are tough. You know, usually the food's fine. Yeah. But also no one eats. So then I feel like a fucking piglet. if i like actually eat because i'm fucking hungry because it's like 9 30 and the dinner's supposed to start at seven you know but anyway it was a good preach honey i was with andy andy barraghani was my seat mate and alex tiwa uh which was it was it was a fun it was a fun time that was a fun group it was a fun time yeah yeah were there any straight people there

uh yeah most it was all straight people it was all straight people it was all straight you were at the only gay table i was at the own yeah i was the the only gay table actually maybe actually no no there's some other gay i met i met a few other stray gays that were up in up in harlem um but then of course it did it did thunderstorm for the point of flooding and it took another hour to get home um so it was an eventful night out on the town for me yeah thunder man yeah that sucks i'm sorry to hear that but I was just talking to Nomi Fry earlier, and she was talking about hitting Vegas for Morrissey upcoming. You remember when I did that solo a few years ago? Great time. I kind of like that Morrissey hopefully is sort of testing the waters or priming his fan base to just do Elvis-style Viva Las Vegas. I'm no longer going to tour anymore. I'm just going to make... the fountain blue go animal free and i'm just gonna do my residency here fountain blue i mean i think it's at caesar's i think it's the same place where the killer's residency is that i have tickets for that i'm not gonna be able to go to so but but it would be cool if if we could just kind of see morrissey i mean more sphere imagine morrissey at the sphere somebody oh baby somebody needs to do that more sphere and then uh i would because i've never seen morrissey And I would rather do, like, a Viva Las Vegas weekend experience versus, yeah, going to go see him, you know, at some dumbass venue. Remember when we went years ago and the tickets were fake? Remember that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Then we stood. We were standing outside the Hollywood Bowl, and he was playing a Smith song. I can't remember which one. He was playing a classic, like Ask or something. And it was torturous. It was truly torturous. Yeah, you should go. Wow, that sounds like a Morrissey lyric. Exactly. It was torturous, truly torturous. Okay. It was fun. But all that is to say I'd rather go to Las Vegas than the Hollywood Bowl. I agree with that. And I live 11 minutes away from the Hollywood Bowl. Wait, were we able to talk on the last episode, did the big news break about online ceramics breaking up? One of the titans of industry separating. And I'm going to call Sam Hine. I need the tea because those motherfuckers must hate each other to give up that bag.

do you think they must hate each other creative differences i mean it just seems like it's still such a cash cow to give that up to walk away is is big but i love that it's it's a24 is on their knees obviously because now they have to find new graphic designers which is going to be tough um and They did do this book where it's like the history of online ceramics and the forward is written by John Mayer as a last gasp. The name of that book is cool. I forgot what it's called. Yeah, it is. It's like something chairs. But I was thinking about this and it's shocking to me somehow that I never, I don't think I've ever owned a piece of online ceramics. Even in my heaviest t-shirt buying days and bootleg buying days. That makes sense to me. I'm not a dead guy, but they did some stuff that was cool at the beginning, for sure. Nothing looked like that. The book is called Tricker's Cabin. I just like the name of that. They're talented. They're nice guys. I've met them a couple times. They're quiet. They let the pen do the talking, and that's cool. It's also one of those things where it doesn't matter how awesome and cool and interesting you are. it's so hard to just make it last forever you know they were ripped off 10 billion times by 10 billion places the cool kids you know you can't be seen with them anymore because it's gone like yeah it's smart it's it's i mean urban outfitter like there's nothing you can't at a certain point it's out of your control it's continuing taking over it's continuing on like one of them is going to continue to do the other one is leaving So it's a call her daddy situation. It's a call her daddy situation, which is which is even more interesting because he wants to expand it into like more of a brand. Like I want to make sneakers. I want to make this, which maybe works, you know, give it gives it new life. Who knows? But I wonder which member of Online Ceramics is the Gawk Gawk 3000 of the two. That's a great question. Well, we can find that out for sure. Let me send some texts. We have a guest today, a friend of the program, a longtime personal friend of both Jason and I.

Turnt Tom, aka How to Dress Well, is joining us today on How Long Gone. A lot has changed since he joined us last time. He put out a critically acclaimed album. He had a child. He started making money. It's big stuff for Tom. It's big stuff for Tom. Let's go over to whichever L.A. suburb he lives in and give him a chit-chat. This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by a new podcast from The Guardian. stateside with kai and carter this is covering a lot of our bases jason it's a it's trying to slow down the news and wrestle with the questions we all have about what's happening in the world and i know you particularly have quite a lot of questions a lot of questions but how often because we do this podcast three times a week and that's a sweet spot how many times do they do three times a week and i i have a feeling just based on the platform and these talking points that they're maybe going to be covering different stuff than we do that's just a guess the guardian is not some billionaire owned They're not afraid to say what they want to say, brother. Yeah, Rupert ain't sniffing around in what journalists Kai Wright and Carter Sherman are up to over there at Stateside. But yeah, listen wherever you get your podcasts. You can watch it on YouTube. It's three times a week. And who couldn't use more news? You know, especially when it's not, you know, from here, let's say. Give it a listen. Give it a listen. This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Squarespace. Obviously, Jason, you and I spend a lot of time on the World Wide Web, so do all our peers, our listeners, our friends, our colleagues, maybe even your parents if they're freaky. And if you're doing anything in the world... writing, taking pictures. I do topless boxing. You need a website. Exactly. A website that works, that does what it's supposed to do, that allows you to be creative but also business-minded. Jason, there's one place to go for that, Squarespace. Yeah, Chris, I'm over here. I'm modifying calculators and putting Claude inside of them so you could cheat at school. And I just want a place where I could have everything all in one place. I can have the SEO tools.

So those future graduates can find me and, you know, I'm able to accept, quote unquote, donations for my services that might be gray area. You know what I mean? And then email campaigns. Hey, I got a new, you know, 2.3 version upgrade. Boom, boom, boom. Get the analytics going. Raise some money. You know, show your investor all of your cool analytics of what's going on. They're going to want to get in early and we can use Blueprint AI to make your website look as professional. as your competition, if not more. Head to squarespace.com slash howlong for a free trial. When you're ready to launch, use offer code howlong to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain. Okay, we're here with How Long Gone fan favorite, Tom Krell, How to Dress Well. We're just talking about how it's awesome that James Blake saved the record in music industry. Chris, what are your thoughts on this? I know that you're a huge advocate of his platform. What's it called again? I just love platforms in general. Does anybody remember what it's called without Googling? No, of course not. It's called Blakester? Yeah, Blake Hub. We've talked about Blake Hub several times on this podcast, but the fact that he has ruined his career by dating that actress that everyone hates. I don't know if she's not 100% of the reason. I was going to say, I don't think she's the Guys, I'm sorry. She's not a causal factor here. She's the biggest factor. Biggest factor. Do you think so? Yeah, I mean, the music's bad, but whatever. She's like one of those people who lies about having Lyme's disease. You know what I mean? She's hated in the celebrity world. I don't know. No comment. This is not what I came on the pod to talk about. Do you guys do video now? No, we just do this so we can see your pretty face and vice versa. So we can have more of a spiritual connection when we're chatting with each other about Jamila Jamila, the NWNBA. Jamila Jamil. Tom, this is a spacious office you have here. This feels like you can really stretch out in there. Yeah, it's not bad. I mean, you know.

I made the full yuppie arc and moved from Silver Lake to Highland Park. And now my office and studio isn't a literal closet. I don't know if you remember in my last apartment, there's literally a closet I could like touch. all four walls without extending my arms okay so you're part of the problem you're in highland park but is at this point is highland park actually better than silver lake you know what i mean like is it what is actually worse is the question but also not not to dox krell but he's in a part of highland park that you would appreciate a lot more chris he's not he's not in kind of he's in a more of a suburban yeah yeah it's kind of residential tucked away residential area. He's flanked. Phoebe Bridgers lives on one side and Lucy Dacus lives on the other. It's really nice. It's super peaceful. We get along. Me and the neighbors are tight, actually. It's cool. Yeah, real tight. He's far away enough from home state to be... Yeah, I'm like, you know, three to four minutes drive from home state. Oh, yeah. As long as you're not... Safe distance, yeah. As long as you're not... One minute radius, you're safe. I know you love tacos, too, so you've got to be careful. That's true. Homestead, the Jamila Jamela of fast casual cuisine, wouldn't you say, Crow? I was thinking about Homestead last night low-key, which is really funny. I was laying in bed. Homestead's pretty good. Do you want some of that queso? First off, brisket quesadilla goes extremely hard. I'm just going to say that. Second off, I was thinking about these LA franchises, and I was thinking about... Because we got a Giada in Highland Park now, too. The Fuji sandwich shop goes extremely hard. I'm not even familiar with that. What's it called? Giada with two G's on the top. G-G-I-T-A. That sounds like a chick Jason used to date. But go ahead. Continue. Yeah. I think it's like a Hollywood West Side thing. You guys are all pronouncing her name wrong. Giada. So it's a gourmet sandwich shop. Yeah. But it's like East Coast sandwiches. So it's not like... It's delicious. It's like a chicken cup. It's not fat salad. Okay, it's like a bodega. No, I've never had it. I've heard about it, but you can get a nice Turk sandwich, a nice Italian combo, maybe a mortadella and burrata. There's probably a Caesar salad wrap. Oh, I'm back. They cover all the bases. Also, I'm not going to lie to you. We had it on the weekend. It was a soft launch. Okay. I had to pop. I had to come.

Tom Krell got the invite to friends and fam at the Gijada Sandwichery? Hardly. Hardly got the invite, but I did get the sandwich. No, we're still working at the King, so go easy on Yelp, okay, guys? We're still kind of flushing it out. My experience in Highland Park is I once years ago went to the restaurant Kitchen Mouse. And I was so disgusted by the experience that I was like, I never want to come back to this neighborhood. Not even like the food was bad. You know what? I had the exact same experience in 2016. That's what I'm saying. That's probably when this was. I went there and I tasted the mushroom and bulgur breakfast sausage. I said, peace out, y'all. Well, that's a little shame on you for ordering the mushroom and boulder breakfast. That's my B. I had to pay for parking for this shit? What the fuck? I know that Carolyn has told me that on a lot of jobs, Kitchen Mouse does catering. And nowadays, their catering program apparently is quite delicious and good. Just to clear the record. I was in bed and I was thinking about Homestead. I was thinking, do you think it could pop? outside of la you think that i think it is i think who's the first location locations outside of la actually i think i think are we talking like austin yeah but i'm talking about like like when did they hit lawrence i don't think they're ever hitting lawrence they could hit maybe chicago or yeah slow down honey slow down blow it down Yeah, I mean, dude, it would slay in Chicago. A lot of restaurants that are good like that, that have five locations, feel to me like they would work almost anywhere, but it must be... I'm looking right now, they have about 10, but they're all in Southern California. Oh, they are? Okay, I was wrong. Yeah, that's what I figured. The furthest is Oceanside, probably. San Diego-ish. But yeah, I could see it doing well in almost every state. I mean, it is literally Texas food, so I feel like... They could work in any state except Texas and Alaska, maybe, I guess. Yeah, and they always have a taco named after one of Chris Black's favorite bands. Oh, yeah. The iron and wine brisket taco. I had the Wilco cheese quesadilla once. I had a green chili. It's called I Am Trying to Break Your Heart quesadilla. It was delicious. It was really, really good. The Leon Bridge. Yeah, Leon's got a taco. Walking taco or whatever. The Warpaint Sliders were so bomb, dude.

Leon Bridge's walking taco? Yeah, the Leon Bridge walking taco. We're talking shit, and Jason and I did a macro bowl at a place in Atlanta, so we can't really talk. I'm really happy you brought that up. That shit looked foul. What the fuck? What do you mean? It was so good. I'm not going to lie. It wasn't a photogenic collab. You guys did the shoes recently. The shoes look beautiful. They look great. Thank you, Tom. They look really nice, actually. I actually recommended... That brand to my father-in-law recently. It's great, especially for that purpose. That's a good price point. Fresh kicks, but then the macro bowl, my God, bro. What's your problem, dude? Are you not into macros? What's your beef? I stay up on my macros, but the bowl looked bad, bro. It looked like some kind of dorm core type beef. We went straight off the plane to eat it, and I was... I figured it would be good because we've eaten there before, and it was good, but I was pleasant. It was great. I would eat that all the time. Yeah. But, you know, Tom, healthy food often isn't photogenic. I know when you're going to Crossroads with Travis Barker and taking pictures of your meatballs, it's different. Yeah, the farm looks beautiful. For some of us. The farm looks beautiful. The vegan farm really photographs well. Yeah, brown rice, kale salad, roasted sweet potatoes, avocado. Some like crispy tofu, some crunchies and turmeric ginger. Sounds fire. It's a slot bowl. And what we put our finger on here is the real culture war of the era, which is that like old school health food is what everybody actually wants to be eating. Like ugly ass, boring ass, old school health food with aminos and shit and like some fermented, lacto-fermented hot sauce that the person made on site. It just doesn't photograph. It's not going to hit the gram. This is something I've thought about a lot. I feel like in order for health food like that to work, it has to sort of look bad so you feel as if you're doing something virtuous for your body. You're suffering in visual and in flavor because it's like a psychosomatic thing where your body believes that nutritious things are going inside of it versus yummy things and it's being tricked. Yeah, definitely.

I mean, you know, you guys are our frontline fighters of that culture. We're putting that ugly-ass bowl on the Instagram. We're once again on the front lines, and I eat ugly bowls. Boy, you got an ugly-ass bowl. I eat ugly bowls all the time. Ugly bowls is kind of my preferred method of sustenance, if I'm keeping it 1K. Yeah, the bowl's ugly enough. He holds the fork like this. I would never hold my fork Nashville style. Don't do that. I would never do that. I would never do that. That's called the Conyers grip. You don't eat your dinner. You get after it. Everybody in the family got one utensil. I've seen this before. I was going to say, Tom. Chris, get your fork. I've caught my dad doing the Conyers grip a few times and had to be like, Dad, come on. Not in front of me. I've moved on. I've moved on, Dad. You can't. Everybody go get your fork. We got four forks in the house. Now you get yours. Don't get mine. This is fun. I haven't done How Long Gone since I did the very first episode you guys ever did, I think. I don't think that was it. I think it was a long time ago. I was the guest on the first episode. It was a long time ago. It was a long time ago. It felt like it. Yeah. You know, funny you bring that up, Krell. I searched How to Dress Well on my Apple podcast and your appearance on How Long Gone. The number one ranked appearance on the roster beating out Song Exploder. So suck my dick, Song Exploder. But it seems like, you know, you do a lot of podcasts where you're doing heady discussions about your work and philosophy and your art. And there's a lot of beautiful stuff. But people also just want to hear the funny. convivial Krell chatting it up with his bros. Yeah, I don't really get to chat with the homies that much. It's more like going on some esoteric spirituality pods to talk about my art practice. My favorite pod, yeah. So your episode, okay, I didn't realize. I thought you had done the Dax Shepard pod, but you haven't done that. You haven't done Marc Maron. No, plug me in, bro. Plug me in. I'm not that big, Chris. I need you. You would do well on Rogan. Let's be honest.

You would crush on Rogan. You would crush. Yeah, I'd slay on Rogan. Yeah. I mean, I could literally, bro, I could change hearts and minds if they got me on that podcast once. I think you should. I think you should try it. I think your team, I think your team, look, the record's doing well. Now is the time. You know, now is the time. I need the how long gone PR push, brother. That's what I need. Yeah, I'll send a letter over to, I'll send a DM. I'll be like, Krell's got a lot of thoughts about the ear. Actually, we need to hear your thoughts on the ear because I've been hearing. I mean, I listened to Joe Budden talk about it today, and I feel even dumber than I felt before, which, you know, I told Jason this, but he was they were saying that they're like, oh. Amber Rose got the bag. They said Amber Rose got $10 million to speak at the RNC. I'm like, that's not, guys, that is not true. She's never going to get $10 million to do anything. I mean, I can't believe, Chris, I can't believe, like, I did a little research as well. Boys, I listened to a couple of recent episodes of the long gone podcast. I looked at Chris Black's... recent column on the gentleman quarterly website yes gentleman's quarterly website gentleman's quarterly.com bro i can't believe how much chat you guys are dedicating to the ear it's crazy i love the ear i love the ear you can't believe how much chat we are the whole world what are you talking about what are you talking about honestly bro i'm not gonna lie to you i can't be i can't be bothered because because why because you're you're you're just levitating above The whole cultural situation is just so brutal. It's so sickening, and it just causes me grief. But Tom, what about the funny part? That's kind of what we're focused on. Obviously, it's bad, but there's so much. Donald Trump's the funniest guy we've ever had. He's as good as it gets. Yeah, I mean, you know, I do wish secretly that he had stayed out of politics because he's so funny. I wonder if that humor... The timing is immaculate, bro. I just wonder if that humor would have ever come through in any other way. Because it's unintentional. You know what I mean? Would it have found an avenue? I think it would have, yeah, because his obsession with celebrity. I mean, it was sort of like a foregone conclusion that he tried to become the leader of the free world, I guess.

The ego was going there no matter what. But yeah, I mean, you know, to me, the funniest Trump meme recently, funny is maybe not the right word, beautiful, beautiful. The AI Chinese thing of him and Biden singing. Are you seeing this? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And you can hear it. You can actually hear it. He has a beautiful singing voice. A surprise to no one, I would say. From one songbird to another, that's high praise. High praise. His love of music. That's also another. Come on. That's good stuff. On the deluxe edition, I think we need a duet with the AI Trump and you. I think that's a good idea. Yeah, yeah. We had Trump on When Is This Hard? We actually had Trump. He came through. One take Trump. He came through. It was a crazy night in the studio. Trump was there. Jake Paul. It was amazing. We're just so stoked we could have got him. That's so good. Yeah, Trump showed up. He was fucking, he didn't get there until 3 a.m. It was a fucking whole thing. We had to stay late. Yeah, he rolled in with like 12 guys, you know, a blunt roller, you know, the whole ordeal. We had to stay super late, super late. Well, I like that you're above it, Tom, and that's good, and I am unfortunately not above anything, and that's kind of part of the problem. Part of the problem, yeah. I mean, I will say my only, like, leave behind, take away, whatever, on the whole Trump ordeal is that I cannot tolerate people being like, oh it's staged like if you look like look at and they let him stand up and they let him do this it's like bro do people not realize how shitty everything is if they tried to stage something like that it would fall like everyone would find out right away yeah yeah like bro there's nobody orchestrating this shit they let the how long gone guys do the fucking fx red carpet like anybody who wants to do anything can just do it there's no mommy and daddy in the sky orchestrating the real truth of shit. Good help is so hard to find that it can't be found. Good leaders are all so hard to find. There's no social experiment that's being run by some geniuses.

you've all met people from Stanford and from Yale and from MIT or whatever. They're just normal ass people who are also on TikTok eight hours a day. Their podcasts suck. So like everybody's brains are broken. And the sadder fact is that we're like all victims of an experiment that no one is running. No one is in charge of it. No one's the leader. Is AI running it? No, AI is the least of my worries. Come with me on this, Tom, because I hate AI and I think it's fake. Jason loves AI and thinks it's the future. I don't love AI. I've never even used AI. I've never used chat GPT. I don't even know how to. You're an AI apologist. I use it all the time, bro. Especially recently, I use it a lot. The devil's work. But just to be fair, people are saying that we did slay the red carpet for FX is the bear. So I just wanted to be clear about that. But yeah, I've never used ChatGPT. I've never used it either. Except when you were on the ChatGPT-sponsored red carpet for FX's The Bear Season 6. Presented by ChatGPT. Look, powered by OpenAI. It was a fun thing I did at South By last year. Big shouts to OpenAI for sponsoring How Long Gone. For presenting How Long Gone. This episode is barred to you by... How Long Gone at CES or something? I would kill to do CES. Oh, my God. Have you been to CES before, Tom? No, bro. What? For, like, the Google Assistant? I went once because the band I managed played the Sony. Like, they played, like, a PS5 launch. Yeah, so there is some, like, music cultural stuff happening there. I could have seen How to Dress Well. DJ set at the HP Jet Sweat 3000. I've DJed it before. You've just seen me in these corporate contexts and it doesn't go well. You remember when I did the Sweet Green launch? Isn't there a legendary Sweet Green set where you played hard techno at 2 in the afternoon for families? I just played the 180 BPM trance song Bulldozer four times in a row until one of the guys came over and was like, hey, like...

would you be cool with the next DJ going on a little earlier so you guys can just hang? I was like, yeah, that's probably right. And also, I'm sure Nate, one of the founders of Sweetgreen, is listening to this right now, so you can say hi to him, Tom. I'm sure we'll all have a laugh. No, I appreciated the check, and I'm sorry that I fucked it up. I fucked up the vibe. Did you do that vibe fucking on purpose, or did you think this was the ticket? honestly thought was it a political statement no no no yeah i thought like literally i mean jeans was there me and him and another buddy of ours were like at the dj booth hanging and then the entire party was on the other side of the plaza um the music was quiet i didn't like pump this through like aggro i just thought like okay it was honestly the song i wanted to listen to so i played it I see. He was DJing with his heart. Damn, I hate when they DJ with their heart. That is not what I want. Low-key, also, I'm just not cut out for that shit. I kind of feel like... It's the dog barking. Hey, broski. Come here, little man. That's 18 pounds of raw barking power right there. Come here, shrimp. Is shrimp 18 pounds? Yeah, actually, he's getting a little beefy. He's probably up to 20 now because I gave him too many greenies. Greenies? Oh, we need to talk off pod. All right, this episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Quince. Jason, the temps are warming up. It's getting hot out there. Summer always changes how I get dressed. I need pieces that feel lighter, more breathable. And they're just easy, but still put together. I don't want to look like a slob. That's why I keep coming back to Quince. They focus on high-quality essentials that feel and look amazing. Breathable linen and soft organic cottons. Well-made basics, but without the luxury markups. That rare balance where everything feels elevated. but still effortless. Yeah, Chris, linen season is here. I wore a linen blazer to dinner a few nights ago in the warm California sun. But, you know, you got that Italy trip coming up this summer and quality European linen pants and shirts.

Upgrade that look starting at just $34. You know, if you get a nice linen suit, a little t-shirt underneath it, some chill shoes, you're looking good, but you're staying cool. The inside of your special areas are nice and dry as you turn up with your besties. So elevate that summer wardrobe. Go to quince.com slash how long for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns, even on a nice holiday now available in Canada. That is Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash how long. That'll get you free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince punto com slash how long. Oh, this is huge for me personally. This episode of How I'm Gone is brought to you by TaskRabbit. Oh, baby, let me tell you something. This is this is not a joke. I use TaskRabbit a lot because I can't do anything. You need some art hung? TaskRabbit. You need something put together? A cabinet? Got to reach that cheese grater on the top shelf? TaskRabbit. Anything you need, TaskRabbit can take care of it for you. How it works, TaskRabbit connects you with skilled taskers in your area. They can help you move. They can assemble furniture, repairs, yard work, mounting, and more. You can search for a Tasker based on cost, skill set, availability, and past client reviews so you know exactly who's showing up and can have confidence that they know what they're doing because Taskers have assembled over 3.4 million pieces of furniture, completed 700,000 home repairs, handled 1.5 million moves, and the numbers are just going up, Jason. Yeah, throw a little money at the problem. It's not so expensive, and that job that you really don't want to do is something that another person out in the world. is very good at doing and would gladly do it in exchange for a little bit of money. So when life happens, your to-do list grows. Get ahead of it now and get $15 off your first task at TaskRabbit.com or grab the TaskRabbit app using promo code.

How long taskers book up faster, especially for same day tasks. So book trusted home help today. That is $15 off your first task using promo code. How long with the TaskRabbit app or at TaskRabbit.com. Yeah, so I was going to say in that corporate context, I feel like how to dress well. I just feel like they book. Me, for one thing, because they saw a website say they liked me, and then they saw the next thing on that website was Leon Bridge, and they were like, oh, cool, he's with us. I can get him for cheaper. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then you show up, and it's not the case. Yeah, and I'm like me, and they're like, oh, I kind of feel like they look at me, and they're in their suits, and I put on a suit, but it doesn't fit, and I'm kind of scratching, and I'm just not the guy for the job. Ultimately, that's why... I wasn't able to cash in on the co-branded capital streams like the boys. The problem is, Tom, is that you absolutely could have done that and you didn't want to. Let's keep it 1K. You could have done it. Yeah, we'll keep it 1K. The problem is that I just don't have... Especially a few years ago when I could have cashed in heavy on this, I was just a little bit more aggressive and had very low... tolerance for yeah yeah yeah especially for shit where it's like i mean this was not the sweet green vibe at all but i did other shit where it's like some like rich person who was my age would have me do a party at their house for the launch of their product which like literally never would come out and they would just be so condescending to me and i'd be like bro you couldn't it's a no it's a no for me yeah i'm just too i don't i don't take uh kindly i don't suffer fools That's not true. You hang out with us. Which you don't either, Chris. That's the crazy thing is you've turned that into a lucrative ethos. No, I mean, I suffer fools constantly. Are you kidding? That's all. It's like what I do. That's my job. No, no. I mean, I understand what you're saying, but I also feel like, to me, there's a part of work that's just like, if you want to operate in society, you kind of have to be...

affable and like get along and most people that i encounter in any work situation are fine it's very rare it's very rare that someone's like truly intolerable and awful for sure and i think when i think it's weirder when you're an artist bro for sure i think artists because you're like an interloper like you going into a corporate context like you kind of understand the way of that land but especially you know when i was kind of had my most um public facing popping-ness I just didn't understand. I just didn't get that I had to be nice. I had to do a sit-down dinner to apologize to some executive at Red Bull once because they had given me a bunch of money for a European tour and an LA show. And when we did the LA show, they wouldn't turn off the Red Bull sign. They had flown in this artist from San Francisco who was projecting on old reel-to-reel projectors. They wouldn't turn off the Red Bull sign, and it was making the images unviewable. And so from the stage, I was like, this fucking sucks. Like, what are they doing? Did they not realize that they just paid me X amount to do this? He was like, you never saved the dollar amount on stage. I was like, oh. We've said the dollar amount on stage. Okay, I didn't know that. We said the dollar amount on stage once because it was funny, and I still stand by that it was funny. but we probably shouldn't have done it. But it wasn't recorded, so it's fine. Yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? I mean, that's how I felt too. And I was also happy to apologize to this person because he bought me a really nice lunch and then gave me, you know, like X amount of money for tour support in Europe. And I had Red Bulls at the crib for like three years, straight up. Delicious Red Bulls. You know, unending supply of bulls. Does tour support still happen in that way? Now, no. No, no, no. Bro, it's, I mean, I don't know. I'm not booking tours now, but now it just seems. Are you going to play shows at all? I feel like Liquid Death might pitch in a little bit. Yeah, Liquid Death. Not for how to dress well, but they pitch in for taking back Sunday reunion. They'll throw a bag in the chat pile. Drive by truckers.

Drive-by truckers don't need it. Drive-by truckers have the Chris Black stamp, so they're good, bro. Exactly. Any band that I like doesn't need money from corporations because they're so good. It doesn't matter. They survive in a different way. They're just that good. They're just that good. I'm going to do some stuff in 2025, but not shows in any strict sense. You'll never see an email blast that goes out that has me doing... 20 shows in 30 days or something like that ever again so you're doing harry styles mode you're doing 10 nights at the forum we're doing 10 nights at the forum i call that uh fred again mode but sure harry styles okay we don't talk about we don't talk about fred again on this podcast anymore we've there's a there's a ban on fred again oh cool i'm not um i'm not particularly familiar with his work so should i should i also that makes two of us tom join the resistance he makes uh blistering break core Yeah, I mean, I've seen him tap-tapping on his... Tap, tap, tapping on. Tap-a-roo. So is the show going to be an immersive experience? Yeah, yeah. The show is going to be like... It's going to be a concert in a conventional sense. It's not going to be like... I've done other shit where it's like... 12 channel video. Oh, we know. We know. Yeah, you know. In a cave somewhere in Guatemala. Yeah. I can't follow it, but I know some people can. Yeah, yeah. Some people, I mean, that's just what they like, Chris. No, it's going to be live performances, but like co-commissioned by art spaces. The goal is to do something that's like really interesting, but still just a conventional concert. So like. The way it's being built right now, a little spoiler here for the heads if you're 100%. Let's go. I want to mute for like a few minutes. How long gone exclusive? Yeah. We're going to start with unplugged guitar, acoustic guitar, and unamplified voice. And you'll have the sense that that's what the performance is. We're going church mode. Yeah. And then I will take up a microphone that has like a really.

It has, like, some vocal effects on it, distortion and reverb and stuff, classic how to dress well stuff. But it's really quiet. So suddenly there's an amplified element, but it's not competing with the unplugged elements. And then at the top of the second song, the PA comes in with full roaring subs. And so we're going to, like, play with that dynamic of, like, playing the PA. Some songs will be, like, full electronic, full volume, pumping, rocking. And, um, then the contrast will be really stark with unamplified acapella vocal or who's, who's on stage with the God, um, TBD right now. Cause what I want to do, I'm, you know, my buddy Trey, actually a big shout out to Trey, my producer, one of my very good friends. He's always the guy who's like, Oh, jeans shouted you out on how long gone today at 40 minutes and 34 seconds. And I like click on it. And jeans is like, jeans is like Tom crowd plays pickup basketball. So big shout-outs to Trey for always clocking me on the pod. Good Gene's impression. No shout-outs to Krell for not listening to the podcast. Continue your little story. I don't have time to listen to podcasts, sadly. Every time I listen to your pod, I laugh, I chuckle, and I think, God, those boys are so talented. And you think, wow, I wish I had more time to listen to these guys. Well, I like the idea of this live setup. It kind of reminds me of certain albums where the first song starts off. It used to be like kind of 90s, 2000s, maybe like that Pete Yorn record or Queens of the Stone Age where it sounds like the old radio like circling through like staticky stations. Yeah. And then you hear like the opening riff. Yeah. And it's like very like it's EQ to shit. You can just hear like the center. It's really low. And then it kicks in and you're like.

What I really want to do is like play with volume dynamics across like unplugged elements and amplified elements. Because when I said I'm going to work with Trey as the music director, I'm also interested in having like... four or five acoustic guitar players all playing the same thing hard oh that's cool i like that feels loud you know what i mean it can feel really loud especially in a smaller like a black box but you're saying that would happen but it's still on it's still unamplified and then you're like wait is there amplified sub now and it's like yeah it's like electronic sub coming through the speakers but it's not even as loud as the I like this. We're going to keep building out this way. You're going to play the PA like a fiddle is what's happening. Yeah, I'm going to play the PA like a fiddle. Now I'm back. I'm back. He's going to play like a goddamn pedal steel. You know, Tom, it's funny. You're not going to like this. It's not the same musically as far as the sound stuff. Waxahachie? Are we talking Waxahachie? No, the Feist tour opened with her in the middle of the... floor on a podium playing acoustic and she and you think you think that's the show and it's like five songs and then she yeah it's this whole thing it's really interesting and then she goes to the stage the curtain drops and it's a full band and they fit it was really and it was like a legitimate surprise like i'd re i really like it really worked and it was and people just didn't really talk about it was like one of the coolest things i've ever seen it was really good yeah no surprise i mean she is like honestly low-key i'm predicting right now huge comeback by still summer recognition and appreciation for five i mean i i'm a super known super fan and all the records are pretty great but like i think that i think that she i think i think she's one of those people that was really affected by like crazy success to the point where it was like i can't really do that yeah people couldn't also i don't think people could hear the music anymore because the success but the music then you'll like listen back and be like whoa what record is this from you're like oh i thought that record wasn't great and then you listen to the record you're like well of course this is great too like she's she's like a true talent like it's a different like this doesn't exist really in the same way honestly like the emotional depth is just crazy so big big shouts leslie come on the pod leslie we've tried we were close

After I went to the show, I was like, this is fucking insane. It was so cool. I just think people, if you're going to tour at this point, why not try something? You know what I mean? It's so hard. Everybody can't make any money. If you're going to do it, you might as well fucking go for it. The thing is, it's expensive. The way that I'm planning on doing this is a zero-sum game. If you're a young person who's trying to live because also bro like i wish i could just live waking up every day thinking about music thinking about writing thinking about making my art yeah it was the it's like the dopest thing and it's such an enormous privilege that i got to do it for so long um but yeah like the heads who are still out there grinding it out touring every single day and it's like totally genre specific as well like there's some bands like you know you see like hotline tnt or something like they're just like rocking every show yeah but it's like built into the like rock ethos in a different way than if you're you know a a pro to like a 2025 version of feist and you're supposed to do like 26 shows in 31 days do five of those tours a year like What? It's crazy. What are you supposed to do? No, you're absolutely right. What are you supposed to do? But that's honestly why it's so fucking amazing that James Blake fixed all this. Where would we be without JB? Is what I always say. Honestly, you can't hate. I did a Patreon too. My hands aren't clean, bro. Your hands are definitely not clean. Speaking of Patreon, now that you brought that up, I was listening to a podcast that you were featured on earlier this morning when I was... doing my chores around the house and you were talking about the the title of of your most recent album i am toward you and you were talking about you're describing it as uh you're you're always listening to someone or something but you know you don't ever feel as if you deserve a sound like your ear is always turned towards somebody but you never feel as if you

are entitled to hearing anything but that's how much you are towards them and it kind of reminds me of like like our relationship where we've been averse to patreon yeah where or i guess like a different way of like social relationships yeah yeah no i think that i don't i don't i don't smoke weed i'm gonna sit this one out you guys go ahead i'll chris i'll explain you guys go ahead thank you i know what i know what my i know what my guy's saying he's saying so my the title of my album is i am toward you you can listen wherever you're wearing the merch i think aren't you Yeah, I am, in fact. That's nice. That's cool. Available on all platforms. Available on all platforms. No, but the... I talked about my, like... And I'm probably going to do another Patreon this year. Sort of, like, against my own better insight. But I talked about it as, like, the problem of... Maybe you should try a sub-stock. Yeah. I'll get you set up. Maybe I should. But I talked about it as, like, the problem... Same problem, I think, obtains. Which is the problem of, like, creativity on the billing cycle. which i just think is like nasty business bro that's a great way to phrase it i've never heard it it really hits yeah that's thank you thank you yeah so like jeans talk about what i think i am toward you means and it means like being in a relationship to something where you don't like feel entitled to it you don't claim to possess it you don't claim to determine what it is or know what it is or whatever this way of trying to be like open um to signals of the truth or beauty or whatever i just think that like once you throw that shit on a on a content calendar boom game over yeah what i mean i don't disagree and i'm a guy who likes calendars you know i i agree i i as as much as i love my as a fellow virgo king i as much as i love sending jason several invites to his google calendar with links I do agree with you that there's a certain level of like, what are we doing? Like some, everything can't be that. And I think we'll see a, I think we'll see like a recoil from that at a certain point because people, it's going to become too much. I don't know, bro. Because for me, it's like now more than ever, life just requires money earning labor. It used to be like, you know, I'm always talking this shit. Like you could go on the dole and live in a warehouse in Brighton.

And like your homie could come home with a task scam and you could invent drum and bass music. Like, cause all you were doing, you were just spicking back, hitting buttons. We're not talking Fred again. We're talking Goldie, you know, we're like, of course, talking a different moment, um, where you didn't have to like, I mean, nowadays, like if you're, if you aren't in that grind state and you're not making sure every hour is an earning hour, like you're a loser. It's easy to end up homeless. It's easy to end up without a, without a plan, you know? And so I just don't think that like, There is an alternative right now. I wondered why you, I wondered, you seem so busy, but you still drive Uber every night. So I was kind of impressed that, I thought that was pretty cool of you. So you're part of the problem, but you're part of the solution. It's wreaking havoc on my sciatica, but I love meeting new people, man. Yeah, I'm a talker at the end of the day. I'm just chatty. I'm just chatty and my Camry ain't paying for itself. I love meeting new people. God, no. I just love meeting new people. Gig economy shit just breaks. And it's just the trajectory of everything, sadly. As much as I like convenience, I do, and I hate when restaurants complain because that's all they do, from my view. But the DoorDash caviar economy is, in New York specifically, is just, it's overwhelming, kind of. Like, what it does, you see it. I mean, to me, I guess that's interesting, bro. I haven't lived in... I haven't lived anywhere other than LA since like 2015. So I haven't really seen the door dashification of New York city. Cause to me, like when I think of it, I go like, I'm going to caviar some shit in LA. Cause I don't want to get in my car and drive minimum 15 minutes. Yeah. No, for sure. But in New York, like it's crazy to me that people are door dashing. Like you live in the East village and you're door dashing from somewhere in the East village. Bro, get out of your shitty little apartment. You're door-dashing an iced coffee? Yeah, 100%. People door-dash fucking a Starbucks. If I eat out every meal, but I rarely order food in New York because it just feels shitty. But the thing that's changed is the e-bikes. That's the thing. Because all the delivery drivers have the e-bikes. So there's all these e-bike repair businesses now.

the e-bikes are just they're on the sidewalk i mean it's a fucking it's a madhouse bro it sounds straight up sounds like like kuala lumpur type yes yeah yeah no it's like there's just like motorcycles and motorcycle repairmen everywhere you look yeah just that's what it is and that they all because big shouts out to kuala lumpur love key Not a huge market for us, but yeah, some are listening. Yeah, yeah, it is. Yeah, there's definitely some. A few. I did a show there. I did a show there. If I did a show there, you guys can do a show there for sure. I don't know about that, Tom. I don't know about that. I also don't want to go there, so that's part of it, too. That's part of it. Yeah, actually, I was searching through some chart positions for How Long Gone and different weird countries where we have a high positioning. The Cayman Islands. We are a top 10 podcast. Hell yeah. My people. Tax dodgers. You already know who we're talking about here. Do you think that's just people we know from New York and L.A. going to Palm Heights for free? Land Rover, if you're listening. There's no doubt in my mind that the Cayman Islands listeners are your friends from L.A. and New York who are like, their parents are tax dodging there, so they're visiting Mommy and Daddy. Sick. I want more friends like that. They're like, Dad, I have a new idea for an art gallery. That's awesome. son i love my son i love which is great for advertisers it's great for advertisers we have a high net worth you know a listener for sure that's that's actually really funny jason i'm surprised i mean are you tom do you have weird can you go to like stuttgart and sell 10 000 tickets do you have any weird shit like that um i have a friend from stuttgart um I can't do a thousand ticks in the Black Forest, if that's your question. I just mean, are there places where you do really well that it's kind of like, there's no rhyme or reason? Weirdly, I would say it's nothing surprising. Berlin. Yeah, we love like, you know, you go on tour and you love like, I mean, you guys know this now that you're touring. Like, it's so funny. You guys are like now road vets.

I remember when you booked your first shows, and I was chatting with Jason, and I was like, what are you guys doing? And then I was like, oh, I see. They're road dogs now. XO Tour Life, baby. XO Tour Life, yeah. Can't keep me down. I mean, look, Jason and I care about our Delta status and eating out, and there's no better way to do that than Tour. What Delta gift did you get? It hasn't registered yet because it was a partner flight. It was a Virgin flight, so it takes longer for the miles to hit. I'm still waiting patiently. He's been updating the app every hour. Did you play a Millie by Lil Wayne for Chris? I should have. Maybe a We Fly High by Jim Jones would be nice as well. No, I was going to say, if you look at the tour schedule, you can pretty much guess where the shows are going to be really fun and where they're going to be less fun. And then there's a couple surprises in both directions where you're like... Oh, man, for whatever reason, Philly was really popping this time as the best show of the tour. Or like, damn, I didn't know that the vibes would be like that in St. Louis. That was electric. In Europe, it's like I never really play a lot of like miss. You don't miss a lot on a European tour because it's like everywhere sick. And even if you're playing like like in Europe, the vibe was always like if I'm being booked to play an art gallery in Katowice in Poland, that's because there's like 300 people there who are like the. hottest, most interesting people you've ever met for some reason. And the show's amazing. And they understand everything you're doing. Yeah, exactly. And they want it. We linked once in Barcelona when you were on tour, and I was there for Tom Brown, and weren't you touring alone with a keyboard? I was touring solo with so much gear. I was touring solo with two huge Pelican cases and my personal full-size roller. That was tough. I was actually in Barcelona. I wasn't playing a show. I was like, I was supposed to fly home from Berlin to New York. Flight got canceled. So they were like, oh, we can put you on a Berlin to Barcelona and then you can get on a flight to New York. Seamless or whatever. I get to Barcelona. That flight to New York is canceled too. And then for whatever reason, I had to wait like three days.

The booking a new flight was going to be mad expensive, and I was like, fuck it, I'll just get an Airbnb and hang out in Barcelona. And then I saw you were there. Match made in heaven, you know? I remember being like, you're alone? Yeah. And I thought maybe it was like, oh, no, there's a... Like, you were exaggerating. You're like, no, no, no, I'm really alone. That was low-key the final straw for me in terms of touring, because, like, in order to make it lucrative enough for me, I... I had to do solo. Like, I couldn't keep taking it out. Because the second you add two more musicians, then you need a tour manager. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And the second you add a tour manager, then it's like, well, we might as well add a sound guy, and so we also might as well add a lights guy. And then all of a sudden, you're like, you know, it's like the tour vibe was crazy. It's like, oh, sick. The guarantees just went up 5x. It's like, oh, guess what, buddy? Your overhead just went up 5x. So you're literally making nothing. Yeah, so I tried to do that tour solo, and it was sick. Like, I played in... budapest and i had to like scramble run to pack up my shit after the show get on a train um overnight train to cluj napoca in transylvania and i was like okay cool i booked a solo car so i'm gonna get to sleep or whatever i get in there there's a man sitting in my cabin in his underwear like a 70 year old man smoking cigarettes and it's like you know when the twin beds fold down in a train car and they're like That's the vibe. He's like, blah, blah, blah. I'm like, oh, fuck. So I got comfy. I got some Zs. I had a bummed eater or two and decided I could never tour again. Yeah, I think that would push anyone to not want to tour again. But high key, I should say, that show in Transylvania was, I mean, this is the ups and the downs of the whole thing. Dude, this is mental. I get to Transylvania in the morning, like 10 a.m.

Guy picks me up from the train station. He's like, what's up, bro? Like, great to meet you. I run this art thing here. Like, the show is going to be amazing. You can't check into your hotel until two. So you want to go get something to eat? I'm like, so tired. So I'm like, yeah, sure. Let's get something to eat. But I'd love to get an early check in if possible. Can you call? He calls. OK, we can get you checked in at one. So we go to eat and we go to this place. He's like, you're going to love this place. And it's a barbecue restaurant that's called like. brooklyn barbecue american style and it literally looked like someone had seen yeah someone had seen a restaurant on instagram and just and decided to like open one the food was so bad everything was like this weird simulation where like if you pushed on it it would just like fall down and so i was like this is gonna suck it was like going to north korea literally yeah yeah and so i was like fuck this is gonna be the worst day of my life whatever go to the hotel beautiful hotel like you know we're talking like what would be like a five-star hotel in this like ancient, probably an old castle. You know what I mean? Like amazing vibes, vaulted ceilings, like fucking amazing. So I'm like, all right, day's turning around. I go to do the show, we go to sound check. And in order to get into the space where the show is, you have to crawl through a small tunnel into this life, what was originally a cheese and wine storage cave underneath a castle. And the show was fucking amazing, bro. it was so so crazy to perform in this space and like the projections looked insane like so 10 out of 10 show 10 out of 10 hotel do you think that do you think that it's like in a place like that where they're pretty starved because it's so far flung yeah do you think there's just a community of people who are like how to dress while i was playing i can't wait to go or is it like this is a thing happening in my city. Let's go and have fun. I mean, I actually think it's cooler the way that it is. It's, it's, it's cooler. It's, there's very little happening, but everybody knows that there's this one group of six cool guys who are going to put stuff on all summer. I see. And they're like, we just go to whatever they put on. Yeah. And so like everyone was dressed like it was the big night out. You know what I mean? Like sick fits. Everybody's looking hot. European.

And, like, it was just awesome. And I think these six guys realized, like, nothing's happening here. And if we're nice, we can do it in the cave, the cheese cave under the fucking... Because the building was, I think, a federal building. It was, like, a capital building. Whoa. And it just had this, like, random structure. And they were like, what if we did a show there? Dirt floors. This feels like, honestly, it feels like a hardcore. It kind of feels like a weird, like... It was like that mixed with... like um more of like a gallery museum vibe and also like you know it's europe so there was like a heineken sponsor like there's like a big green fucking heineken star in this cave and shit and like it was crazy bro what was the what's the drug situation in transylvania um i don't know i i like that one of the key things about touring solo is you can't do that What do you mean? What the fuck? What are you talking about? He's got to load three pelicans out of a out of a cave. Yeah, I got to load. I got to load three pelis. Nobody's going to wake me up if I don't wake up and then I'm out a thousand bucks, two thousand bucks, whatever. And then additionally, I'm on such an emotional tightrope. I'm like barely able to not be extremely depressed. So if I do any like hard drinking or anything like that on that tour, it's like true. I might be inclusion of poker right now, bro. Straight up. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I might open a barbecue restaurant down the street. You know what? We got an American guy here opening a restaurant. It's a grilled cheese restaurant. So you're walking a razor's edge. You can't get too fucked up. Yeah, I'm just trying. Low key, that was when maybe I was watching my macros the most because I'm trying to not get sick. It was pre-COVID, obviously, but even still, touring, you just get sick. Like crazy sick, you're like. I never had a cold that was like this. It's like because you never had the fucking Budapest cold, bro. It's a different strain. New immune system shit. It's a different strain. Well, Tom, as we're reaching the third act of this pod, we would be foolish not to talk a little hoops with you. I want to get your take on the brawny nepotism, the nepo hire of brawny, and your thoughts on the future of the WNBA as well.

Let's do brawny first, though. Brawny gub. And then I'll say a little something about some news that just dropped about the Denver Nuggets. Yeah, I mean, the brawny thing. Oh, yeah, we're waiting with bated breath for that. Please, please don't wait for the Denver Nuggets news. Please, God. Nugget updates. The brawny thing, bro, I mean, like, honestly remains to be seen. I have, like, a group chat I'm in with, like, all of these, like, elite. I don't know how. I just got in it because they were like, oh. he's got a lot of followers and he's into this shit. Like I got into it. And now it's like literally all these like beat journalists for teams all over the, all over the league. Oh, wow. It's wonderful. And I get like big scoops and everybody's smart as hell and just psycho hoops ads like myself. And a lot of people in that chat are big time draft guys. Like they studied the draft, like, you know, they do a professional. So I didn't hear from a single reputable person that Bronny was like, deserved a guaranteed contract. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. Remains to be seen. Obviously, he had a great game in Summer League yesterday or the day before. Okay. You know, it remains to be seen. It remains to be seen. The dude just had, like, a super bad heart attack less than a year ago or something, too. I forgot about that. Yeah, bro. So maybe he's, like, on the mend still. I mean, my hunch, Chris, I know, you know, when Jeans looks at anyone, they look short. But you and I are supposedly the same height as Brownie James. And when I look at him, I think, no way, bro. I can see the top of his head. I'm thinking I can see the top of his head. No, I kind of agree. I mean, look, I'm sure he will do just fine, but there's also no way he can live up to the expectations. There's no way he can live up to the expectations. It's just crazy. I think it's harder to do just fine in the NBA than almost anybody realizes. So I think it's either he's actually just like this miracle. And he's just a beast, and it's, like, sick. Like, how cool would that be? Yeah. Or he's probably out the league in a couple years. Well, luckily, he doesn't really have to work, you know? So it's nice. Yeah, for sure. He probably wants to. But do you know how much his contract was for? I think it was, like, $8 million for two years, which is not nothing for a rookie contract. That's light. That's light. No, but, bro, for somebody, like, drafted at his position and stuff like that, a lot of those guys don't get guaranteed contracts at all. Okay. I see. Okay. But, you know.

It's like LeBron's your dad, bro. So you're going to get the contract. So to the W, the W is goaded. I've been watching it pretty seriously for two years now. And this season is like electric. They just got a big TV deal, too, I think. Yeah. Yeah. And I think that like, honestly, I think that the the marketing strategy around it annoys me a little bit because. it feels like it's either being like you don't like you don't like lesbians in designer clothes if there's one thing i do like chris it's that and you fucking know that bro so you're like actually that's the coolest part i want to see these chicks in prada what do you mean no no i think it's cool i love the i love that they're like getting in on the flashy side of things too because it's like very it's very cool but i don't know i just feel like There's still a lot of conversations where it just becomes misogynistic really quickly in terms of like comparing the contract numbers or comparing the athleticism or whatever. And it's like it's a different sport with different people and it has a different market structure right now. Like it's just not comparable. So to me, I watch it as a pure hoops head, and I think it's a lot of fun. So they're playing a different game of hoops that you also admire watching is what you're saying. They're playing professional basketball in the Women's National Basketball Association. It's like insanely sick. My question for you, Tom, because this is something that shook Jason to his core. Oh, great. When our friend told him that he couldn't get a single point on a wheelchair tennis player. Oh. He was like, there's no – he's like, you think – So my question is, they plug you in. You're the first man in the WNBA. Are you getting a triple-double? No. Are we getting anything on the board? Not a chance. Nothing on the board. Nothing. You're not even taking it to the hole. No way, bro. Are you kidding me? I'm contact-averse at the gym against other 40-year-old creatives. You think I'm going to the cup on like a 6'7", 21-year-old who's like a prime athlete? No, they are prime athlete. I didn't think so, but I just – you know, you never – because Jason was truly baffled by that statement. It was kind of like, wait, really? I wouldn't say I'm truly baffled. Wheelchair tennis, I don't – I can't speak to that because it's not a sport that I've viewed, so I'm not sure. I watched it a lot. It was weirdly on – because I was in London during Wimbledon, and BBC would play it all. And it's –

wildly impressive it's like very crazy it can bounce twice for the record i know that i would lose greatly i'm just saying i could probably get one a point one point i mean yeah okay well also crowd you you and brawny game a horse you think you got a couple letters on them or playing to play into 11 you think you can get a couple on them no not a chance that guy is lebron james's son My gene pool has like, dude, my gene pool hasn't been cleaned, bro. My gene pool is dirty as fuck. LeBron James' son? Imagine that, dude. He must be like stunning. I think you're right. I think you're right. But it's good to know that no matter how far deep into our sports and activities and fitness pursuits we go, we have to remind ourselves that we are merely amateurs who work on a laptop all day. And it has nothing. We will never. Yeah, bro. And also like. I'm fighting an uphill battle against my genetics. And Bronny's got like, you know, he's tuned up, bro. He's tuned up. When you're hooping, what do you do with your hair? I do like a little bun, little man bun. just like a like wow so you're so you want to be taken seriously on the court with a man bun yeah i go like this i look fresh i'll sometimes i'll roll out with this maybe i'll go out with this tonight you go karate kid style like a little half yeah happy bro what do you think i'm going like all the hair up in a bun have you have you thought about shaving the sides to look like a tool listener yeah yeah um look like the lead singer of the band static x something like that something like that have you ever had have you ever had short hair yeah hell yeah Not your length, but I had Gene's length for a long time, like 2012. In my mind's eye, I only see Krell with shoulder grazing. It looks good. Look, if you can do it, do it. Yeah, for sure, for sure. I mean, final thought, two thoughts, actually. One is one of the things that I'm really looking forward to in the sporting world is that they added braking to the Olympics.

I know Jeans is... Jason's a big five elements boy. Break dancing. Sorry, it's not dancing. It's called breaking. He's about to throw down a piece of cardboard on the floor right now and get busy. You know Jeans is still working on his... He's got a little moleskin where he does his graph. He probably does. I still practice my throw-ups every day. It's important. It's just like a foul shot. Carolyn got you a little wall in the backyard. Go ahead, sweetie. Yeah, final sports thought is right before I came on the pod, I saw the Denver Nuggets are likely to get Russell Westbrook as their backup point guard. Okay. Which, you know, mixed bag in terms of vibes for me. Like it took me two weeks of thinking through this to drink a little bit of the Kool-Aid and be like, yeah, good work. You know, like there's a redemption story, which like imagine Russell Westbrook gets a championship with Jokic. We got the... all these mvps like more mvps and we got shelf room for you know what i mean like yeah i like the story it just seems like it has a bit of an old guy's rule old dogs one last round how many miles does does russ have on how many seasons under his belt a lot bro a lot for sure if he closes if he if he shuts down his streetwear brand. He has an extra season or two in my eyes. That keeps him busy. The stress of running Honor the Gift is... It's affected his conditioning, I've noticed. He's a little slower off the jump, I would say. I don't know if you can get his ear too. Actually, I'm going to do something right now. I'm going to put this in the... I'm going to manifest this right now. Speak it to Will. I want to sing the national anthem at a Denver Nuggets game in this upcoming season. I just think it would be fucking hilarious. That is cool. I don't think it would be hilarious. No. I think you'd nail it. I would nail it. Like, literally nail it. I practice it a lot. Like, I do the Whitney runs. And I would love to do it and just get it up on social media and just have it under my belt. You know what I mean?

Oh, yeah, I sang the national anthem at the Nuggets game. I think you could probably do that. I mean, you saw the girl who sang that. You saw the recent one. She went to rehab that it was so bad. She literally checked into rehab the next day because she sounded so bad. Oh, really? Likely story, bro. That's such a fake shit. I was so drunk. I was like, I'm going to check into rehab the day after this podcast comes out. If you can really sing, alcohol ain't going to fuck you up that much. Oh, it's going to make you better, bro. Your reference of Whitney Houston is a prime example of that. You know, Whitney Houston, best of all time. Crack. Literally crack. Cocaine. Smoking crack. Friend of the show, Kevin Morby, he sung the national anthem at a Kansas City Royals game. And I think he just literally did like a social media kind of petition thing. Like, hey, if I, like how many, you know, and they're like, if you can get, you know, whatever, 5,000, 10,000 people to say we want him to sing the national anthem, you should set a little grassroots thing up online, contact the Nuggets. We'll find a rep there. See how many signatures. I'm not going to lie to you, bro. I don't have that. I don't have the Morby social clout. No, but we'll call Pitchfork. We'll get Stereogum, Pitchfork. We'll get them all kind of on the case. You know what I mean? Obviously, we'll have a little one-sheeter about how you're a Coloradan. down to the bone. And then maybe if we can get a little demo track of you doing some of those Whitney runs. Yeah, that could help. I think that'll kind of move the needle. Here's what we'll do. Here, you send us the demo. We'll leak it. And then it'll get picked up by all of these important outlets, as they say. Yeah, we'll get it picked up on Boulder Vegan. Lamb Goat will definitely post about this, for sure. Yeah, okay. Sounds like a plan. I knew I needed the How Long Gone PR team on my... Album cycle, bro. This is what we do. Tom, it was a pleasure. Thank you so much for joining us. The new album, I Am Toward You, is everywhere. It's getting great reviews. If you like music, go check it out. It's a beautiful piece of work from our friend here. And look out for the tickets, 2025.

Go catch the Krell live experience. And if anyone listening is high up in the Denver Nuggets organization, send me a DM and we'll get this thing sorted out. Anybody from the NBA, I still haven't set courtside next to Ethan Hawke at the Knicks game. I don't really like basketball, but it's time. Yeah, CB, let's get a courtside game in. I mean, that's the only way I'm going to go. That would be so fun. I know. That'd be so fun. We can get clippers. We can get clippers. What if the men hit a courtside WNBA game? That's not a bad idea. That's affordable. The outfit that I would wear? In order to go out with you guys, I'm going to have to get some menswear to wear in order to go out with you guys just in case the paparazzi. Yeah, you get a shirt with a collar. I know you got some in the closet. Drees makes shirts with collars. You must have some. I'll do a Mew Mew pool for you, Krell. Don't worry. You have to keep the tags off. Mew Mew polo. Thank you, Brady. All right. Thank you, Tom. I'm good to see you, bro. I appreciate it. Yeah, likewise, man. Thank you. See you, boys. God bless. Bye.