432. - Morgan Stewart McGraw

All right, this episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Stateside with Kai and Carter, a new podcast from The Guardian. And they are using this podcast to slow down the news and wrestle with the questions that we all have about what's happening in the world. And they do it three times a week, Jason. Does that sound familiar to you? We don't really talk about, you know, a lot of international global news items and climates and cultures and sports and things like that. We do talk about fashion and wellness, but for everything else, Kai and Carter are a great place. All right, so who couldn't use more news? Listen wherever you get your podcast. or watch on YouTube. How long gone? It's Christmas week. A lot of you are at home with your families rifling through. cabinets looking for pills, trying to hide how nice the house is, maybe decorating a tree. I'm, of course, doing none of that. Jason, are you in the holiday spirit yet? Yeah, it sounded like you were kind of doing a step-by-step reenactment of what your life partner is up to over there. But, yeah, of course, my house is obviously a winter wonderland. The cookie factory does not have an off switch. Of course. I did a juice cleanse yesterday, so I'm feeling like I'm ready to tackle more food. Okay, good. I got some steamed veggies and some steamed white rice coming at me for lunch after we record here. Delicious. That's great. I'm setting a good base. Yeah, well, we have a big dinner tonight. You and I are our annual holiday couple's dinner. Anything could happen. Which basically means we go to dinner and the How Long Gone card pays for it instead of you and I splitting it. It's symbolic, I would say, but it is not. Right, right. It's still taking money out of our fucking pockets, I'll tell you that. The same thing happens, but just a little different. Yeah, just a little different. Yeah, I'm in the holiday spirit. We actually had to do something that I've never heard of before, but a tree replacement. Whoa. That's right. So you got a Christmas tree. I didn't get, look, I went to Mr. A live one. I went and banged Mr. Jingle's line.

and purchased a tree plus delivery, and they delivered it. Okay, well, what's the difference between getting a tree and buying a tree from Mr. Jingle? Well, Mr. Jingle's, for a small $50 fee, delivers it with a stand and puts it in the house. I don't ever have to touch the tree. Okay, so you just wanted to make it clear that... There's no way that you're going to do anything that's hot or sexy or manly. Exactly. Unlike you, I don't put on my Urban Outfitters buffalo check flannel with my skinny jeans and Timberlands to load the tree in like it's a Netflix movie. So apparently the tree that we had, the original tree, which had plenty of water in the tank from what I'm told, unfortunately did prematurely die. So it was looking brown. So Alex was able to call Mr. Jingles himself and say, we need a replacement. They said, of course, come pick one out. And now we have a new tree that's a lot healthier. And the guy who dropped it off did say, damn, this looked like a fire hazard, talking about the old one. Oh, wow. Mr. Jingles, although they sold us a faulty product, they did make up for it with great customer service. So I want to shout them out over there at Mr. Jingles. Sounds a lot like Essence.com. Right, and you can also get a pumpkin there, I believe. I'm sure they call it something different, but I feel like this guy has got a couple holiday hustles. He goes to Bali to surf for the summer. You know what I mean? I think he's making his money doing the pumpkin patch celebrity paparazzi shots. And then, of course, the Christmas is a more general population business. It's a tough grind. Well, they say there's no such thing as bad trees, only bad tree owners. Yeah, I've heard that before. I'm wondering what could really go wrong. How could you, Chris Black... fuck up a tree. I didn't fuck it up. I didn't touch anything. I didn't do anything. Well, that's the problem. You didn't do anything. No. You didn't do anything, Chris. It's called neglect.

I didn't come to work to get punished by you two, okay? I get enough of this in every other facet of my life. Look, I don't want to punish. There's no wrong answers. There's no bad guys except you, of course. Yeah, there's no wrong answers. I hate to see a member of my spiritual family, the botanical universe that I feel so closely connected with. Oh, I see, I see. Your chosen family are trees, and they're kind of family members. I mean, there is sap on your hands. You could admit that. You know, it's funny you bring up sap, Jason, because I was watching the Winter House finale last night, and the hottie on the show... Um, is, is all the, all the rest of the, the crew is like partying and he's tapping trees, getting his own syrup. Okay. Which I think is something maybe if you were more of a winter season guy, I could see you doing that. Cause that's some working class kind of stuff. That's that sounds performative. Was he, was he tapping the, was he like acting like, Oh, I'm not going to like do fireball shots with you guys. I'm going to go out. and tap some trees, and then he's always looking over my shoulder to see if the black girl that has really good tits is watching him through the window with binoculars. I think... I think hottie Luke might have already beat, so he could be focused just on the maple. You know what I mean? But no, I think he's doing it because... I'm just going to go get some syrup. I don't know. I donate it to the kids every year. It's like a weird thing I do. I know. It's so random and stupid. It's crazy, but where I'm from in Minnesota, we actually do like a coat drive every year as well as a syrup giveaway. It's just something I kind of do for the community. Call me a dork. Call me a loser. It's just what's inside of me. Yeah, so the holiday season is in full swing. We had a birthday party on Sunday night for a friend of the show, Sue Chan. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Shout out to Sue. We love you, Sue. Care of Chan, if you ever need to do anything in the food space, event space, all that stuff. She's also a fan of the show. If you need to have like a crazy dinner for 50, she's kind of your chick for that. If you need Ignacio to cook, I cook the sea urchin over coals.

Sounds like he's suffering. He's being held at gunpoint. That's how hard he is. It's taking all the blood and oxygen out of his brain and body. When he starts talking about pork butt, that thing just goes up. I only have moments to live. But we went to this party. It was a Sunday night, industry night vibes. A 5 p.m. doors, 9 p.m. doors event on a Sunday. Oh, baby. We like that. We liked that. But it was beautiful. There seemed like there was a great natural wine selection and very knowledgeable sommelier. Close your eyes. Pick a bottle. You can't go wrong over here. We love those guys down there at the Yola Mezcal House. There was lots of How Long Gone family in the building, countless guests and upcoming guests and people that wanted to have nothing to do with us, like Aziz Ansari. But also, I just want to point out something that happened at the party that shocked me. and um kind of i i felt you know i'm a guy that prides myself on kind of knowing what's up and there was a moment where a song was put on the hi-fi at a loud volume no music was being played by the way there was no music being played really during the night you know what i mean it was a it was a literal needle drop it was a needle drop it was a yeah exactly and it was a dj scribble style drop and i heard this music come on and everybody goes crazy and they're dancing. I'm like, oh, what Licky Lee song is this? And then I realized it wasn't Licky Lee. And I was like, what is this? I'm surprised I don't know it. And everybody's so happy and loving it and joyful. And it feels like it's fucking, you know, something spiritual is happening. And I look over to my esteemed co-host, Them Jeans, while he's picking some tuna tostada out of his teeth. And I'm like, what is this? And he said to me, dead ass serious, it's the theme song from White Lotus. And I just want to say I've never been a part of something that was both so embarrassing and so confusing that I didn't even know how to feel. My feelings were mixed up. I didn't know what to do because it seemed like.

a song that intros a television show shouldn't inspire this much passion in white people. But I was wrong, Jason. And I think you even liked it a little bit, too. You can tell the truth here. Well, it was different for me because I obviously knew the song because I had watched. And I was also thinking to myself, before we showed up to the party, I was like, Sue is such a smart planner and also any event producer, any producer chick I've ever met. can lean on the ocd scale no no no offense of course no offense of course but it i i imagine a world where somebody's like oh my my party's coming up here blah blah blah i want to do it on a sunday but you know i have to wait until white lotus season two finishes or else no one's going to show up to my fucking party of course so maybe i'll bring a little taste of the islands of city silly To this place, I don't know what it was, but it did feel odd the way that it went from no music to now we're all dancing to this sort of tribal world music rhythm. It's some fortet stolen valor. I felt like it was a little more Jared Leto cult stolen valor to me. Well, that was the other part where I was leaning where it did have a cult-like feel to where... Or maybe it was like a hypnotic trance, which I guess is similar to that world where – Yeah, yeah. Or like a dog whistle where you just blow this silent whistle or yell a command in German and everybody just immediately gets in line and starts doing some type of shuffle style EDM dance to the theme song of a television show. I think that was probably like the final last hurrah getting it out of our system. You wish. I saw on Twitter today somebody had like a hat that said, white lotus theme song printed on it like a dad hat like quick hit kind of merch thing bro are you kidding are you kidding i mean it's a it's a viral global sensation and i don't think season one i think the song was different and then this one was was more turned up it kind of had the oh it had the diplo remix oh okay so that makes it that makes it okay but it was odd man it was odd and i felt i felt compelled kind of compelled to dance but it was also i mean there was a little

I mean, I guess maybe because Aziz was there and David Chang was there. And, you know, there's some people who have touched and rubbed the elbows with the Illuminati types of the world. And, you know, so it was giving a little... Just to be clear, Aziz's relationship with Aubrey Plaza is not Illuminati-based. They're both actors, so they know each other. Yeah, they both went to Harvard. They didn't meet at Jay-Z's yacht. You know, it's different. Yeah, they just went to college together. You know, it had a little kind of... ceremonial thing like if you don't dance you know something bad might happen to you it did and in a in an eyes wide shut kind of way yeah it did feel like that luckily i was able to i was able to sit back but before we talk to our guest uh today i just wanted to quickly talk about mason disick uh known coke user and friend of the show well we can talk about We can talk about it with our guest as well. I feel like she would have a lot of insights on any district matter. That's a good point. But she also might have close personal ties and not want to. Great point. Well, you said Mason is a known Coke user. I thought he was like five. No, he's like. You're talking about the dad. No, no, no. I'm talking about Mason. He's 13. And the way he dresses lets me know he does Coke. And we've talked. But he had a bar mitzvah. And there was a Canes truck. At the bar mitzvah, and guess what the theme was for the bar mitzvah? Well, you've got to say Raisin Cane's. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. There's a Raisin Cane's truck, and the theme of the bar mitzvah was Chrome Hearts. Chrome Hearts is the theme. That's the theme. So the overall vibe is just Chrome Hearts. And then you can also get some chicken strips outside. Yeah, Raisin Cane's for our listeners are in the global listenership. It is a... popular, infamous, regional, fried chicken, finger, and tender restaurant. It's something special. Kenny Beats is sponsored by them. Yeah, I mean, what does that entail where the theme is a company that makes bracelets? I don't know, but I've never been to a bar mitzvah, and you probably haven't either. I think our guest has been, so maybe she can at least shed some light on that portion of what the theme entails. I've DJed one. Whose kid was it? It was in Bel Air, I'll tell you that. It was me, Aoki, and Cobra Snake DJing some kids.

Maybe it was either a sweet 16 or a bar mitzvah, but either way, we were old and they were not old. Okay. And they wanted the full experience. I'm sure. All right. But, yeah, our guest today, Morgan Stewart, I actually know her from back in the day. We worked on some e-stuff together. I was, of course, behind the camera. She was in front of it. When you say e-stuff, like selling, doing, what is it? I was doing. She was selling. She had some good prices on a Mitsubishi double stack, so we kind of formed a nice relationship after that. You probably know her from television, from Instagram, for having a giant, giant closet and multiple children. But we're going to find out more about all that. We're going from Glendale to Beverly Hills today, baby. It's a big journey for us. So let's give Morgan a jingle and find out what's going on. Fabulous. Oh, this is huge for me personally. This episode of How I'm Gone. It was brought to you by TaskRabbit. Oh, baby, let me tell you something. This is not a joke. I use TaskRabbit a lot because I can't do anything. You need some art hung? TaskRabbit. You need something put together? A cabinet? Got to reach that cheese grater on the top shelf? TaskRabbit. Anything you need, TaskRabbit can take care of it for you. How it works, TaskRabbit connects you with skilled taskers in your area. They can help you move. They can assemble furniture, repairs, yard work, mounting, and more. You can search for a tasker based on cost, skill set, availability, and past client reviews so you know exactly who's showing up and can have confidence that they know what they're doing because taskers have assembled over 3.4 million pieces of furniture, completed 700,000 home repairs. handled 1.5 million moves, and the numbers are just going up, Jason. Yeah, throw a little money at the problem. It's not so expensive, and that job that you really don't want to do is something that another person out in the world is very good at doing and would gladly do it in exchange for a little bit of money. When life happens, your to-do list grows. Get ahead of it now and get $15 off your first task at TaskRabbit.com or grab the TaskRabbit app using promo code HowLong. Taskers book up faster, especially for same-day tasks. So book trusted home help today. That is $15 off your first task using promo code HowLong with the TaskRabbit app or at TaskRabbit.com. This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Squarespace.

Obviously, Jason, you and I spend a lot of time on the World Wide Web, so do our peers, our listeners, our friends, our colleagues, maybe even your parents if they're freaky. And if you're doing anything in the world... writing, taking pictures. I do topless boxing. You need a website. Exactly, a website that works, that does what it's supposed to do, that allows you to be creative but also business-minded. Jason, there's one place to go for that, Squarespace. Yeah, Chris, I'm over here. I'm modifying calculators and putting Claude inside of them so you could cheat at school. And I just want a place where I could have everything all in one place. I can have the SEO tools. So those future graduates can find me. And, you know, I'm able to accept, quote, unquote, donations for my services that might be gray area. You know what I mean? And then email campaigns. Hey, I got a new, you know, 2.3 version upgrade. Boom, boom, boom. Get the analytics going. Raise some money. You know, show your investor all of your cool analytics of what's going on. They're going to want to get in early. And we can use Blueprint AI to make your website look as professional. as your competition, if not more. So head to squarespace.com slash howlong for a free trial. When you're ready to launch, use offer code howlong to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain. All right, this episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Quince. Jason, the temps are warming up. It's getting hot out there. Summer always changes how I get dressed. I need pieces that feel lighter, more breathable. And they're just easy, but, you know, still put together. I don't want to look like a slob. That's why I keep coming back to Quince. You know, they focus on high-quality essentials that feel and look amazing. Breathable linen and soft organic cottons. Well-made basics, but without the luxury markups. That rare balance where everything feels elevated. but still effortless. Yeah, Chris, linen season is here. I wore a linen blazer to dinner a few nights ago in the warm California sun. But, you know, you got that Italy trip coming up this summer and quality European linen pants and shirts.

Upgrade that look starting at just $34. You know, if you get a nice linen suit, a little t-shirt underneath it, some chill shoes, you're looking good, but you're staying cool. The inside of your special areas are nice and dry as you turn up with your besties. So elevate that summer wardrobe. Go to quince.com slash how long for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns, even on a nice holiday now available in Canada. That is Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash how long. That'll get you free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince punto com slash how long. The fact that I got my AirPods to work by myself. Well, I want to talk about your AirPods because we do have camera. Proud of you. When we have a fun guest on, we'll go camera on when our Wi-Fi is sturdy, but your AirPods seem to be colored. Are those customs? Okay, so you have custom orange AirPods. Were those a gift from a brand partner or did you have those made? To be honest with you, they were a gift from my husband. He had them made. I have orange because I have an orange desk. Oh, shit. I have pink, and then I have lime green when I'm feeling really festive. Okay, so you have three different flavors of AirPod Pros to match your kind of mood or your clothing or both. Yes. But also, we should note that you can't buy AirPods in any color other than white. So how is this happening? I think this is a special order through Apple. Now, I can answer. Yeah, it's a whole thing. Well, what the fuck? Are you serious? Oh, yeah. No, there's like a whole special order thing. I think it takes like two months. And every few months I get like a new fun pair. The trick is also you don't mix them up and you don't fucking lose them. The white ones seem to disappear frequently. Yeah, you're right. Because when I wear my Chanel jackets, they are white and the headphones kind of disappear into the pocket. Sometimes I see the issue. That's where my head was going because I've heard of people who have like their cell phone and they just put like a piece of orange tape on it or like something super bright so you never lose it. Right. I thought maybe you just painted them with nail polish or something just so you couldn't find them. But this is straight from Tim Apple himself.

This is lacquered. This is like full on. I think they're also scratch proof, too. Actually, no, they're not. So it's wrapped like your Bugatti is what you're saying. There you go. And by Bugatti, you mean Bentley. Don't set me up to be obnoxious this early. Ridiculous, you guys. Don't. I want to be down to earth and cool. Is the Bentley orange as well, Morgan? It's green. It's green. I've actually so I last time I saw Morgan, I saw you and your husband at the 1975 show. But before that, I was jogging down the street and saw her emerging. from the Bentley to go to Pilates while I was on a run, and I stopped her like I was a criminal to say hello, and I looked fucking insane. I'm wearing, like, tights and sunglasses. You know, I look crazy. Morgan, it's me. It's me, Chris. It's me. It's just another fan, but I did see the whip, and it is a nice shade. It's a nice shade. Thank you. It's almost like the shade of, like, when somebody's talking in this Zoom. Oh, wow. You see the little green. It's that kind of shade. Now, how did you go about choosing that? Did they offer a certain – did you come to them with a – Pantone or did they offer a selection for you? To be honest, I said green and they said these are the shades of green. You can do like a forest green or I did the Alpine. And that was a long decision and I just felt like Alpine was different. It is. Anyone can do a Hunter Bentley. There you go. Alpine. That's light work. What is the... Because Jason just got a new Mercedes. It's his first nice car so welcome to the family. Welcome to the family. And he went to... It's used. He went to... He went for a mocha interior, brown. Did you do that as well? Obviously. Okay. And before that, I had a brown SL mocha with a brown interior. And to this day, it's probably my favorite car I've ever had. So you're also a member of Brown on Brown Mafia. I started brown. I literally am not lying. I started brown. Every bitch who I hated was talking shit. Like, why would you get that color car? I was like, okay. circa now kendall jenner's driving the brown everyone has brown now i had brown six years ago okay so what now did you have to did you sell that car did somebody come up on that did you give it to your mom as a gift like where is that car i didn't you know what that car that that was a leased car so that car had to go back it sounds like i probably got yours used

Oh, it's the circle of life. I always try to up the color every car. Okay, so what were you driving in high school then? Let's get a timeline. I was driving a white BMW 3 Series, but the decals, this is bringing me back to being the most annoying person. The decals were pink. So the three series number was pink. No, no, no. The BMW signs were pink. I did her twice. I did that two times. And this was pre-supporting breast cancer pink. This was just, I like pink. This was just, let's change it up. And I used to call her Muffin. She was like my little baby. Okay. So you went to high school in Los Angeles. You're from Los Angeles. Correct. Born and raised. Okay. I mean, to be fair, I think only someone born and raised in Los Angeles could drive a white BMW with pink badges to high school. 100%. And don't think that I was the only one after a while. Then everybody started to do the thing. So time and time again, you've been a trendsetter in the automotive department is what it sounds like. I feel like around, yes. Like clothing, automobiles, personality, it's all working. But by the way, really quickly, I do want to say, because you said that we saw each other in 1975, Maddie Healy, I just want to just on the record. Yeah. Okay. We're locked and loaded. He's my new star crush. Jason Momoa on stage up there with him, my favorite person. The bass player of the band, I can't think of his name. I've never met him, actually. I'm sorry, Jason Momoa came on stage? No, he looks like, the bass player of the 1975 is extremely good looking. He looks like a... Serbian professional basketball player. Okay. He's got the long hair. I don't want to make Morgan choose, but it's not. It's Maddie. Okay. It's Maddie. So does that mean he's replaced John Mayer in terms of musicians that you want to have sex with? John is gone. John is gone. John is gone. John is gone. Maddie Healy. I'm not kidding. So my husband's been a big fan of the band. We listen to them all the time. And for a long time, I was like. He's not a fan anymore. He's not a fan anymore. Every song.

is like kind of the same song, which I appreciated because it's so, every song is likable. Hit after hit. But then when I saw him and he did the whole like, I'm so easy, like, I don't, it was just, I was forever. Well, Morgan, Maddie listens to this podcast. Yeah, that's true. So if you'd like to send him a personal message. Maddie, listen, I'm a huge, huge, huge fan. I want you to know that my entire TikTok now is just videos of Maddie Healy doing all the things. And when I come out with my own show. I need him to be a guest on that show. Okay, so now you're using our platform to launch your platform. Okay, that's interesting. It will not be a podcast. Okay, yeah, because you have a face for TV. We're kind of radio guys. You can tell that now. Jason and I both own ring lights, but we just didn't bring them today. Hello, so do I. It's not helping for shit. So what the fuck is the point? Okay, so. Now, you, like I said, I met you years ago when you were doing E, and then you moved on and did a lot of E. And I would always see these guys on E with you, and I was like, these guys, I could do this. Like, what the fuck? Like, these guys have better heads of hair than me, but they don't have the sense of humor. And I'm just wondering, what do you think it takes? Because Jason and I would love to break into some on-air work. I know what it is, Chris. I know there's one thing that you have to do to be able to be shoulder-to-shoulder with her on E. Tell us. You've got to finally come out of the closet, Chris, and then all those doors will kind of open. That is a big factor. Okay, so if I just say I'm gay, I can get on E because they don't want any straight guys. You know what? I will say, what is even on E? I feel like I left five months ago, and it feels like I haven't been there in five years. to be honest with you. I feel like... It's just ridiculousness, probably. It's moved over to E now. It's just taking over. Just all of it. Listen, E is one of those things... I think it's more of... Yeah, I don't really...

I'm trying to think. I don't know what it takes to be on E. I don't think I want what it takes to be on E anymore. Okay, you're better than that. You've graduated, let's say that. I've graduated, yes. All love to the E family. NBC, Universal, those are our guys. But how high up are we graduating? Are we going Paris Review, New Yorker, that kind of world? Or maybe somewhere in between the two? Netflix, Hulu. That's exactly, thank you. That is the goal. I feel like I did E. for as long as I possibly could do it. And ultimately, I mean, it's no secret. It was their decision to part ways. It wasn't because they ended the shows that I was on. You're saying they had had enough Morgan Stewart. Is that what you're saying? I think they had enough Morgan Stewart. I think they had enough Morgan Stewart, to be honest. But I will tell you that emotionally, I was pretty much at my limit as well. I just felt like... I had been doing the same thing for so long. It was time to switch it up. So, well, you also have like 18 kids. So it probably got busy. It got busy for you. It got busy. But so what now, if there was in a dream world, and I'm sure your agents are developing this and you're deep in the process, but in a dream world, what does this program look like? You know, if it's your oyster, what are we dipping in? So it's going to be, I'm literally going to shoot the pilot next month. So I don't want to give too much. It's going to be top show base. That's always been the goal. That's always what I've wanted to do. But is it a thing where you have guests and there's other personalities? Correct. And not your typical, I mean, just people that I find interesting, not necessarily just the most famous people in the world. Okay, we're available, so let us know. There you go. Probably first 12, we might not make the cut, but second season, we're good. I mean, we're great. You're in. Signed up already. Well, this could be your opportunity to get a Maddie Healy kind of into your claws, you know what I mean? Hello. you know there's an opportunity to sell you know what was there a moment when you were watching maddie on stage was it when he was eating the raw meat off the bone or when he almost pulled his dick out or whatever it may have been like was it when he was dry humping the air and you could just kind of see yourself as the air it was a lot it was a lot

of that but i will say the meat the meat was a real that was some leo dicaprio shit like he really got into character for that like who wants to eat raw meat a lot of a lot of my bodybuilder friends uh but not regular people i've been so horny that i have to eat raw meat yeah i mean you'll have a little tartare you go to nobu and you go to matsuisa and all that stuff right this is true i can't do the tartare but the the the meat was definitely impressive i just felt like i haven't seen somebody I just felt like there was a genuine star power that I hadn't seen in a long time. There's not a lot of real rock stars nowadays in 2022. That's what it is. Everyone feels to me like it's like you need to have the right Gucci outfit. Don't come for Harry. Yeah, don't come for Harold Stylish on this program. He's my Matty Healy, okay? Listen, I'm all about it. I think he is. stunning as well but i just think everything's so manufactured where maddie's the right type of manufacturer like he's got the right suit but it doesn't seem like it's trying hard yeah they're both they're both great in their own regard but when it comes down to it harry is gonna watch while you have sex with maddie in the corner of the room that's just kind of what goes down i'm not putting i'm not saying you specifically whoever's in that throuple no harry is deaf i completely concur with that now but when did you when did you When did you decide, have you always been like a rocker? Have you always had this affection for rockers? Because your husband is a rocker and we're familiar with some of your past relationships. So when did this happen? You know what? It happened at 1975. That's when it happened. Listen, I am like the most basic Drake girl. Like I am that bitch. That's like any R&B song, anything with Drake. I'm like, I love that song. 1975 was like my first, and it was an enjoyable show. So I was very, I've subscribed. I'm not kidding. If I scroll through my TikTok right now, it would just be constant Maddie Healy footage. Are you doing numbers on TikTok? Is this your preferred medium? Let me tell you something. As of last week. As my audio is loud. Yeah, I'm only into TikTok now. I only care about TikTok. Okay. Is it because you find it's the best avenue for your brand? Correct. Because if I take one more mediocre photo of myself or be frustrated at my husband because he doesn't want to spend two hours taking photos of me in a public setting.

It's just caused too much stress for me. So we have TikTok. I can do it myself. Okay. So Instagram is ruining your life and TikTok somehow is enriching it is what you're saying. I feel like I am the master of my own destiny on TikTok. I can set up the fucking ring light. I can talk for two hours to myself if I want. Instagram is just, I am now not in the place in my life where I want to stand in front of a venue and be like. take my like i can't it's just not working it's not working for listeners at home she was posing yeah yeah and then your husband was and you're like not that angle you fucking idiot that's right and he's like babe can we go inside please i'm hungry no it that's that was the tame version he's like just fucking i you hate all these photos fucking deal with it i'm like you're right yeah that's that's on you i mean i think that so jason i feel like we're aged out of tiktok and i don't really check it out very much but i'm also i'm also terrified of the algorithm I just, everyone tells me it's too powerful. It sucks you in and you can't be released. You can't. And I will say it took a long time. Like it literally took me a year to get into it. And as of three weeks ago, it's the only app I even give a shit about our track. Okay. And it's fun. It's also exciting because my numbers on TikTok are on the lower end. So it's much easier to gain more. Okay. Right? Like if you're a million plus, those really, it's a slow escalator ride up. Okay. TikTok, they give them out. It's easiest to lose the first five pounds, not the last five pounds. Putting it in words that I understand. Thank you, Jason. Morgan's gesticulating with her arms in agreeance. Correct. I mean, I just don't now, but you, I feel like you've, you've garnered such a following on Instagram. Is it, it's, it's not daunting to start over or you're saying it's just, it's more fun. So it doesn't feel like work. It's more fun. So it doesn't feel like work. And also it's like, yeah, my following on Instagram, but I need so much validation that like, I feel like lately it's just been a little bit more quiet that I'm like, what am I, am I just like talking to an empty room? Cause I don't need to do that. Okay. So, but do you want like chicks telling you, you look cute or do you want?

Okay, that's what you want. The answer is yes. I want everything. I want every kind of morsel of attention I can get. And also, I just think the idea of just consistently taking the same kind of photo over and over. I'm at the point where, first of all, I've always hated it. And I've always felt like a pressure, but then I also haven't carved out the time to make it work. It's just too, I'm just more free flowing than that. So TikTok's more my vibe now. Okay. Wow. You're free flowing. You're a free flowing content creator. That's good to know. I was wondering how you would kind of describe it. You know what I mean? So that's great to get that in words that we can understand. Thank you for that. You're welcome. You're welcome. You're welcome. It's true. In relation to your social media use and avoiding it or enjoying it. Yes. Do you have ground rules set, like no phone before you wake up, 20 minutes or no phone after a certain time kind of thing? I really want to say that I have this very zen routine and I have phone hours from this time to this time. Ironically, the last two nights, I have sort of been like, okay, the phone has to go right now. I'm just going to check out. But that won't last. I'm a wake up, check your phone, on your phone through every show that we watch. My husband's like, I'm like, what happened? He's like, if you're not going to watch it, then don't care. I can't keep answering your questions. Like somebody will die and I'll be like, well, how did she die? He's like, I don't know. You should have paid attention four episodes ago about it. So I definitely am. There's it's a constant phone. But I also don't you feel like a lot of the work you do is on your phone? Like everything's on your phone. Absolutely. I'm pro phone use. I don't give a shit. I respond. I also find that I'm the fastest responder, which gives me an ego boost that I need. First responder. I'm a first responder. I'm on the front lines. If you text me, I'm going to text you back immediately. And that is important to me and my growth in my business. I feel like it's helped me in my career. Jason's a little more like, oh, sorry, bro. I was walking the dogs. And he doesn't check his phone. Well, when you have actual talent, Chris, you can kind of be cool like that. But if you don't have any innate talent, then you kind of have to be a teacher's pet. No, that's true. I'm not the best, but I'm the first.

That's true. It is kind of one of those things like I'm, I'm a first responder as well, but then don't you feel it? Sometimes you, then you're like, wait, shit. If I can't respond or I don't want to respond, people know immediately that you're avoiding them. No, that's, that's called that Morgan. That's called a power move. And that's what I, I, I like that a lot. Yeah, Jason knows. Jason and I are in a – we run this small business together. He responds to me when he knows it's necessary, but he will leave me unread if it's a meme that he doesn't think is funny or he has seen before. And I respect that. I respect that. That's a nice power move on his part. Okay, and what are the signs? What signs are we dealing with? What are both of your signs? Oh, we're both Virgos. We're both Virgos, September. You too? I'm Virgo rising. You know, I saw a meme that I sent to Chris earlier. It was like a list of like 10 traits that – you should avoid in a partner or a man or whatever. And it was like, don't date Jamaicans. It was like large swaths of things. And one of them was like September Virgos. So why September specifically? If you're an astrological master, I feel like you might know more than we do. You know what? I don't, but I will say I feel like the September Virgo is way more efficient. I'm into the September Virgo. And fun fact, so I'm Virgo rising, but Gemini sun, but they're both ruled by Mercury. So I'm like double busy. So I feel like my Gemini Virgo mixture is the equivalent to a September Virgo. Oh, I understand. Now, follow-up question. How many times have you seen a psychic in your life? Like every two months. Okay. I have like a spiritual healer. I subscribe to all of that. Okay, so I don't want to get into numbers here, but I feel like you're personal. I think you do, Chris. I do. Your monthly personal maintenance budget is, I feel like, a high number, and I can relate to that. You can't put a price on self-care, Chris. But as a man, I think it's still just always going to be less. You know what I mean? But we're talking Pilates. We're talking facials. We're talking therapy. We're talking psychic.

Are we cupping? Are we needling? Like what else? We're absolutely, it's a weekly lymphatic drainage massage. Oh, of course. How can I forget? Obviously, which is the combination of cupping. Cupping just depends on the outfits for the week because I, you know, if I'm wearing something. Oh, of course. How could, yeah, you can't go backless. I will. You can't go back. I'm also the, uh, the person that does like, like has the appointments for like the facials and the lasers and then nothing I do makes me look better. So then I kind of just go through phases of not doing like nothing's actually helping. Like all these bitches are looking like candle wax. like pulled and tight, stretched, and I fucking love it. I cannot achieve that look no matter how hard I try. You're saying that you've tried to spend as much money as you can and it's not working. It doesn't work. So you're going to stop. It just doesn't. I don't know. I'm not meant to look. glassy for whatever reason all these other girls i don't know if it's i don't know if they're just going full throttle but i can't i can't get there okay that's i feel like that's a good thing to learn at your young age you know because i think yeah yeah you could because if you keep pushing into your 50s and 60s you start to look crazy and you're spending a fortune it's just not worth it and i feel like i mean you guys are both guys guys don't want their girls to look too done right they don't no they don't they don't well i think so i think some do I think there's freaks out there. Like, you know, a guy that's got a table at Poppy tonight probably does want that. But Jason, I do not. I don't think. Males who are secure with themselves and what they want in life do not like that. It reminds me, you know, when like super 4K HD TVs would come out and you'd watch it on like the realistic mode and like a TV show or a movie would just look like. like they're in the room with you and it's so it's too much it's so far in that direction that it becomes like makes you look makes you feel nauseous yeah yeah that's kind of what it is like i need i need some some real grit yeah but something i think that i say all the time because i i mean you know i'm we all live in la and you go back to new york and you see people that are hot with

but there's like a personality to it. Whereas LA, most hot chicks look kind of the same because they're going to the same place. And that's the goal. But who are they trying to look like? Like, who is the picture they're taking in? You know, I think it's like this wave. It's like this wave of look where it's not even just one specific person anymore. I think like, I don't want, this is the confusion. Like it, Kim Kardashian. is sort of like the poster girl of that look. But she was always so beautiful that that work works. Does that make sense? Sure. She had a good base. She had a good base. She was always gorgeous. And I'm not saying she's had things done. That's for anyone else to decide. There's been some maintenance, let's say. But the face, the eye placement, her natural genetics have only lent to her becoming more beautiful. Me, you have to like chop a tree down and then start again. And that's where it starts to get too plasticky and where you start to look like you have fallopian tubes in the cheek. So she's like a beautiful green Bentley off the lot. All you have to do is put some rims on it and the thing is done. But you, we have to build the transmission from scratch. It's a whole thing. Yes. It's just I cannot achieve that level of, like, Bambi Joe-eyed. Like, what time is it? You know, like, I don't know where I am. Like, that look. Me no no clock. That's a great description. That's what it is. Well, we don't, I mean, yeah. You don't want to attract men that are attracted to, like, baby play. You know what I mean? You need something a little bit more of a stronger person that will put you in your place every once in a while. Yeah, and by the way, to me, it's not even, it's always. I'm the girl that wants the girls to like her, not the guys. Yeah, I'm the same way. But when I do it, it's called gay baiting for some reason. But when you do it, it's okay. I don't really understand. It seems like, once again, women win. You know what I mean? It's fucked up. Well, it takes more effort to win over a woman than a man. A man, it's just like, look good, not mean. All right, here we go. But for a woman, there's an emotional, an intelligent, a spiritual. Do I feel safe around you? Are you manipulative? There's a lot to be considered. It's true.

a different it's a different animal um i want to talk to you about clothes um okay because i i love clothes i you really do love clothes and i i mainly i would like to start off because you have a closet that feels like kind of an adu um which if you live in la you know it's an additional dwelling unit uh and it yes it feels like it could be the pool house maybe that you've made into your own you are so funny So you bought an old Reformation hardware and turned it into your closet? Literally. Put it on the property? It seems quite large, and also I would just like to talk about how you're organizing it, and also... you know, what you're keeping, what you're getting rid of, you know, what, because I feel like this is a whole, this is a big part of your life. This is literally like the entire right side of my brain is just consumed by like getting rid of things, not wanting to get rid of things, keeping things for my daughter. When am I going to wear that again? It is literally, it's embarrassing how much time it takes. So I am currently podcasting with you guys from my office. Oh, nice. Okay. Okay? Okay. Look, that's the ring light. Which looks like a showroom, basically. Yeah, what is this? Is this, like, the current rack? This is the current... Wow. I want to just... This is the current rack. These are the things that, like, I have... For listeners at home, Morgan is crying because of what Chris was saying. These are the things that I have to put up here so I don't forget about them. Like, there's, like, a gold Chanel number I can't wait to bust out in a few weeks. Then I have another rack down here. Okay? which is fucking bananas. That's a lot of summer clothes. And then I have a closet in there. So that's filled. And then I have a closet in my bedroom that's also filled. So it's really, I basically kind of thought about maybe this room does need to just be full closet. Like I'm talking shelving and all of that because it's become a lot to handle. Okay. So when you're deciding, obviously, to me, Chanel, we keep for our daughter. That makes sense. That's a classic.

That's a classic pass down that we've all seen for years. You know, that's a bust down. Yeah, exactly. With this 16th birthday, if you don't get the Chanel, the little one, you know, the 5,000, 6,000, you know, not the bat mitzvah, not the crazy, not the crazy one. Yes. Yes. That, that mom, mom retains the crazy, you know, but are you, are you Chanel pilled? Like, are you, are you buying a bag a season or do you try to? Show restraint. Okay, so I will just tell you, I am not buying Chanel bags. Because they're played. It is. If you want to be the most basic bitch. Are they being gifted to you? If they were being gifted to me, I would be, yes. You're like, I love Chanel bags. A Chanel jacket is where I'm at, and the weirdest one they make. Because you've had Chanel bags for so long that you're like, I need to level up. And the jacket. Also, I will say the jackets, which I also love. I think they would look silly on someone that's too young. As a young Beverly Hills mother, what is more appropriate, really? Listen, if you funk them up a bit, I'm all about this little number, this gold. You see that gold thing right there? That's like a gold shearling that I don't even know how to... I get nervous she's in the same room as me. It just makes me very... It's like that 80s vibe, but definitely no Chanel bags. It's really, for me, I'd rather buy an Hermes bag only for the investment purposes. If you can get your hands on one from the store that's ranging between $6,000 to $14,000, let's say, those things are online. Some of them are being sold for $200,000. Like a Rolex or a Tesla, they're only, boom. As soon as you buy them brand new, sell them for double easily. I could try. So you're my plug if I need to get an Hermes bag. You could, because I've heard... It's difficult. You have to be grandfathered in. You have to make a lot of – Chanel is the same thing. You have to be on the list basically to buy new stuff. They're gatekeeping. There's nothing wrong with our good friends over at the RealReal as well because you can buy a great certified pre-owned Hermes bag. No problemo. That's great. That's true. And they look good as new. Well, it sounds like it was reminding me of when you said, like, I want to get the Chanel coat.

but like the ugliest weirdest one that nobody else wants. You want to have the brown car that nobody else wants or has. Is this a thing of like, I want to sort of stand out from the crowd or is it a thing where you like the difficulty of like climbing out of a hole, like digging a fashion hole for yourself and being like, I'm what I'm, what I'm achieving is much more difficult. I do this more time and practice than the average bear. I think it's a combination. I definitely feel like I want to, I don't want to trend set. Yeah, for me, I want to go like the random route. I want people to not be able to fully understand. Even though I'm one end, I'm so basic, too. Like painfully basic. Same, sweetie. Yeah, like I'm all day. Okay. So, yeah, I just, to me, the last thing, if a bunch of people have something, I do not want that. Sure, okay. Well, maybe this question will be more fun for you to answer. Like whenever I'm... playing music or something or putting it together an outfit sometimes i'll be like i'll have somebody in mind and then be like all right i want to put an outfit on that will impress this one person or like if i'm djing in a club and like drake walks in or whoever it might be like i'm going to play music that i think drake will want to hear is there a person that you want to impress the most in the fashion world hypothetically speaking anyone alive in the world and you can't say maddie healy I feel like he's definitely like an understated Celine suit from Phoebe Philo vibe. Sure. He knows his stuff. He does, right? No, I don't. There's no one I want. You know what I will say? And this is the only thing I will ever be this cocky about. Fashion is not something I need to impress people with. Like, I know I haven't. Oh, let's go. There's certain things that you have. But there's always somebody who has cooler, better, younger, more impressive, esoteric, weird taste out there. Fair, but I haven't come across her yet. Oh, damn. Jason, she sounds like you when you play one of your... throwback blog house set but but i definitely feel like there's obviously there could be something better fashion staples like lauren santo domingo i feel like back roll is fashion oh wow we're going lsd okay that's i like lsd i think lsd is a good one lauren i gotta lsd looks um you know what i'll say i i she looks very rich

You know what I'm saying? Very. Like very rich. I mean, it's because she is, but I just mean she looks extremely put together, like extremely dialed. And she always looks good for whatever she's doing, which I think is also important. I see. So appropriate for the situation. Correct. Yeah, I mean, she's 46, born in Connecticut. The pedigree is there. She's 46. She looks goddamn 32. I literally was just – I could not believe that you just said that she's 46. There's just – to me, she doesn't seem that way. I wouldn't have thought that. I wouldn't have thought that either. Well, in that case, then I think you're going to have to save the Chanel Sherling for Aspen. Let's keep it real because it's – And by the way, I'm going to Aspen. Oh, no. I mean, if you're not going to Aspen, you're going to Napa, I'm guessing, right? You know what? This is the basic part of me where, like, of course I'm going to go to the most obvious fucking ski destination with my kids for New Year's, which, by the way, I hate Aspen. I don't know why we're going there. I fucking hate that place. I've never been, but it seems like people really like it. So what's the downside? The Kif store? Oh my God, the Kif shit. I can't with the Kif shit. I got so much of that stuff gifted to me for my son. I'm like, he's not in this. We're not doing this. That's child abuse. We're not doing this. Aspen is like a little snow town that's kind of like... which, by the way, I need to get into all these restaurants, so maybe I shouldn't talk that much shit about it. But it's just sort of the idea of this chic. It's not like what chic is seeing in Switzerland. Going to Aspen is like going to Disneyland with snow. Okay, I understand what you're saying. You go to Aspen, and it's like, okay, they have the carbone and the nice guy and the hide, and it's all just the same shit, except it's colder. Exactly. It's all just for content. It's like, all right, I've been wearing my whatever.

cherry crop top all day. And now I have a winter look that I need to photograph, but I can't do that in front of the Paul Smith wall. It's 85 degrees. We got to go to fucking Aspen. We're fucking gas it up, baby. Go to Van Nuys straight to Aspen. This is not a game. This is not a game. And you know what I will say? I love that we all think the exact same way because living in Los Angeles, it is very challenging to be able to wear different things. Even if you have the different things and it drops a little bit colder, you're still in the same fucking leggings from the morning. Like you're not wearing anything. It's sad. We have no protocol with getting dressed here. We're in New York. You need to get dressed to some level to do anything. Yeah, no, I agree. It's what's inspiring. And that's why we love it. That's why we have to have both, Morgan. I can't live this. I agree. I can't live this West Coast life. People are uninspiring. But the weather is so nice. It is so nice. But really, I mean, I feel like the city is just vacant lately. Like there's just nothing. Did you live in New York? Yeah, in 2007. After six weeks, I gained 30 pounds. It ate me a lot. Right. No, no. Six weeks. Really? Six weeks. In six weeks. I went to Pace University. I got dropped off in August. I came back for Thanksgiving. My parents were like, are you having an emotional breakdown? Why are you this size? Was Kelly Catrone beating you up? No, it was. I wish. I have like fuzz for my Celine Twitter if I keep playing with my eyes. Sorry. So you're saying the Magnolia Bakery was just too close? Because most people, they move to New York fashion girl in college. You smoke cigarettes and drink cold brew all day and you lose 30 pounds. Okay, you did that too. No, I did. But the Magnolia, I mean, it was just, I was so LA and so blonde and so lost that I just ate my way through that city. I'm not kidding. It was 20 pounds. That's impressive. I don't know if I could do that if I tried. Was it Katz's Deli? What was the silver bullet that took you down? Everything. It was Katz's. It was Magnolia. It was the random Chinese food down the street that I thought liked. Because in LA, it was like I ate it, but I didn't realize I wasn't eating it every night, and I had never gained weight. But when I was putting it on, I just didn't...

I can't, you guys. I don't want to take you back there, but what was the nightlife? What was your, was that like butter era? Where were you going? Yeah. 10 June. Oh God. Okay. It was gold bar. It was all of those places. And I didn't have a clue. I just was running around with my friend from LA that I had no, I could not, that city was not, if I would have moved when I was older, I would have been able to handle it. You had no business being in New York at that time in your life. No. I mean, it was the best thing, but. I don't know. I feel like if I tried to move there for the first time, like now or even like 30, you just have to have too much bread. You have to have so much money and it still is going to beat you up. It doesn't matter how much money you have. It's still rough. Why is that? It's even like waiting for the elevator for two hours. You're like, can I just get to my house? Yeah, I mean, there's people who are billionaires who still have to lug toilet paper down the sidewalk up to their apartment. Yeah, yeah. And we just don't have that here at Erewhon in our parking garage. Right. Free validation for two hours. It's the great equalizer. Yeah, it is. New York is the great equalizer, but I didn't know. So you made it six months, and you were like, I'm all set. I did a year and a half. Well, I did. two school semesters and then the summer I came home and then I went back for it. So I did three semesters. Okay. So you were there long enough to know it wasn't for you. I mean, the thing is, it wasn't that it wasn't for me. It was that I was mentally just such a mess that like nothing was for me at that time. Okay. Because you were trying to like figure out who you were independent of like your family and like leaving home, leaving home and like school was never really for me. I just, I think the way my mom likes to put it is I was emotionally underdeveloped. So when I was like 19, I was really probably. 15 and a half, 16. Emotionally. And girls are usually more, like, I just couldn't, I was like, wait, what do I have to do? Like, what's responsibility? Like, how do I log in? It was just, I've caught up as I've gotten older. Okay. All right. Well, that's good. But I feel like you're a young, I mean, you have two kids. I do. Which seems extremely lit. Yeah. And something that I personally can't imagine. But.

I feel like that is a song. I don't, why did you do it? Cause you're pretty young. So it's like, I wanted to, I really wanted to, you know, I was just ready. I got really, I was really fortunate that they both happened literally like the first time anything happened unprotected. You can't plan it. They're one year and one day apart. So my daughter is February 16th, 2021. And my son is February 17th, 2022. This is very efficient. So your, your children's birthdays are more organized than your closet is what it sounds like. Yes. literally and by the way it was not planned so i got pregnant literally three months after i gave birth two and a half months after i gave birth that seems um insane insane so the inside of you and your partner's body is really cooking it's really moving nicely well-oiled machines it was really meant to be and as somebody who's i've never been pregnant before i've never had to have an abortion nothing to the point where i almost thought deep internal thoughts like there might be An issue. An issue. The amount of hoeing that I'm doing, I should have already had an abortion by now. I mean, most people I know have had some kind of accident. And I, not once. Yeah. Not once. Yeah. So I was very, very fortunate in that. But now, was he ready too? Or was he like, damn, okay, I guess we're having kids now, baby. That's cool. We honestly, it's we, well, first of all, we dated before. I've said this a thousand times. But we dated before, right after I got back from New York. So he got fat me. Fat brunette me. Oh, he was down. So he's a day one. That's love. That's how you know it's love. Oh, I didn't, I actually didn't know this about you. So you're saying you dated him back in the day and then you did a classic reconnection. Yes. And then we, and then I was getting divorced and he just sort of, we reached out. We kept seeing each other a little bit, but I was like, I'm not doing this with you. Like you're out and about doing that Mattie Healy shit on stage all the time. He was on tour with like the Jonas brothers who are his good friends. Like he was just doing his thing, like following his passion.

And I was like, I am not this dumb bitch that's going to fall into whatever you think this is going to be. There's just no way. Our lifestyles are just too different. I was getting up at 5 o'clock in the morning to go to work every single day. I had no social life. I had to be in bed so early to function. And then the second we were in the same city long enough, it was like, oh, no, this is, yeah, oh, God, so gross. But this is really it. And then we were both like, let's. We knew once we started to engage in unprotected sex, we both were willing to be pregnant from it. Okay. I don't think he thought it was going to be the first time. Sure, sure. No, man, men don't like to think at all. He put a toe in the jacuzzi. He's not diving all the way in, but wouldn't you know it? Even I remember saying to him, like, you know, this is something I'm ready for. And he was down because we knew that we had found each other, as cheesy as that sounds. But I remember vividly being like, this really could take a long time. We have no, I mean, this might be two years. Four weeks later, it was very pregnant. I was like, what? Damn, that's intense. It was insane to the point where I took my pregnancy test with my son. He was like, okay, whatever. You're just tired. That's not physically possible. I had a bunch of thyroid issues. My body was not normal. It's probably just COVID again, babe. You're not fucking pregnant. Literally. Then he goes, okay, go take it. Don't make a fucking joke about how you're pregnant. I don't want any of that. He's not in the mood. I was like, I'm not going to say anything to you, but here you go. Here's six tests. That's so sad. You put him down like a full house playing poker? What? Like, how? What do you mean how? He started trying to think back to his high school anatomy class and be like, I don't know about this. This don't make sense. This don't add up. And then the kicker was when we went to the doctor and she was like, oh, your kid is due the day after your daughter's birthday. And I was like, okay. Got it. So we're done here. Now, I know you're... Okay, so...

This is something we talk about with parents on this show pretty often, but like parents, the thing about it that scares me the most, besides obviously the financial responsibility, my kid being a drug addict like me, et cetera, is the having to socialize with parents that I don't like because the kids are friends. And I feel like maybe where you live and maybe your tax bracket, that really hits different for you. It sucks because it sucks. It fucking sucks. No, it doesn't matter what tax bracket, because even because not everyone's in the state. It is. It's literally I said this to somebody not too long ago. You know, you're kind of you're in your early 30s. You finally feel like you found a little bit of yourself. You're not like the most insecure. You're a little bit grounded. You know who your friends are. Yeah. And then you have kids. And then you have to try all the fuck over again. And it's the worst. And then you have the one, and by the way, kids come out as they are going to be. You know who's going to be the fucking loser. You know who's going to have the drug problem. You know who's going to be good in math. You know the one that's not going to be picked for the team. You know. They come out as they are. Like Ro is like side-eyeing, giving you like, she's going to bring me to my knees and already does. the parents, and then you have the mom that's, like, dressing her kid like your kid, and you're already like, I will fight you. Like, find your own style for your little bitch. Like, I cannot. It's the birthday party, and then there's the dad in the sandals all the time, and you're like, it's December. Just wear a fucking seat. Okay. Is it at least a Ferragamo slide, or is it just a regular flip-flop? No, it's like, it's giving, like, a rainbow. I just can't. We're not in Orange County. We gotta do better than that. We're not. And then you're like, but I need to make an effort with friends, moms, because the kids need to hang out. But we're also at this age right now where my daughter's going to go to school next September, and that's going to be a whole other world. So is that for the pre-pre? No, that's preschool, so she'll be two and a half. It's fucked up, and everyone hates it. And it's also hard because it's hard enough finding just regular people in the world that you get along with and you don't think are terrible.

But as soon as they have kids, it's such a full-time job that you don't have time to be cool and cultural and know about stuff anymore. So as you have kids, you get worse and you get more boring and you get more annoying. And it's completely right. And you also, everybody just wants to hang with the people that they liked before kids. And they all have kids, but then the kids go to different schools. It's very stressful, the whole thing. And I'm literally at a point where she's not even talking yet to people. It doesn't even matter yet. Okay, so for the stress, is it 4 o'clock, 5 o'clock, we open the rosé, or is it a gummy edible CBD situation? What are we doing? It's definitely more alcohol. It's an alcohol thing every night. I try to cut back as much as possible just for weight reasons. What's the drink of choice? The kids go to bed, your husband's snoring. Now it's you time. So my husband is, he's like a one drink a night guy, maybe two. And he's always like, I don't even want this. Sit down and drink this, baby. Sit down and drink this. Sit down. You know what? He's a tequila. It's a 1942 on the rocks with an orange witch. Oh, okay, big dog. All right, damn. That's him. That's him. And then me, I'm like. Don't tell your accountant that. They know, trust me. And then for me, it's really like if I am drinking, it's. If it's out, it's the same drink. It's tequila or I'll do margarita or it's red wine. Okay. Keep it easy. That's better than what it could be. I thought you might be champagne only. Okay. Don't talk to me from June to September. Champagne. Champagne with a lot of ice. I'm talking Big Gulf ice. The most expensive champagne with the most basic ice is all I want to drink. I'm sorry. That's a nasty bitch move. I kind of like it, honestly. So good. You're saying, you're saying, you're saying you're, okay, so you're hitting 7-Eleven, filling up the cup, and then pouring the Dom in. You got the 32 on the Yeti Tumblr, and you're opening a 2003 Domaine Saint-Jouy. Yep. Big curly straw. Nothing better than champagne on ice. Nothing.

This is something I have never heard. Well, when they say champagne on ice, that means the bottle's in ice, not the actual champagne. And you said, no, no, no, no, a step further. Pouring it over ice. They do it a lot in France. It's called champagne a la piscine. It's the best drink, and you can have nine of them. No problem. Okay. So that's the only way you can get ice in France is if you ask me. Yeah, exactly. Amen. It's like you're giving me one cue, but yeah, I can't do rosé. Rosé is a giant headache for me. White wine is tough, but champagne I can do on ice. Okay, so you discovered this champagne on ice. You discovered this in France. I did. Saint-Tropez. Oh, okay. Okay, well, speaking of holiday season and getting fat. Yes. What's the, so like whenever, like between Christmas and New Year's, I gained 10 pounds and just cookies and shit like that. It's just inevitable. And once you get older, you kind of make peace with it. It's just going to happen and it's better for your mental health. But what are you doing? Like, is there, like when you go to the goop holiday party or the whatever holiday party? Like what are you doing to kind of maintain everything and not maybe – I'm not saying you would embarrass yourself. Of course not. Of course not. There is a history. There is a history. There is. I eat before. Oh, okay. This is a G move. So you have your filling salad before you hit the event. Yep, or it's like a protein. I don't do like a little milk. You have your Urban Remedy Bowl in the car on the way over? Correct. If you go to an event or even dinner hungry – It's stressful. You can't enjoy yourself. What are your top three Beverly Hills salads? If you had to kind of break it down for us. Can I tell you, it was really depressing. I just went to La Scala. You know, I loved a half salami chop from La Scala. I went three weeks ago. It was, it was not edible. It was everything around. Like it was the worst. It was so bad. And I hate to say that. I don't like a McCarthy salad. That shit is disgusting. I'm not familiar with a McCarthy salad. Could you explain that? At the Beverly Hills hotel, it's like bunny food. Everyone's like, I am McCarthy. I'm like, it's disgusting.

It's awful. It's like chopped up lettuce, chopped up bacon for like 50 bucks. Awful. Okay. So to me, I'm not a huge salad person. But are you eating lunch? Are we fasting until the sensible dinner? No. Are you more of a ribeye, broccolini, spicy margarita girl? Ah. This is an audio podcast. You can't just do the hand. You got to say stuff. I am all about. like i'm a meat and potatoes person that's what's happening chicken like all of that stuff sushi i like i can't do and no i'm not fasting anymore the fasting doesn't work i used to be like one meal a day morgan now it's like eating every few hours consistently that's how you stay skinny you think that's the trainer is the trainer telling you this or is this i saw a nutritionist okay and he told me what to eat and he told me when he took my blood that this quote unquote, anorexic game. I'm playing with the, with the lot of sugar at night isn't working for me. So I then, he said, you need to have something called eggs and a side of fruit. And then for lunch, I said, lunch. I haven't had lunch since 2003. And he said, you're going to have some chicken or you're going to have a spicy tuna cut roll with a side of sashimi. And, or you can have mashed potatoes or rice with the chicken. I said, mashed potatoes and rice. You're fucking out of your mind. And then I did it for two weeks, and the eight pounds I had to lose that I couldn't get off were gone. Wow. That's impressive. Evaporated. And I'm telling you, I didn't eat for two weeks. I just had salmon and spinach for dinner. I could not lose an ounce. That one fucking ounce. And then I did this eating plan. No problem. Gone. Wow. That's good to know. So the mashed potato diet works for you, not for everyone, but for you. I'm telling you, this guy knows what he's talking about. If you follow exactly what I did for two weeks, it's normal food. You'd eat more because you're a man. But it will – you keep the weight off. Yeah, because when I did Saqqara Life, it was – let me tell you something. I'm too big for that. Like I can't – I was literally – I thought my mom – because it was during COVID. I was at my parents' house. My mom was like, you look like you're going to pass out. And I'm like, yeah, I know. It's because I had a sensible –

you know, lunch, dinner, and breakfast that are, I mean, it's tiny. The portion is crazy. You need to be eating more. No, you need, I'm telling you. I know, but I want it to feel hot, you know, and they offered to send me three days for free. What am I supposed to do, Morgan? What the fuck do you want me to do? Say no? By the way, do you need more days? I feel like they've been hitting me up for years. I should do that. Is the food yummy? That's the thing. I mean, it's like obviously vegan and the whole thing. It tastes pretty good, but it's just not enough. It's just not enough. It's just not enough. I know. I can't emote just with no sound. The vegan, I can't do the vegan. The vegan is not for me. And apparently I can't do AirPods either because I keep fucking falling out. That's because you're gesticulating so much. They're customized. That's why. They don't stay in because of the aftermarket additions. It's ridiculous. But yeah, no. The vegan for me, I don't want any substitutes. None of that shit. Okay. I think you're on. I mean, I think that's kind of the new wave, especially for women. I think. Because all trainers are also telling women now to lift weights, which is going to make you hungrier, which facilitates eating that way. And that's why you get really hungry, then you eat some raw beef liver, and then repeat after. You're good. Next thing you know, you're looking like Emrata. There you go. Oh, is Emrata number one? Her mom has abs like that. Her mom literally has abs, and she's like, whatever, 65. Oh, so it's generational hotness. It's generational hotness. My mom is beautiful, unfortunately. I'm in LA6, so I don't know what happened there. But the abs I work on, and that's something that I kind of do for myself. So you guys are saying that being a Nepo baby not only translates from career and financial, but also for physical body and attributes and things like that? Depends. People that have really insane bodies, most of the time, I would say it's half genetic, if not more. It is genetic. You can't. There's only so much you can do. There's only so much you can do. It's not because your dad was a producer. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly, yeah. Look, my dad, okay, he worked on Friends, but that has nothing to do with my biceps. That's two different things. Yeah. That's two different things. Totally different things. He was a line producer. He wasn't even executive. Going back to the Goop holiday party, when I said those words, you did emote in a silent way. Is that something that has happened recently? Does Goop have a holiday party that you could get invited to? I went to. I did go to.

paltrow's house two weeks ago okay what is your relationship to my queen my queen by the way i can't even handle it okay well it's the people's queen um She, I have a zero relationship with her. It was G. Okay. All right. Zero. I said, hi, she said, hi, I'm Gwyneth. And I like squirmed and like, didn't like wink. I don't know what I, it was weird. Okay. But she, uh, G label had a party at her house, which is the party was actually in her barn behind her home. We can't let, we can't let the riffraff into the actual house. I mean, that's absolutely not. So there was like a whole like stylized actual barn made, which was gorgeous. Um, could have had its own AD spread. And, um, I went because they sent, they invited me as from the brand and that was it. Okay. Okay. So did you build with any other high level talent or was, or did you kind of keep to yourself? I, you know what? I'm always very socially off cause those, everyone there, I know very clearly, like I got invited because the brand wanted some kind of awareness and the people that go to these things sometimes I'm like. She doesn't know who the fuck you are. You don't need to take this. Definitely not. You don't need to take this so seriously. Like, you're not her girlfriend because you're in her back house, okay? Like, we're not having an intimate dinner at Hotel Post. You had to sign an NDA to come here. You guys aren't that close. And you just walk in and what I can't stand is just the fakery fuckery of like, oh, hi, like, you know who I am. You stalked me on social media. You probably bought the shoes I bought. Like, let's just at least connect on somewhat or let's try to connect on some human level where we can just like... I love your stuff. How are you? Good. Everyone just gets so up nose. And I'm like, who are you in that? Like, calm down. We're, we're in the presence of greatness. Let's all respect. Let's respect this. Exactly. So I, there was time. The band was there. That was cool. They're cool girls. I said, not one word to them. I'm the band is cool. I'm the band was there. Who else? Jennifer Meyer was there. Who's a lovely. Okay. Classic, classic LA. I love, love Jen Meyer. I mean, who else was there? A bunch of influencer girls that are really sweet. Do you guys know who Rocky Barnes is? Yes. She was there. I always love to see her at events because she's the only human that I know that like, we can at least, you know, have a nice time. You can, you can actually chat, chit chat. She's a, she's appeared on my explore page. There was definitely a lot of,

was there oh kelly sawyer was there baby to baby that kind of vibe okay this is okay so is it was it ladies only was brad there brad was not there it was ladies only i guess now that i'm thinking about it okay so okay i just because i you know i didn't expect an invite but this makes me feel better knowing that it was kind of if it's ladies only then who's going to take the photos of everyone great point he was a man okay okay so they did bfa did send a fella lucky guy lucky guy i would say he was there And there was a woman there. And there was also the naughty Santa was a man. What do you mean by naughty Santa? Was he dick out? I think he gave vibrators out. I didn't make it. Okay, okay. So it was a classic goop, high-low. Gwyneth Paltrow combo. She's sex positive, bro. Get with the program. She really is. I mean, I'd like to find out. She's fantastic. I would also like to find out. Gwyneth is my number. Gwyneth is top three. It's Sienna Miller, Gwyneth Paltrow, Sofia Coppola. Wow. Very nice. And all very different but then similar in a way. There's a through line to my twisted thinking. There is a through line there. But that's – Gwyneth, it's all about – they evoke such a glamour that I am – They all transport me. I find it enchanting. And I think – It feels old world. It does. For me, Gwyneth, I wish I caught Gwyneth on a 1997 night where there was cigarettes and booze. Morgan, as we're wrapping up, certain guests that we have on who are more on the fun side, like yourself, we like to ask them a recurring question. Top three prescription pills of all time. Xanax? Xanax? See, I'm so boring. I don't do a Zoloft. I don't do an antidepressant, anti-anxiety, which is nuts. Every week I'm like, is it time? Oh, Xanax is anti-anxiety. Oh, yeah, but I only get that when I get my lips done so I don't feel like I'm going blind. Or when I'm on an airplane. I only take Xanax when I'm getting my lips done so I don't feel blind. I'm just a regular average Joe, just like everyone. Okay, I'm in the same boat. So it's Dylon, Dylon, Dylon, Xanax, Xanax.

It's just a good old-fashioned Xanax once in a while. I'm the breaker and halfer Xanax person. I can't be chewed out of it, so I take a little bit. You are a public persona. You could run into a paparazzi at the Indianapolis airport. I would pay. Can someone send me a paparazzi number? Somebody needs to take my phone. It's really fallen off, and I'm like, hello? I am like... I should be. All of that's about to change after your episode of how long. Yeah, I don't think you. Yeah, this is this is I know you did call her daddy, but this is kind of like a bigger. You might want to have your home security in the next. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, I would hire at least one private guy for the front door just for the week after. I know you know who to call. Like, I know you know who to call. You're connected. Just not a paparazzi. Yeah, you don't know any single paparazzi with security you got handled. Or it got to the point quickly that when I saw paparazzi outside of restaurants, they'd be like, hey, how are you? And I'd be like, good. But like, what the fuck are you doing? Take my photo. No, it's just I'm a nice person. They just say hi to me and I just walk on in. So you ate at Giorgio Baldi and you left and they didn't take your picture or or no. The last time I was there, they took my photo. But then where the fuck is that photo? I'm like, at least text it so I can use it. OK, so yeah, you want to like I'll read. I know it's sitting on a hard drive somewhere. I could use that photo for my fucking Instagram grid. Thank you. Yeah. Help me out, fellas. Yeah, I'm happy to pay at this point. We've been told. So we've been told that that. Alex from Call Her Daddy listens to How Long Gone and enjoys How Long Gone. Okay. And Jason and I have both reached out to her and asked her to come on the show. She hasn't opened our messages, so hopefully maybe this, like you're the connection that we finally need. Listen, you scratch, I scratch your back with her and you scratch mine with Maddie Healy. This is a win-win. This is great. This is great. We can really help each other. This is my kind of human trafficking, guys. Exactly. I will say shout out to Alex.

from Call Her Daddy because she is legitimately the coolest girl. She's a pro. No, it's all very, very impressive. I think it's time for these two podcast titans to kind of clash on the mic. You know what I mean? I got you. I got you. I'll put in a word. And next time Maddie's here, we can go for raw liver anytime. I mean, we can, you know, anytime. Whatever it takes. Are you prepared to smoke cigarettes, Morgan? I love cigarettes. Okay, great. All right, Morgan Stewart, thank you for joining us on How Long Gone. Merry Christmas. Enjoy Aspen. And we'll see you soon. Yes, thank you guys so much. Our pleasure. Thank you. It was a blast.