345. - Chris & Jason

All right, this episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Stateside with Kai and Carter, a new podcast from The Guardian. And they are using this podcast to slow down the news and wrestle with the questions that we all have about what's happening in the world. And they do it three times a week, Jason. Does that sound familiar to you? We don't really talk about, you know, a lot of international global news items and climates and cultures and sports and things like that. We do talk about fashion and wellness, but for everything else, Kai and Carter are a great place. All right, so who couldn't use more news? Listen wherever you get your podcasts. or watch on YouTube. The future will be great, but today is just as incredible. It's time for you guys to meet Nissan's most advanced lineup. If you can't get enough adrenaline, there's the all-new 400 HP Nissan Z. Or for your off-road adventures, check out the all-terrain Nissan Frontier. If you're a spontaneous road tripper, hop in the Nissan Pathfinder. And for something more electric, there is of course the stylish Nissan Aria. So, let's enjoy the ride. 2023 RENZ not available for purchase. Expanded availability this spring for 2023 Z and this fall for 2023 RENZ. The speed that you read that ad, it's like the 10,000 hours type shit. By the time we're done promoting the wonderful Nissan automobile line, you are going to be as good. If not the best at reading commercials fast. Great. Well, I'm glad I'm improving at something. You know, it's always nice to put one foot in front of the other. One day at a time, as they say, you know. As if one was walking down the... catwalk or the new york stock exchange you know the lines have been blurred if you ask me i can't tell where money starts and fashion begins oh okay okay that's a that's a start what else you got that's it that's all i got for the bof headline that's good but it's not you know no no no it's not print good i'm feeling a little cooked jason because it's so hot outside it's really sucking the life out of me okay so today you are in new york i'm in los angeles

So we are not recording live and uncut. It's not live and uncut. But that's good. I think that'll be it for the best. Do you? Why do you think that? I think because we're both in a state. That's true. You know? And I don't want to be a lazy potter. I pushed myself too hard when I got here. I want to know, because when I think, you know, going out, traveling, partying, whatever, and you push yourself too hard. To me, the brain goes to drug and alcohol abuse, but this is just regular, you tired. Life abuse, yeah. You're just old? Well, I woke up at 4 a.m. to go to the airport. 4.30, 4.30. No, I woke up at 4 and was picked up at 4.30. What time was your flight, though? Six. Freak show. Because you had to because Balenciaga had a show very early, so you had to. I had no choice, but I reached a personal milestone on this flight that I would like to tell you and the listeners all about, Jason. I woke up early and chose not to have any coffee. I was like, you know what? I'm really going to try to sleep. I only got four hours last night because we had Al's birthday party the night before. I'm like, I need to get some sleep. That's impressive. I need to get some sleep. That's impressive. I thugged it out. Oh, and I get on the plane. Guess what, Jason? It's an old plane. So I'm a little bit like, damn, this Delta 1 ain't hitting properly. So you did have Delta 1. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I had Delta 1. But the old one, it just doesn't hit the same. It's not the same. It's not great. So I get it. I'm like, all right, I'm still going to try to do it. I'm still going to try to do it. I woke up, 45 minutes left in the flight. Wow. First time in my entire adult life I've ever been able to sleep on a plane. To that extent. So how long before wheels up did you fall asleep? Well, you can't recline the bed until wheels are up. So I didn't. I literally slept. I think the flight was five hours. And I slept for four hours and 15 minutes. Damn, bro. I mean, the hundreds of flights I've been on in my life, I've probably done that like two or three times. And every time you do it, I feel like I'll remember that moment more than the birth of my first child. Yeah, yeah.

I felt so energized for the last 45 minutes of the flight. I just blazed through a 5,000-word article about Jack Antonoff from The New Yorker. Oh, my God. Didn't even turn on the TV once. I was living my best life. But, yeah, it really was. It's invigorating in a way that I didn't think I was capable of this. I really didn't think it was possible. Why did you choose to? Fumble that in the 11th hour and read a Jack Antonov article. Oh, no, I've been holding on to this article for a print read. For a rainy day? Well, I had wanted to read it. Treating it like me and this Cat Williams special. I just haven't found the right time yet. I was holding it, and then I found the right time. And it is exactly what I thought it would be. Was it a hate read? No, it wasn't a hate read because I was like, maybe there will be some interesting insights into his process or his personality that will make me understand his appeal. And it was exactly the opposite of that. So you set up your little folding chair and you said, change my mind, New Yorker. And they tried and they didn't. And they didn't. Well, it's just like, I love music. There's just nothing about like, it's a lot about bleachers, which is like a non-issue. Like no one gives a shit about bleachers. Like I don't care that he does a festival in New Jersey for 3,000 people where he recreated his childhood bedroom for people to go in. It's like Johnny Depp keeps bringing up the Hollywood undead. Yeah, exactly. It was cool that 18 months you had a band with Alice Cooper. Yeah, it ain't Pirates of the Caribbean, Chief. But yeah, Antonov, and much like Johnny, Antonov thinks that... Bleacher's is Taylor Swift, and he's sadly mistaken. But yeah, no, it's just nothing happens in it. There's no insight. I mean, there's a little bit about his songwriting process or whatever, but it's like everybody else's. People come into the room, and then they just talk to each other for a little while. And then somebody picks up an instrument, and it might be just a guitar. It might just be a keyboard. And then someone starts humming under their breath.

It's like, yeah, that's how literally every song in history has been written. That's exactly how songs are written. Whether you're with the biggest songwriter in the world or you're a band in high school, that's how songs are written. I don't understand how that's revolutionary. Well, I mean, thank God that all this stuff is bad. Thank God all these interviews with musicians are bad because that means that it's better for us. Because I used to complain all the time of like, this is just the same bullshit every time. Even Letterman interviewing Billie Eilish for his Netflix show is just kind of like, yeah, sometimes a song will just start with a simple drum line, and from there we'll add a piano to it. And Dave's like, oh, wow, this sounds amazing. When the song is ready. Then we'll add like vocals. And those are like when you put words. That is it. That's literally what this was. I'm like, okay. And it goes on about bleachers. It does talk about him dating one hot chick and then now dating a new hot chick. So I guess that makes him look good. Yeah. Well, thankfully, all these people don't want to ask them about. what their favorite pills are and stuff like that. So we still have a reason. Yeah, we still got a job. I might be. I was told yesterday, actually, that I might be having an encounter with Antonoff in the in my near future. So I'm going to ask him about his pills and just kind of jot it down and then let you know just so we have that. I'm assuming is this is this planned interaction? Is this like a do moi thing? Like you heard rumblings. He's going to. Hit you with a lead pipe in the leg? No, I heard he was going to be in line at Prince Free Pizza this afternoon, so I was told just to roll up on him, kind of. Ask him where Claro is. Save Claro. I'm just going to be screaming, save Claro. Where's Claro? The Claro Conservatory? Yeah, I'm going to try to save Claro from Jack Antonoff after reading that article. Let's just hope Jack doesn't appear on Sky Ferreira's new record. I mean, look, my fingers are crossed, but the motherfucker is everywhere, bro. He's like fentanyl. No, he's like fentanyl. There's a little bit everywhere. He did say that he knows that he won't be on top forever, which I liked. That he knows that he is one day going to fall and there will be people celebrating that fall. Oh, okay.

So he's got a better perspective than I thought before. So I landed. I felt great. And it took an hour and 45 minutes to get to the city. It's hot as hell outside. Of course the cab driver's got the windows down. I'm like, bro, the windows down shit don't work when we're in standstill traffic. There's no breeze. Let's get your cheap. I'm paying for this ride. Let's put the windows up. Let's get the AC on. You didn't even spring for the water ice or anything? No. So I get home, and I'm feeling good still. I'm like, all right, let me go for a run. You know what I mean? Let me go for a run. I need to kind of reset. And it was just absolutely fucking brutal. So it was like 90 degrees out there? Easily 90 degrees. The streets were absolutely packed. It was chaos. And I felt good for about half of it. And the last half I was just, I was trudging. I haven't sweat like that in a while. My little molly ass was teeth chattering yesterday in Los Angeles at the festival. I was DJing, and I was wearing pants for God's sakes. I was cold as fuck. No, it's an unseasonably warm July, May right now in the Big Apple, but I was able to finish the run successfully and then do a patented... I learned this from my dad. You kind of lay a towel down on the floor, and you just kind of lay there for about an hour. So you can stop sweating before you take a shower because you'll just keep sweating through the shower. Yeah, that's a move that I do out of the sauna all the time. And it's very relaxing to just lay on like a hard floor, you know? Oh, it feels great. So I got one of my CB monogram towels, a gift from Dear Dana. Kind of put that on the hardwood. And, you know, I just started breathing through my nose and out through my mouth. Namaste. I just think it's funny that you would travel to New York this weekend. With monkeypox being so unpredictable right now over there. I could have gotten monkeypox from any low-level editor at Vogue this morning. I don't know. Well, I heard recently that it spreads through sexually transmitted. So I guess I assume that you'd be fine. We'll skip ahead. This morning was the Balenciaga show at the New York Stock Exchange.

There were a lot of celebrities in attendance. And I went to Dior last week in L.A. Not quite as many celebrities. I've got to be honest with you. I was a little disappointed. No shit. Berna Boy and the hot guy from Emily in Paris ain't comparing to Kanye, Offset, Megan Thee Stallion. Newly married, Chloe Sevigny in the building. Extreme amounts of How Long Gone alumni, of course. We had the entire GQ staff. I mean, Rachel was there. Steph Yatko was there. Liana was there. Mel Ottenberg was there. Daniel Arnold's in the building. Okay. I mean, I could go on. Were there anybody there where you're like, hmm, how'd you get in here? Oh, yeah. Like 40 people that are Balenciaga's best customers that look the absolute craziest. They look crazier than anybody. They look crazier than Kanye West wearing a leather jacket and a hooded sweatshirt when it's 100 degrees outside. He's sweating it out. Okay. Yeah, I'm sad. I'm sad that I wasn't able to go due to my DJ schedule, but... I know. You were missed. People ask. Actually, I finally got to link with friend of the show, Brian Boy. Oh, really? Who is obviously wearing an insane outfit topped off by a gold fitted hat with a money sign on it. Rachel was like, what's up with that hat? He's like, it's from Amazon. And then he also showed me that he was wearing other Amazon garments but was also carrying a $30,000 Hermes bag to kind of high-low that bitch. I like Brian, man. I like that he does a little Amazon hat. He did ask about you. And he also was like – because the stock exchange is – it's his – And Brian's husband is a finance guy. And he was like, this isn't what it looks like. He just has four monitors and a keyboard. I'm like, do you ever know what's going on? He's like, no, I just spend the money. I was like, all right, well, I appreciate that. And I feel like it's true. I feel like it's not even a character. I feel like it's 100% true. So it was good. He's really living it. He's really living it. So yeah, it was good to see him. Dean Kissick, of course, in the building as well. Fashions. Dean Kissick was in the building. There was like a Balenciaga Adidas kind of... Was that the undertone going on? Well, there was a... I mean, they did like, you know...

80 pieces of their regular collection, which had some cool suits, some nice alligator briefcases. There were some other things that are on my little wish list. But then it went into the more TJ section of the Adidas Balenciaga collaboration. And there were, I picked out a few items for you, actually. I don't think you did. I don't think you could afford it, Chris. I can afford it. And there's a nice pair of Adidas Balenciaga jorts. That I feel like you could pull off. Well, of course I could pull it off. But do I want to is the question. We'll see. I mean, look, it's up to you. Just send it over to the house, Chris. Send it over to the house. We'll take a look at it. I'll have them send it. But, yeah, it was a nice morning over at the Stock Exchange. And I walked home to do this podcast and looked like I got out of a fucking shower when I got back. So I'm feeling a little burnt out. But I didn't do Molly yesterday and DJ for a field of revelers. So I'm still – I must. A field of revelers. Them jeans fans. I mean, the droves and droves of them jeans fans that drove to beautiful Pasadena for an overcast music festival. The king of indie sleaze, them jeans. Let's get a full recap. Who was there? Who wasn't there? Well, first of all, I don't like the photo that you posted of me. DJing during soundcheck when they hadn't opened the doors yet. It has hundreds and hundreds. Well, my favorite response. And hundreds of likes on there, so everyone assumes that I was DJing to no audience. My favorite was somebody said, it's giving MAGA rally. Yeah, I'm like, come on. I mean, yes, it is giving MAGA rally, but to quote Trump, it was fake news. This photo was taken during soundcheck. Exactly. No, no, I know your inauguration was huge. Oh, this is huge for me personally. This episode of How I'm Gone is brought to you by TaskRabbit. Oh, baby, let me tell you something. This is not a joke. I use TaskRabbit a lot because I can't do anything. You need some art hung? TaskRabbit. You need something put together? A cabinet? Got to reach that cheese grater on the top shelf? TaskRabbit. Anything you need, TaskRabbit can take care of it for you.

How it works, TaskRabbit connects you with skilled taskers in your area. They can help you move. They can assemble furniture, repairs, yard work, mounting, and more. You can search for a tasker based on cost, skill set, availability, and past client reviews so you know exactly who's showing up and can have confidence that they know what they're doing because taskers have assembled over 3.4 million pieces of furniture, completed 700,000 home repairs. handled 1.5 million moves, and the numbers are just going up, Jason. Yeah, throw a little money at the problem. It's not so expensive, and that job that you really don't want to do is something that another person out in the world is very good at doing and would gladly do it in exchange for a little bit of money. So when life happens, your to-do list grows. Get ahead of it now and get $15 off your first task at TaskRabbit.com or grab the TaskRabbit app using promo code How long taskers book up faster, especially for same-day tasks. So book trusted home help today. That is $15 off your first task using promo code howlong with the TaskRabbit app or at TaskRabbit.com. All right, this episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Quince. Jason, the temps are warming up. It's getting hot out there. Summer always changes how I get dressed. I need pieces that feel lighter, more breathable. And they're just easy but, you know, still put together. I don't want to look like a slob. That's why I keep coming back to Quince. You know, they focus on high-quality essentials that feel and look amazing. Breathable linen and soft organic cottons. Well-made basics but without the luxury markups. That rare balance where everything feels elevated. but still effortless. Yeah, Chris, linen season is here. I wore a linen blazer to dinner a few nights ago in the warm California sun. But, you know, you got that Italy trip coming up this summer and quality European linen pants and shirts. Upgrade that look starting at just $34. You know, if you get a nice linen suit, a little t-shirt underneath it, some chill shoes, you're looking good, but you're staying cool. The inside of your special areas are nice and dry as you turn up with your besties. So elevate that summer wardrobe. Go to quince.com slash how long for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns, even on a nice holiday now available in Canada.

That is Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash how long. That'll get you free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince punto com slash how long. This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by a new podcast from The Guardian stateside with Kai and Carter. This is covering a lot of our bases, Jason. It's trying to slow down. The news and wrestle with the questions we all have about what's happening in the world. And I know you particularly have quite a lot of questions. A lot of questions. But how often? Because we do this podcast three times a week and that's a sweet spot. How many times do they do? Three times a week. And I have a feeling just based on the platform and these talking points that they're maybe going to be covering different stuff than we do. That's just a guess. The Guardian is not some billionaire owned. They're not afraid to say what they want to say, brother. Yeah, Rupert ain't sniffing around in what journalists Kai Wright and Carter Sherman are up to over there at Stateside. But yeah, listen wherever you get your podcasts. You can watch it on YouTube. It's three times a week. And who couldn't use more news? Especially when it's not from here, let's say. Give it a listen. Give it a listen. People did love that photo, but I had to post it because Carolyn sent it to me because I liked the duality of, you know, your face huge, but also the huge logo. You know what I mean? I don't know if I would have caught that during the set. So what did you? Yeah. So for the valet set from noon to 1230, what did you, what kind of zone? Don't call it the valet set. What kind of zone? God damn it. What kind of zone were you in for the ballet set? It was a bad zone. It was a bad zone. No, I mean like... I was DJing from 12 till 12.30 on the main stage. So, you know, that's just kind of like... So, hold on. Who's directly after you? Who has to play at 12.30? Directly after me is a band called The Cribs. Oh, okay. British. No, no. They were pretty big. Yeah, they're pretty... You have beef with them. Yeah, well, you know, there was a... The stage was on a rotating turntable. Yeah, that's... Oh, so you're familiar. So it was on a Techniques. That's cool.

You weren't the first person to make a cool turntable joke to the one DJ playing on that stage. Stage on 1200, continue. Yeah, all the fucking local 300, 790 made a lot of those jokes too, Chris. Do better. Yeah, so the stage is a rotating turntable, so one band finishes, the stage rotates, and the next band plays. So it's kind of like, you know, between the two stages, there's never a moment without music. ready to play at 12, and they were kind of like, the Cribs were having some soundcheck issues, and they were feeling rushed. They were feeling rushed. They play, if I'm, they play like ramshackle British guitar music. That's right. No, they actually sounded, they actually sounded great, but yeah. They're good. But it's a three-piece band, drums, bass, guitar. You know, I think they were just kind of like, well, if this fucking tall, dumbass DJ wasn't sitting here. ready to chuck on, then I would have a... They wanted someone to blame for... Did you have to pour a pint on one of their heads or did it end peacefully? No, I just stood there because I had to stand there and watch them kind of argue amongst themselves and with the monitor tech guys a little bit. It wasn't a real serious thing, but it was just kind of like a... Yeah, we'll just figure it out when we get going. And they were a little uneasy about that. And they wanted somebody to blame. And that person was a little bit mean. Because I was filming them while they were doing this. Like, this is cool, man. We're on a stage. And I was taking pictures of them while there was a giant Interpol logo behind them. Like, this is funny. And they're like, it's not funny. Damn. For some reason, the good people at Golden Voice, instead of using a logo of mine from the internet, they found a logo. That was an unauthorized logo created without permission by Outdoor Voices. So hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. So when Outdoor Voices had the recreationalists, their content arm. Yes, it was their editorial wing. So someone from the editorial wing took it upon themselves to create a Them Jeans logo.

uh lock up and then use that in the piece and you're telling me that the good people at golden voice went online ripped that from the internet and then blew it up uh stadium size to sit next to your peanut head while you dj yesterday that is exactly true and i and i had no idea that any of this was happening until i was on stage djing can i ask you one other quick follow-up question How is that artwork high enough resolution to work? It was a 400 pixel, 72 DPI, you know, internet image. You know, it was maybe like 500 by 500 res. And it was on an LED projection screen, you know. Twice the size of whatever is going on at Crypto.com Arena. It was just... So it's so... It couldn't be a more... It was so pixelated that it became... It doesn't matter. It's good. Exactly. Okay, that's... Yeah, it almost... It was so pixelated that it appeared that that was the intended plan for it. I see. It was a true indie sleaze. troll kind of like it was like a it was it was like a it was like a data mining pixel shift like fucked up that's cool that's like internet art kind of feel yeah that's what was happening at balenciaga this morning too they had all the screens glitching during during the show yeah yeah okay so same kind of vibe so but also they wanted to make sure that The recreationalist logo from Outdoor Voices was still on my logo as well. That is very, very weird. And I would like to find the person who did that and ask them questions. Not in an aggressive manner, of course. But just to understand. Let's wait until the check clears before we start going. I think it's more a testament to Outdoor Voices' strong SEO and them jeans lack of SEO. And that's something we could tackle together. I know. I mean, that's just how these things always go. It's just there's always. No, you're right. There are a thousand photos of you and I on the Internet, and each one is as easy to find as the other ones. None of them are more difficult to access than any other photos.

And they always use the absolute worst photo or logo or whatever it is. It's just the rule of the internet of how it goes. Unfortunately, I feel like as management, I kind of slacked here on not sending them the appropriate press materials beforehand. So I'll take the L on that. You can give me 15%. No call, no show. You had to go to Balenciaga. You can give me 15% instead of 20 on this one. It's no big deal, Chief. Yeah, I'll give you 15% of my drink tokens. Thank you, thank you. So from 12 to 12.30, the crib. Tibbs are side-eyeing you while they sip on their Stellas and kind of adjust their beetle boots. And you're on the one. First of all, how many CDJs? You better have had four CDJs. I had 11 CDJs going. I didn't use all of them at the same time, but I just kind of needed to know that they were there. You had three super soakers, two birthday cakes, 11 CDJs at noon, and you're playing. What kind of stuff are you playing? Like, are we playing house? Like, what is the mood at noon? Yeah, I was playing kind of like slower, chill music because it was like right when the doors were opening. So it's like 105 to 115 BPM kind of range. Oh, I love when you get into your BPM bag. Thank you for that. Getting the thing started. No, we're not blasting bloody beat roots over people's heads. We're not doing any stage diving music. There's no... Day and night remix is in sight. Oh, no. Oh, day and night remix can't come out till the sunset. I'll lose my fucking mind when that comes on. Oh, boy. You know, a half an hour DJ set, it's over before it begins. There's nothing that can really happen. But you returned to the decks, just different decks, later in the day. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then there was a separate DJ area. The center space tent. It was actually the beauty bar lounge where they recreated. The decor of the beauty bar. Unclear if it was authorized or not. No one wants the decor of the beauty bar, original or recreated. Oh, I can smell it. That's disgusting. So there's some pink walls. They set up some mirrors. Hold on. I bet they did. Was it the L.A. location, the Vegas location, the New York location? Just a general hodgepodge. As if you could tell the difference.

As if each location had a unique decor. I'm sure they had different architects and designers work on the properties, Jason, but I guess we can't be sure. No, you go to the local swap meet, you buy five chairs that would be in a salon in the 60s, and you put those in. You get some old bottles that used to have Barbicide in them. A couple hair dryers from 1963. So what you're saying is the beauty bar set that you were DJing on was a photo op, kind of an Instagrammable moment. It was the idea. Leave it to the good people at Golden Voice to create a DJ area that is not only a dance floor, but it's also an interactive experience that you could share as... social media content as well are you saying the decor was so photogenic or you're saying there were other interactive i'm just saying it wasn't it wasn't a a club it was an experience it was you you're transported mentally physically Okay. To a new place, a time when things were a little bit simpler, you know what I mean? So did your style of music change when you hit the beauty bar decks? A little bit, yeah, a little bit, no. I was definitely, you know when you hear somebody say like you never, like nothing gets you more motivated than like a bad set? I guess maybe like comedians will say that or like bands or singers will say that. If you have a bad set, it's kind of eye-opening. I didn't have a bad set. It was good, but I had so many things about DJing that you forget. It is like riding a bike. I can mix music, and I haven't DJed in a long time, and it's still fine, but all the other little parts about it that you kind of forget of blowing your load too fast. Kind of the art form of DJing. Yeah, just all the stuff that... you don't really know about until you've really held your feet to the fire, as they say. So you can do all the planning in the world and get it all ready to go and build the perfect playlist, but if the crowd is like, yeah, we don't want your fucking dumbass playlist, and you have to pivot, that's kind of where you separate the good from the great. I didn't blow my load too early, but I did it not.

I kind of beat them over the head with banger after banger. Oh, I see. It was sublime. You took them to the heavy bag and said, we're not leaving until you're bloody. I came out of the gate really strong, but I gassed myself out, unfortunately. The only question I have is, what drugs were you on? And did they contribute to your... DJ set mishap. There was no mishap. I just had to kind of scramble. The fans couldn't notice. Nobody could tell. Not even the greats in the house. Cool as a cucumber, yeah. The greats in the house. Cobra Snake's seen you DJ badly so many times, he wouldn't even know what hit him. Yeah, cut copy was none the wiser. You kind of have to be like, oh yeah, get a little more creative with stretching it out. You make it work. And that was good. I made sure to not... get you inhibited before, and I wanted to wait until afterwards, which I did. I did get a... I was pretty drunk by the time I finished DJing, which is... What kind of hard seltzers were you sipping on? There was no... My rider was a bottle of tequila and some Perrier's, some cold brewskis, and that was it. Oh, I forgot you had a little... You had a TJ motorhome. What's it called? Starwagon. Oh, yeah, Starwagon. I had a star wagon. So you had some carrots and some tequila in there, and it was just you and the old bros? Yeah, I was putting the oats and honeys down. I got crumbs all over that fucking star coach. How many people did you have to talk to that you never thought you would see again, and you thought maybe they were dead? That was the main thing I was worried about. I was telling Carolyn about that on the way there. I don't necessarily have... anxiety about about having to run into old people that I hadn't seen because we were talking about that with coachella like when you i mean you're a pro i've never seen anyone do it the way you can it's honestly you're you're a it's unbelievable it's like watching a ballet if you could get paid for being good at stopping chats i wouldn't be talking to you fucking broke hoes let's just say that well not not just stopping chats jason because i'm i also pride myself on being quite good at some chat yeah stopping chats with people you have no interest in talking to or you don't remember who they are that's kind of your sweet spot stopping chats with people whom i have no clue who they are but it's unbelievable i've seen it i can tell

telling your face you're like i got nothing uh but luckily luckily the recipient of the chat can't tell that and is able to think that you love them and we're happy to see them sometimes they can tell and they'll call me out on it but uh but in that situation you know who's the joke on is what i always like to say exactly yeah if yeah now if you're calling me out you're already a loser you don't remember me do you no Oh, you got uglier. Yeah, I forgot. So there were a lot of positive old run-ins and stop-in chats. Like, wow, I'm actually very excited to see you. I ran into Switch, the ex-Major Laser. What does he do now? I think he still produces music. No, he's like one of the most legendary dudes of all time. Like, so fucking funny. He's just like a straight up, you know, he's like a Liam Gallagher kind of guy. What was he doing there? He was just fucking about, yeah. He moved to Sierra Madre, which is like a kind of woodsy neighborhood near Pasadena. And I was like, oh, okay, that's a cute neighborhood. It's kind of nice. And he was showing me, he was like, yeah, I've got these, it's like bears in his backyard because he lives like near the wilderness. So he's like, oh, he's going to show me a video of like a bear sighting in his backyard. You've probably seen it on the news or something before. He pulls out his phone and first of all, he has like a pool. With multiple waterfalls. It looks like fucking Beyonce's house. And there are three full-size grizzly bears taking a bath in his waterfall, in his pool. And I'm like, bro, first of all, congrats on being fucking guapped up like this. It's an expensive neighborhood to live in. He must have had some sunset publishing, unfortunately, for Wes. Yeah, so the catalog, yeah. My publishing's all gone. You're saying there's three full-size bears in his pool. Three full-size grizzly bears, and it was almost like a cartoon. One of them had one of those sponges with a stick, and they were kind of hitting the back, and they're rolling around having a gas, and we were like... They're all soaked up. Yeah, and we're like, what do you do? This is a cool video, but also like...

Does that mean that, like, bears have taken over your home and you are sort of just at their mercy? You have this beautiful, you know, palatial forest estate, but you can't even go in the backyard? Squatter's rights case to me. It's a squatter's thing. And he said he basically has, like, an understanding with them, with the bears, and he kind of just shoes them. He just has to be like, all right, off you go. Like, turn the hose on, and they'll just run away. I'll let you do your thing for a little while, but then it's time to go. Yeah, you know, I got a couple people coming over. We're going to, you know, grill up some Korean short ribs or something like that. I got to use the pool now, guys. And he'll give them a little scram, maybe bring the broom out and give them a little. a little ta-ta and they're like okay cool it's all good wow and i like to see that you know it's all fun and games until someone you know someone gets mauled it's it's inevitable but i hope he doesn't have kids that he knows about he definitely doesn't have any kids that he knows about yeah it was the my biggest takeaway was peaches The musician peaches? Yeah, I saw actually Feist was posting about this. You know, because everyone at this festival, it's all these throwback bands and, you know, Hibes and Franz Ferdinand and Them Jeans. You know, all the greats are there. Everyone's old. You know, there's kids running around backstage. It's a much different environment. You know what I mean? Not kids backstage. Not kids backstage. To put it in terms that you know. Or that you might understand, like when we were at Coachella and you're hanging out in like the artist backstage area and there's all these just like music managers and TikTokers and, you know, short agents running around like they're more important than everyone. It's like a whole thing. And then when we went to go see Spiritualized, it was just a bunch of old butt rockers like drinking canned beer and talking about. Oh, how's the kids? It had a family reunion kind of vibe of we're all lifers. This is the 90th festival that I've played in my life. It's just kind of that vibe. It was like that, but for the whole festival. Everyone knew each other. It was all chill. There's no security. All in everyone's ass. There's no scanning your wristbands. It was all love. Are you saying it was all love? It was all love. Yeah, it was all love.

Because of that, because everyone's kind of old and like, yeah, I'm kind of, you know, I like doing this, but, you know, let's be honest, I'm kind of here to get a check and that's kind of about it. But Peaches was like, I'm going to... Shut it down? I'm going to do my best. I'm going to do the best job that I can do. And she came out with a walker. Like to kind of make a joke about how old everyone is. And like the walker had sound effects. So like when she would walk, like her sound person would turn on like a little squeaky. Oh, that's nice. That's a nice touch. That's a nice touch. And then like she stands in the middle of the stage and it's silent. Like no one is saying anything. There's no music playing. And she like grabs the side of her head and like cracks her neck. And then the sound guy's like cracks her neck, pulls her microphone out of her purse. kicks her walker and then starts performing and wearing the most insane outfit, more or less nude the entire time. And this was at 2 p.m. Did she shut it down? Was this successful? It was. At first, it was like 2 p.m. and I was like, okay, I'm going to go get a drink, walk around, whatever. And then Peaches started playing. I'm like, oh, let's check out the beginning, see how it is. We'll watch it for a minute and then go walk. And we were kind of dumbstruck. Yeah. And then we just sat there and watched it the whole time. It was like when Brazil's Anita performed at Coachella. I was like, booty's going to move like that. I'll stick around for a while. It was the same thing. It was just like, what the fuck is she doing? And she won the crowd over. At the beginning, she was doing kind of call and response sing-along songs. And the crowd was not responding. And she was like, oh, hey, guys, when I say this, you say this. And that's how the song goes. And everyone was just like, what the fuck is going on? And then, you know, 45 minutes later at the end of her set, she had masked a huge audience. People are cheering. Everyone was loving it. And I was like, damn, I'm so impressed that you are like, you care this much to be like, I'm playing this fucking festival at 2 p.m.

you know and i play like intense like crazy electro clash music and i'm not you know it's not like the shins or it's not like yeah no that i mean it could be the worst setting like i should be playing at at 6 a.m in like a german fucking yeah dungeon squat for what i'm doing but i'm playing like in a park with a bunch of is there a full band people who have like like service animals and stuff no it was just her just her and a few dancers damn that's lit So did you watch anybody else? Was anybody else good or memorable or no? Hell no, I didn't watch shit. I just hung out with everyone. I don't know. I wanted to just sit around. All I want to do at festivals, if I have my own trailer and tent backstage in the artist area, I'm going to sit at that table and drink beers and smoke cigs all day long. And then people just come over and hang out. You're just like, hey, what's up, bro? I haven't seen you in a long time. You kick it. You need to use the bathroom. It's right there. You need to get a refill. It's right there. Let me ask you a better question. Did anybody from TJ's past look better than worse? Oh, interesting. I mean, there were a lot of people who looked just normal and about right how they're supposed to look, and I felt good about that. There was nobody this time where I was like, mama mia, what happened to you, brother? Okay, so nobody had gone so far down the hole. It was okay. No, and I was a little anxious about that. I was like, oh, fuck. Yes, I am good at doing stop and chats. Yes, I am able to handle it. But what if I have to do it 75 times today? Will I start to fatigue? But it was so nice. It was super positive. I'm glad. I got no complaints. I'll do it all over again. I'm glad that this happened. And I'm also glad that you got paid for it. I'm not glad that I missed it. It's all good. I mean, you got to go to a Balenciaga show. At the New York Stock Exchange. I think that's cool and culturally relevant. Yeah, no, no. It was fun. I'm happy I went. And there's an after party tonight that I'm hoping to stay up late enough to go to. Don't worry. We took good care of your lucky lady. We were dancing all day in the festival. She was having a blast. Oh, I know. You got to leave her back in L.A. more often, Chris.

We'll have her back without a scratch. This is fun. I can't provide. You know what I mean? I go to a fashion show at 1130 in the morning and walk home in the sun. That's all I got. And, I mean, I did, though, mercifully have Harry's house in the AirPods. But I thought you don't like Harry's house, though. It's a weird thing that's happening, Jason. I didn't love Harry's house. It's not that weird. Before the birthday celebration on Friday, I did watch the Harry's house full performance live stream. Thanks to our friends at Apple Music. Available only on Apple Music. Available only. I didn't watch the Zane Lowe interview, but I did watch that. And I have to say... it was so good he's so good live it like made me want to revisit the album okay but it doesn't it doesn't blow me away like the first two the first two is out of the park for me immediately the first one was good second one bad third one bad but you know i was hoping for more but i'm gonna force it that's what i'm gonna do just like the stones man they got a lot of good songs they got 10 times as many bad songs but when they play live you're like fuck they got it man yeah yeah yeah Speaking of the Stones, Mick Jagger was firing shots this morning. Harry Styles doesn't have a voice like mine or move on stage like me. Stop. He's like, yeah, he looks a little bit like me, I guess. But this motherfucker ain't got shit when it comes to the skills. So is he mad that people are comparing the two? Or was this just an out of context? Nobody asked him and he's... No, I'm going to say he was asked something and they probably took his quote out of context to make it sound like he's hating on Harry Styles. Because I don't think Mick Jagger would hate on Harry Styles. Right, so they turned Mick Jagger into some clickbait. It's crazy, right? How the media twists and turns those schmucks over at The Guardian. It's probably... happened to him more times than we can even count. He's been famous for so long. He's attacked and attacked and attacked. All he does is give us great music. Yes, but Harry does not sing like Mick Jagger or dance like him and neither does Hayley Baldwin or

jessica alba i don't see me i don't see any of the yeah yeah i don't see the dancing and singing i would agree i don't even think they look that much alike even when they were younger i don't really see that oh fuck yeah shut the hell up mc jagger old ass he is old he's a fucking old as hell he is he's old as hell and he's hating on the younger generation much like you i was thinking about water and water bottle drinking you know all that stuff you you drink a lot of water well very cool very cool jason Very cool. You like this subject matter? You like this line of questioning so far? Yeah, this is some cool stuff you've been thinking about. I can tell you're really firing on 100 today. So I was walking the dogs in the neighborhood, and I saw this kid. And you know when you see kids walking to the school, and they have a giant backpack, and it's like a tactical marine kind of gear, and they got their water bottle and all their little things. And it's like a kid who... couldn't do like a one push up on his knees kind of thing, but he needs this giant water bottle so he can go sit in class, whatever. I love you calling this kid a bitch, but go ahead. Yeah. Most kids are a bitch. That's just how it is. Not to sound like an old guy, but I mean, he was like walking to high school and I was, it was, I was remembering when I was in high school, like the thought of like bringing a water with you would be that social suicide. You know, the thought having a backpack. Oh yeah. Having a backpack, you will get called. the F word, you know, 11 times in one day. Basically showing up to school with nothing is the only option. Yeah. When I was in high school, you had your books, just books. Like under your arm. And then you just carry the books. And you put them in the locker. Yeah, yeah, under your arm. You just carry your books, a pencil behind your ear, and that's kind of about it. And I'm not even that old. You know, this sounds like it was, you know, how life was in the 60s or something like that. Well, you also probably weren't trying very hard. So that could have something to do with it. That's true. But trying hard in high school used to be really, really dumb. So you're saying you see this kid with a water bottle and you're thinking to yourself, that's insane because if I were to carry a water bottle, it would have gotten slapped out of my hand. Right. So it was making me think like...

There could be a return or, like, a backlash of water. I'm predicting, like, a Lindy-style resurgence of drinking fountain culture. Okay. And then a shunning of people who carry water around. Okay. I mean, look. You know, like, before we'll say, like, certain things are, that's a female trait. Obviously, that doesn't apply to drinking water because that's a thing that we all need to do, too. to survive no matter what gender that you identify as so you know i guess carrying water in a bottle is a is a pussy trait yeah it's for pussies no it is but it's also become a fashion statement because it's another way for people to like show what they like by by purchasing a certain kind of vessel yeah it's a way to identify and signal to others of this is how i like to carry my beverage when did water drinking become popular the way it is now With the advent of bottled water? Yeah, it was. You know what I mean? I think it was that, and then it was also, not to be old guy again, but the kind of like, this is why we can't have nice things argument of people out there will eventually ruin it and you have to fix it. Like drinking fountains were a thing that we would all use. And then at some point in our lifetime, you know, drinking fountains were, you know, we used to be like, oh, this is a drinking fountain. Let's keep it clean. And we all just kind of kept it clean because we all used it every day and nobody wanted to. And then at some point, you know, high school kids were like, you know, pissing in it or just dumping garbage in it, spray painting it, smashing it with a hammer. So now in 2022, the thought of using a public drinking fountain is pretty disgusting. So you're saying bring back the fountains is what you're saying. It's time for a fountain research. Well, I don't think it'll ever happen is the problem because it's not like our society is going to get better and not like fuck with stuff anymore, you know, like or any less like it's only going to get worse. So I don't think that anyone is going to.

If we install a million drinking fountains, I don't think that's going to change. I think people are still going to not use them because we can't trust it. I still use a drinking fountain all the time at the Eastern Gym in Hollywood. There's a great water fountain that I use, and it's not very popular because everybody's got their little jugs. So that's interesting. The one place that most people do do a gallon jug, you don't bring the jug and you just use a drinking fountain. I like that. I don't like to carry water around with me unless it's kind of dire. Okay, good. I drink the gallon at home. the time and maybe i'll bring it in the car if i absolutely have to but i wouldn't bring i don't know i mean i guess i drink water on a plane you know what i mean i bring it on a plane i buy my avions at the airport like every everybody else the fact that people bring a nalgene to lax and wait in line for 30 minutes to fill it up is it's crazy to me it's crazy to me but that is the popularity of the bottle that that's proof to your theory yeah and i i want i don't think there will be a backlash i just think i i think that There is a situation where we may be drinking too much water and we have become water dependent and we can't leave the house without a water. And it's just kind of a pussy trait. I think that... When you're always, like, eating little snacks and nibblers and almonds and fruit and having a smoothie, you're never... I'm rarely, like, really hungry. Like, that type of hungry where you're like, oh, I could eat a horse. Oh, my gosh. Yeah, because your mom keeps snacks in their purse for you. So it's no problem for her to get little TJ some Cheerios. The same way I'm never really thirsty. Unless, you know, it's like 100 degrees out and you've been, you know, playing. tennis all day and you're just like and then you know it's it's kind of like intermittent fasting or or edging or you know deprivation we need to remember what it's like to like have actual thirst and then quench that thirst and enjoy it and if we're always just sipping all day we're never going to get there yeah i want to do more i want to do more deep diving on when water drinking became

like this popular where it's like every single person is carrying around a $40 sustainable water bottle attached to their backpack no matter where they come from or where they're going. Who are the ad wizards that Big Agua paid to create this? Big Agua did something. Because Big Agua is probably pissed now, though. Because Big Agua is like, we had you guys paying $4.50 for water in a plastic bottle. Yeah. And now you're buying one water bottle every three years. That's right. Damn, this is a lot to unpack. It's a lot to unpack. I agree with that, Chris. But this story is still developing. Well, let's see. I'll look into how much it costs to kind of install a water fountain and see if we can get one for the house for your birthday. want one in the house wouldn't that be nice i guess it would be nice yeah have a little water fountain out by your pull-up bar that's nice i'm gonna start water fasting and that's not where you only drink water i'm gonna stop okay stop drinking water and just to see what happens but like back in you know back in the 60s i don't know because i wasn't alive obviously but water was considered kind of bad like in a sporting event your coach would be like you know don't drink water you're gonna get a cramp Drink this sugary Gatorade. No, drink nothing. The night before where you have to run around all day, make sure you have five pounds of spaghetti and meatballs so you can have enough carbohydrates to fuel you. And then when you're playing during the game, don't drink water. You're going to get a side cramp and you'll be on the bench. Obviously, that sounds stupid now with the information that we know, but also those were people who were strong. who are living to a hundred. So you kind of want to, you want to go back to kind of an old school, like we eat steak, we smoke cigarettes, we eat pasta, we have wine, we have beer in a can kind of lifestyle. I want, well, I mean, cause that's kind of like the Lindy aesthetic of like, we want to go back to some. traditionalism 50s 60s back when a man was a man and no one was a pussy and there was no gay stuff you know and thank god my car takes gas like a fucking man i don't plug my car in like some of you pussies right i don't see the issue in littering obviously there's some bad parts about it that go too far but there's also some parts about it where like yes there were a lot of terrible things going on yes it was very racist sexist littering horrible for the environment but also like

There was no, you know, it was a time before the Internet. It was a time before high fructose corn syrup. It was a time when a lot of people died for when they shouldn't have died because modern medicine hasn't caught up yet. But a lot of people who, like you said, just have beer and steak and cigarettes every day and they weren't. They were fat, but in a different way. They looked strong. I agree with you. They looked like a farm animal. They didn't look so soft and soy boy-y. They moved their body, and they worked with their hands, and they did things. This is a very interesting pivot for you. I'm ready for you to go back to the before times, as they say, in some of these boroughs. I think this could be really good for you to discover what you're capable of as a man. And you've kind of been cheating yourself, really. Yeah, I mean, I think in the 60s, you'd drink one Coke. It would be in a bottle. It would be made with real sugar, and you'd be fine. And now we drink four Diet Cokes in a can. It has no sugar in it, but everyone has cancer and is dying and is obese. Speaking of this, actually, I just saw a tweet today where... uh azalea banks describes how to quit smoking can i just read this to you oh hell yes it's long just prepare for this okay hold on i'm gonna eat a half an edible right now go ahead a high take high does l l glutathione and vitamin c 20 000 iu vitamin d a day liquid magnesium raw shaved ginger root and hot water key limes buckwheat mullein tincture pepsi daily Subsiaceous B12 injections, seeded watermelon, soursop tea and fruit, sarsaparilla root tea, sea moss, avocado, avoid dairy, refined sugar, caffeine. Avoid fried foods. Eat kimchi. Try not to eat in the three hours before bed to avoid acid reflux. If you can't make it to Santa Monica, there's an alkaline water store called Alcapuro. Drink two liters a day religiously. Carrot juice. Go see Dr. Josin for Cairo. Low EMF infrared heating mats. Lymphatic drains massages with magnesium creams. Eat chickpeas. If you can pull a veganish no alcohol month with Rick Simpson's oil plus melatonin plus lavender, chamomile tea spiked with liquid magnesium.

melted sea moss glob, shaved ginger root, manuka honey for a 7 p.m. sleep time. You'll heal up super-duper fast. Also check out Food Foreign Genius on IG. Best of luck. Fuck. This is to quit smoking? This is Azalea's advice on how to quit nicotine. This is a manifesto for life. I know. I think it's a little bit of a... This makes sporty and rich, or this makes goop look like fucking Fudruckers. It does. This is the most advanced. Seamoss girly shit I've ever heard in my entire life. The first response to her on Twitter is taking all of this keeps you so busy you don't have time to smoke, which is a good point. I love Azalea Banks so much, man. I know. Honestly, it's crazy. She just said a bunch of words. And even I would say that I read it pretty fast, but she said the same thing, the same ingredients four times. Yeah. In different applications. It was hypnotizing. It really was. I will walk to the end of the earth. for azalea banks i don't know why i can't explain it but i feel like she is the prophet and the chosen one and uh we should protect her at all costs we gotta get you we gotta get you two hotties in the same room just see what happens palpable i can't tell if it's gonna be intercourse like sig smoking or we're gonna have a hit song on our hands you know what i mean not a hit song i think it'll be it'll be one of those things where i try to endear her to to my styles and it will fail miserably yeah but in but in a way where she's like there's something about this guy yeah i could see that i could see that for you i think i think she's probably in the right setting she's probably a less tough nut to crack than we assume and if i catch her on the wrong day i could I think we could become close friends. I think so too. And don't smoke around her because I don't want to get her started on it again because I don't know how she's doing financially right now. It sounds like if she's going to Santa Monica to buy alkaline water, things are going okay. Bro, that's honestly, going to Santa Monica to buy alkaline water is fucking crazy. God, I need there to be a vehicle for her that will just be, you know, like talking shit on other people on Instagram stories is so far the best.

medium for for her mind but yeah i agree there needs to be something else i think unfortunately it's podcasting i want her like her to be in conversation with fran levowitz at a at a university or something i want her to be studied more so she can't no she needs she needs editing that's the thing ab if you're listening right now or somebody working on your team if you need a long editor my dms are open Oh, yeah. He opened for Friends Ferdinand yesterday. Now he's editing Azalea Banks podcast today. Things keep going up for TJ. I saw MIA's trailer, so you guys are in the same world. Did you babysit for her or anything, or did you guys see each other at all, or any interactions? I saw some kids. There were two eight-year-old girls that were daughters of somebody out there now, not just random children. We kind of became friends backstage. They wanted to like hang out with us. And then when we went to go DJ, they would go into the DJ area and they had those like shooting range earphone covers on to protect their tiny ears. And they're dancing to all the songs I was playing. They were singing along to the song. Like some of the songs, they knew all the words. synchronized dances. Were their parents musicians? Were these kids parents musicians? Not professional musicians, no, but, you know, tangentially in that world. That's pretty interesting. So, I mean, they had cool parents, but it was like, you know, the same way I was looking at this kid with a water bottle in his giant backpack. Like, when I'm looking at this eight-year-old, I'm like, man, when I was eight, I was like, I like peanut butter jelly and I watch cartoon, you know? It's changed a lot since then for you two. Fully formed adults who have irony and sarcasm. If you can remember, what song did they know? I think I was playing a Robin song, and I played it, and they were like, oh, this is the song, and we have this dance that we do to this song, and they look like they're in a super bad style movie, like just a couple of old pals.

and they were singing along to each lyric and just dancing it up. I'm like, fucking A, man. That's beautiful. I hadn't even been to a bowling alley when I was your age, and you're at a fucking music festival in the middle of the dance floor. I love Jason. It's an overcast in Pasadena. Jason's in hour two of his DJ set, sipping on the Molly Dasani to a couple eight-year-olds dancing to Robin. This is what it's all about. This is kind of what it's all about, Jason. It really is, man. It really is. It really is. Bringing that kind of music and that vision to the youth is kind of, I mean, I know you got paid, but it feels like charity to me. If I didn't get a check from the good people at Golden Voice, it wouldn't have been a problem. Because my love tank got filled up yesterday. I sure did. Exactly. I could tell your love tank's filled up. I'm so glad to see the youth of our world are doing great. I saw that today. I saw that. But I was also like, I'm so glad I don't have kids that I have to drag around this fucking place. I saw that today. See, the person sitting across from me at Balenciaga brought their daughter. And I could tell she was just absolutely like, what the hell is going on? Yeah, man. Whoever the parent was obviously works in fashion and et cetera, but it's still, they weren't ready for latex masks at noon, you know? I like that we both had things that happened at 2 p.m. that should not have happened at 2 p.m. Yeah, that's right. And luckily, the good people of the New York fashion world and Balenciaga. They're going to bring their kids to a show and not their dog, I hope. No, no dogs. I didn't see a damn dog all day. It was beautiful. Thank God. It was beautiful. Security's tight down there. Sure, sure. I had to go through a metal detector. I mean, it's serious. Yeah, I did too. I did too. I had to put the drugs in the pocket. I couldn't bring the thing on me. I couldn't bring the thing. The thing being your contacts, T2. It was the classic throw your wall on the table and keep walking, chief. Not like Canadian customs in TSA. No, not when it's TJ going through, known criminal. All right, Jason. Well, I just wanted to talk about one last thing really quick, and then we'll finish it up. Please. The Chappelle-Malaney.

controversy oh yeah talk about that because it'll be old news by the time if we don't talk about today let me tell you what the controversy is jason none of these guys are funny that's the controversy nothing none of these guys are funny come on and also mulaney should know that his dorky ass white audience in like whatever flyover state he's in does not want to hear dave chappelle come out and make fun of gay people and trans people Even if the jokes are funny, they don't want to hear it. It might be on Mulaney's shoulders for knowing that his audience... Bro, Mulaney's audience fucking lines up at Blue Bottle and fucking wears masks and has Bernie stickers on their car still. That's his audience. But my question is, has he consciously created that audience of people who want safe twee jokes? Has that happened organically because his delivery and style and presentation, like he's wearing, he's always wearing a suit and a tie and he speaks very enunciating. You know, he enunciates, he doesn't use blue words too much. You know, it's kind of family friendly. So, but he's also like, yeah, I love that his, I love his family friendly comedy. That's like, yeah, I'm in rehab the third time for Coke. Well, that's the other, that's what makes me wonder. If like the crowd found him because of the way he looks and the way he talks. Yeah. Or did he see a hole in the market of like, all right, there's all these people out here who want to laugh, but they're also twee pussies who are easily offended. Can I find a little window of opportunity there? Jason, no, he looked. No, no, no. He's just he looks like that. And he looks like Eddie Haskell and he dresses like that. Like he could be, you know, like the Nationals guitar tech. Right. But the irony is he's done more cocaine and smoked more cigarettes than Dave Chappelle has. Yeah, he's actually probably pretty cool, but his audience isn't cool. Classic problem. That is a classic problem. But I still think that you have to know that, like, no matter how legendary you think someone is, that doesn't mean your audience agrees with you. Yeah, that's true. And also Dave Chappelle is just not funny. I don't even think those jokes, I mean, they weren't even jokes.

It's like not even, there's no premise. It's just like him talking. Yeah, he was just talking, just doing crowd work. He's on his victory lap now where he doesn't have to do much but just talk about people in the crowd, asking somebody if their emotional support dog licks his dick or something like that. They're not well thought out jokes, but he can do that if he wants to. I think both of them are talented stand-ups. When you have a sense of humor, A huge part of having a sense of humor means you're not easily offended. It means you could laugh and joke about yourself. Yes, but that's over now. I know. Everybody's easily offended even if they pay $100 to see John Mulaney in his fucking tie on a Saturday night. It doesn't matter if you're going to – I think some people are going to a comedy show hoping they'll be offended so they can get mad. So they can get – I went to – You went to this fashion show, so you can check out fashion, but it's also going to turn into content. You're going to be able to talk about it on this show. Yeah, but we do this for a living. Right, right, right. So people might go to a comedy show, pay the money, just so they'll have some fuel to start firing off these tweets for no money. Or do a very special Tumblr post. They're doing a next-door post saying that John Mulaney is a nuisance, and we've got to get him out of here. No, I mean... I just don't think Dave Chappelle is funny, and I think it's Mulaney's responsibility to understand his fandom is not going to appreciate that brand of humor, and there's 12,000. It was like a lot of people. He was making a lot of money that night. Mulaney has been getting killed for the last year. He left his wife for a loser. They got a kid that no one knew about. He just can't win. He went to rehab. This ain't the time to be bringing Chappelle out. That's what I'm saying. You've got to understand what this looks like. The injury is still healing. Yeah, it's also like, where are the people? Where is the manager? Where is the booking agent? Being like, nah, we're not going to do that tonight. Nope. Yeah, I guess it makes you wonder.

Did Mulaney reach out to Chappelle and say, like, hey, I'm in Ohio. Do you want to come do 10 before my set? I think it would be fun. Or was it, hey, Mulaney, you're in Ohio. I'm here right now, too. You mind if I hop on and do 10? In that case, can Mulaney ever say no? Even if Chappelle's hot right now, it's hard to say no. I think Mulaney asked him. I think Mulaney asked him because he's such a, I'm such a fan of comedy and Chappelle's one of the greats. He's one of the, he's a murderer. He's the all time best. And just like his dick got hard and he forgot what the bottom line is. And the bottom line is the people who pay money to see you. And I mean, look, it's an isolated, I'm sure it's like 10 people who are actually mad, but the optics of it are not good. Him giving Chappelle a platform is not good for him. Sure, sure, sure, sure. Maybe, uh, maybe Mulaney. Hates his twee, easily offended, fragile fan base that he has inadvertently created. I'm sure he does. And he's hoping that maybe he hired Chappelle to open to kind of crack a few of these eggs to make his omelette to kind of put the fear in a bunch of people and bring a few more people on. Absolutely not. Mulaney didn't think it through, and eventually Olivia Munn's going to take him to the fucking cleaners. Whether it's child support or alimony, we don't, to be determined. Olivia needs a new set of veneers, baby, and the one she gets ain't cheap. Olivia's getting the 75K veneers. You know, the G4 checks are drying up. Like, Mulaney's paying, so he's got to figure it out. But, I mean. That Maxim magazine mailbox money is starting to. Do you get residuals for Maxim? There's a lot of zeros on them, but they come after a decimal point. It's looking like my royalty checks from my book. It's unfortunate. Can't even get you a cup of coffee in this town. Also, in other comedy news, it was Pete Davidson's last night on Saturday Night Live last night. I watched his little update clip. He got a little misty at the end. I haven't watched it yet. I'm more misty than...

King Kyle Mooney didn't get a proper send-off. I mean, I think Kyle Mooney's probably the most underappreciated person that's ever been on that show. I think him and Kenan. Contemporary cast members. Yeah, Kenan's a soldier. No, Kenan's a soldier. Like, Kenan does it for everyone. Everyone loves Kenan. And he's spread out so thin that, you know, he's just an omnipresent guy. But Kyle was, like, the guy for, like, the weird, kind of socially awkward. You know, quote-unquote random people. No, yeah. He was like random weirdo bro representation on national television. That was kind of, you know, maybe the first time in history. You're right. I know you can't relate to that. I think all the white bottle service girls in New York are happy Keenan's gone. Keenan's not gone. Keenan's still on the show. No, I know. I'm kidding. All the New Jersey bottle rats. No, but I mean, but Kyle is funny. But Kyle, I mean, that guy will be like, he'll write forever. He'll be fine. He'll be good. I feel like all the heads that are really famous love him probably. It's one of those situations. Kyle, come on the show. Yeah, Kyle. Let's do a post-mortem. We'll give you a platform, something that Lorne could never do. Lorne would cancel your, he wouldn't put any of your stuff on the air. Yeah. And he didn't even give you a proper send-off. How long gone? Yeah, come over here. Come on over here. Come over here. All right. Well, I love that comedy segment, Jason. Nice. Shut up. How long gone, baby? Follow me at Them Jeans. How long gone? Follow DJ Them Jeans on Instagram and Twitter and wherever you get your mixes, SoundCloud, MixCloud, whatever you use. Check me out on outdoorvoices.com backslash recreationalist. I archived the page of stoneware. If you need a PDF, I've got it. It's in the Wayback Machine if you absolutely desperately need it. Pray for me as I try to stay up until 10 p.m. tonight to go to Balenciaga Party and then get up at 5.30 to go to Long Island tomorrow for a photo shoot. It's all out here, Jason. And thank you to the kind folks at Balenciaga for hosting me. Thank you for the kind folks at Christian Dior for hosting me. Thank you to Golden Voice.

Thank you to GGs and Al Wilmot for hosting us. I mean, Jason, we have a lot of people to thank. I think we got them all.