703. - Lauren Sherman & Chantal Fernandez

All right, this episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Stateside with Kai and Carter, a new podcast from The Guardian. And they are using this podcast to slow down the news and wrestle with the questions that we all have about what's happening in the world. And they do it three times a week, Jason. Does that sound familiar to you? We don't really talk about, you know, a lot of international global news items and climates and cultures and sports and things like that. We do talk about fashion and wellness, but for everything else, Kai and Carter are a great place. All right, so who couldn't use more news? Listen wherever you get your podcast. or watch on YouTube. How long gone? Coming at you live. Them jeans. What's going on? Just did a podcast. Had a little workout earlier. It's a nice, beautiful day. Thursday, they're starting to get a little nip in the morning, though. A little chilly. It's almost hoodie season. I'm a little sad about that. Yeah, I mean, it's definitely that today, especially. It's going to be, it's full jacket, light jacket, you know, but jacket nonetheless. All of our listeners love to layer, so that part is good. But, you know, it is beautiful to just wear a T-shirt every day. and not have to think about anything i i literally this morning when i was getting ready to go to the gym i was like shit i gotta like look at some clothes i haven't looked at in a while to make this work what do i i see the temps and they're not agreeing with this look i see the temps i see the yeah so you you said you were in toronto yeah i went to toronto yesterday for the for the day just for me like i flew up in the morning had a meeting and flew back at night so it was pretty quick how does that feel does that make you feel like a man um i don't think man is the word i would use um but it does make me feel like a business person because that's what like a that's a certain kind of you see them in transit all the time like people do that kind of thing because it's it honestly is better i mean i just like had to be back so it made sense and it was pretty seamless to be honest you go laguardia i went laguardia i didn't get to go to the island where we landed last time which is the best but i went from laguardia to pearson and pearson to laguardia and it was it was seamless

It was great. It's beautiful, man. It's a lot of guys that print out their emails. You know what I mean? It's kind of vibe. Print out their emails? What do you mean by that? I just mean the older... There's an older guy. I got the upgrades. I'm in first class. There's an old guy that's obviously rich as fuck, but he's got two weird tote bags and they're just stuffed with newspapers and printouts of emails and maps and stuff. and he's just going through it and he's not that old i mean he's probably like 60 65 and i'm like this is kind of i feel like this could be my future if i play my cards right yeah i mean i think about this sometimes it feels nice to be that business person you know in your 60s your ceo boss and you have your your leather suitcase i mean sorry you have your leather briefcase and then you open up a stack of printed out yahoo mail emails and you're like, okay, that's cool. I love the tangibility of it. It's very DIY. It's very back to basics. It's earthing. It's all that stuff. But then what happens when you want to reply to the email? Do you just look at it and crumple it up in a ball and throw it in the trash can? What do you do? It's a great question. What's the next step? It's a great question. And I've never thought that far if I'm keeping it 100 with you. And I do wonder, I mean, maybe it's more about reviewing information and then responding later, but this is just the way you prefer to digest it. You know what I mean? Because you have time on the plane, but also the plane has internet. So this is a conundrum. Yeah, I wonder, does he have a pen and then he writes no at the bottom of the email and then hands it back to his assistant and then replies? I feel like there's got to be a better way. I mean, that would be cool. That would be cool. Okay, so any listeners, if you are the age where you print out your emails and read them that way, let us know what you do. Do you respond? How do you do it? Do you fold it up into a plane and throw it? I think it's the type of person who is one of those cool bosses like Sir Paul Smith, who we polyed with a couple weeks ago.

no email address so that's the only way it goes down yeah this is that's also that's honestly you're probably right like this is all this is the only way i cannot be i can't be arsed to have yeah them jeans at gmail.com yeah that would be crazy that'd be too much it was a beautiful day in toronto too it's been the east coast has really been has really been showing its ass did you have a good meeting did the meeting was it was it fruitful the meeting i think is going to be fruitful yes it was it was fun because i got to got to like go through an archive and stuff so it was cool to to see some stuff that most people don't get to see you know i love access jason like how like pharrell has access to the lego archives i mean the witton archives yeah yeah we i mean we talked about the lego the leg the pharrell lego movie he's doing he's doing press for this lego movie like his life depends on like there is someone saying you're going to die if you don't do the cover of high snobiety magazine and i don't understand i just don't like You're Pharrell, bro. Maybe it's just because it's a Hollywood thing and he wants to push more into that space. I don't understand the dedication. I think that maybe he has points on the back end where he'll get bonuses if it hits. It's just like how if I were to invest in a restaurant, I would be talking about it on this podcast and eating there with celebrities as much as I can to just try to make more money personally. I saw that he just did Fallon with friend of the show, Rachel Senna. We've got to get her back on the pod before she becomes too famous. I was telling David Cho in the group chat, and he thought that all those high-snob photos were him actually jumping. I hated to burst his bubble that it was Photoshop, but I think if the only real strategy they have is to lie and pretend that this is just another Lego movie, and it's not a Lego movie based on the life story of Neptune's producer Pharrell. Yeah, yeah. You know? Yeah, I just don't – I didn't know the Legos – Because otherwise that's not going to get a theatrical. No, I just didn't know Legos were so – I didn't know the IP was so strong. I didn't know that people were desperate to have a Lego movie about themselves. That just seemed – I'd rather just have a regular movie about myself.

You know what I mean? Let's cast somebody great and let's make a movie. I don't understand. It may have not been P's idea. I think that Lego is having a big moment. They're thriving, and I think they're like an evergreen. brand that's just going to keep on cooking yeah definitely though they definitely are as long as we got kids and nerds well but lego yeah legos is one of those weird things that's also fully acceptable for adults because they make like frank lloyd wright houses and the empire state building sure it's not just battleships you know so adults buy them and leave leave them up which is so dark and i was a lego enthusiast as a child i just want to be clear i was sick with it you were sick with it i was sick with it I was. I didn't get into construction or construction management, but I think that was maybe a path I could have taken based on my Lego skills. Black the Builder was your vibe. Yeah, that's what my mom called me. Yeah, Black the Builder. Yeah, so we're doing one of those pods where we interview and then do the intro. We're talking to our friends of the show, Lauren and Chantal, who wrote a book. about Victoria's Secret called Selling Sexy. There's a whole story about how it was built. It kind of has the similar vibe of the McDonald's movie. Remember that McDonald's movie that What's-His-Name was in? The story is interesting and a good businessman came in and took an existing business and bought it and blah, blah, blah. Then the juicy stuff is... The main guy was plugged in deep with Epstein. And people said that Epstein was acting as a board member of Victoria's Secret and then telling people that he was a casting director there. And then he would get his Epstein on, you know what I mean? Smart. Honestly smart. Yeah, if you're into that type of thing, it's a good business plan that they had set up. And luckily it did not end up working out.

for them but um yeah we talk about that and we just talk about fashion goss in general the row what else rfk rfk known fashion plate uh rfk but that's and that's another day in how long gone land where we talk both about ashley and mary kate olsen's the row and future president rfk junior yeah yeah future president i actually wrote today i wrote my newsletter today about kamala's press blitz and how just you know she goes on howard stern and she she reveals that she her favorite breakfast cereal special k i'm just like this is this is really i mean guys like howard stern used to mean something back in my day howard stern would ask would have asked Kamala about blowjobs or something. You know what I mean? It would have been a different time. Yeah, Howard would have been like, let me see the Glock. You said you got a Glock in your Rari, Kamala? Yeah, let me see it. You got the heat on you. But what's worse, Kamala going on Stern and discussing cereal or Donald Trump going on Andrew Schultz's podcast? Did he do, oh my God, I didn't know he did. He did flagrant? two i don't think it was him in charlemagne i think it was just i just saw like a couple clips yeah it's the other one it's called flagrant it's called he's got he's got he did that thing where him and his friend had a podcast and he got famous and now it's like it's like andrew schultz with his homie he's a comedian yeah it's him and his crazy boys and they probably like drink beers on the weekends and then they one of the guys films him when he's doing this show but yeah they had donald trump on And then they were I mean, they were getting into real shit. But unfortunately, it's Andrew Schultz. So I've seen this. This is actually really funny. Podcast host laughs when Trump describes himself as basically a truthful person. Yeah, that's that's good stuff right there. I mean, that part is good stuff. I mean, it's crazy because, you know, the thing is that someone like him can at least have we couldn't have Donald Trump on because we would get killed for like giving him a platform.

You know what I'm saying? It's so funny to me, the difference. Not necessarily. Oh, 100%. Are you kidding me? Would he fucking hung out to dry? I think it depends on what happens on the podcast. If we're there fellating him, then yeah, sure. Yeah, but you can't go in. You can only sort of fellate because the rules are... I mean, there's no... You're not doing what you want to do. They'll just leave. You know what I mean? You walk the line. I feel like I'm never going to listen to it, but I feel like Schultz is going to do a better job than Stern's going to do. No disrespect to the guy. Well, yeah, yeah. I mean, yeah, for sure. You need somebody who's not afraid to walk the line because there is a way to walk the line. And a little one for you, a little one for me. Take some digs, but keep you around. It just takes skill. It depends to me. It depends how much the people. behind the people believe that this is the way to you know win swing states you know what i'm saying it's like is it because like on 60 minutes it's you know what's going on 60 minutes if you're doing theo vaughn or flagrant too you're like if this guy steps out of line we're out of here if you don't realize how big the audience you know if you don't really comprehend how big the audience right right right that's what i mean but the audience is big it's bigger than 60 minutes for sure damn shame damn shame I mean, I don't even think he's that bad. It's just his haircut. Yeah, I kind of agree with you on that. Yeah, the mustache haircut combo is pretty serious. I'm sorry that we're missing the Brat remix album launch party at Storm King today, upstate New York, which I'm very interested to see. The cut was reporting live from the train. They went to... Got on the train with everybody that was going and was interviewing them about skipping work and stuff, which is a very funny idea. I mean, that's the kind of shit that we want to hear, right? 100%. Yeah. You just have to make sure that when you use AI to transcribe all your interviews, you have to go in and edit it. That's true. That's true. You have to put your foot in it. But we're going to go see Charlie live next week in LA. Yeah. And then we are going to also see How Long Gone Life in LA and New York.

We'll be doing Webster Hall in New York City on November 23rd and the El Rey Theater in Los Angeles, December 6th. We're working on our guests. It's going to be a fun show. We'll get some friends. We'll get some laughs. If you've been to one of our shows, it's more of that. If you've never been, come hang out. Press the flash. We'll try to do some after parties. Have some cool friends up there. It'll be a blast. It'll be a blast. How Long Gone, thank you for listening, and we will see you next week. This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Squarespace. Obviously, Jason, you and I spend a lot of time on the World Wide Web, sort of our peers, our listeners, our friends, our colleagues, maybe even your parents if they're freaky. And if you're doing anything in the world, writing, taking pictures. I do topless boxing. You need a website. Exactly. A website that works, that does what it's supposed to do, that allows you to be creative, but also business-minded. Jason, there's one place to go for that, Squarespace. Yeah, Chris, I'm over here. I'm modifying calculators and putting Claude inside of them so you could cheat at school. And I just want a place where I could have everything all in one place. I can have the SEO tools. So those future graduates can find me and, you know, I'm able to accept, quote, unquote, donations for my services that might be gray area. You know what I mean? And then email campaigns. Hey, I got a new, you know, 2.3 version upgrade. Boom, boom, boom. Get the analytics going. Raise some money. You know, show your investor all of your cool analytics of what's going on. They're going to want to get in early. And we can use Blueprint AI to make your website look as professional. as your competition, if not more. So head to squarespace.com slash howlong for a free trial. When you're ready to launch, use offer code howlong to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain. This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by a new podcast from The Guardian stateside with Kai and Carter. This is covering a lot of our bases, Jason. It's trying to slow down.

the news and wrestle with the questions we all have about what's happening in the world and i know you particularly have quite a lot of questions a lot of questions but how often because we do this podcast three times a week and that's a sweet spot how many times do they do three times a week and i i have a feeling just based on the platform and these talking points that they're maybe going to be covering different stuff than we do that's just a guess the guardian is not some billionaire owned They're not afraid to say what they want to say, brother. Yeah, Rupert ain't sniffing around in what journalists Kai Wright and Carter Sherman are up to over there at Stateside. But yeah, listen wherever you get your podcasts. You can watch it on YouTube. It's three times a week. And who couldn't use more news? Especially when it's not from here, let's say. Give it a listen. Give it a listen. What's up, ladies? Hi. Hey. You guys ready to talk about underwear? Man. Oh, yeah. Lauren Sherman finally returns to How Long Gone, and this time she's turned off her AI bots, but her and Chantal have written a book selling sexy about Victoria's Secret that they are making the rounds, promoting. I have to say, you guys are really, you're going promo mode. Are you sensing it? Are you feeling it? Yeah, Chris, what do you see in boots on the ground as a media elite? What kind of outlets are you checking their vibes out at? I mean, I just... I just feel like it's every corner of my life. And I'm sorry I missed the party last night. I missed both parties. You should be sorry. That was a great party. Yeah, it was a little rude that you made Alex go by herself. I didn't make out. I was out of town. I went to Toronto for the day for a meeting, and I wasn't back in time. So I apologize. We believe you. It's fine. I'm a bag chaser, first and foremost, and then a guy who likes parties. It's true. You have come to a lot of puck parties, so it's okay. Sometimes I feel like we have... a lot of parties and i'm always like could you come to this other party we're having i like to i like to i mean the punk parties are cool because it's just like nerds i would never encounter in a in a cool way like like i feel like i need to meet these people because i wouldn't find them in my regular life this this one was like very media people you're friends with though there were a lot of media reporters there who think they dress well yeah sure seeing derrick blasberg doesn't really do much for me but meeting some nerd who's can somehow have access to 100 million

That feels more where I'm trying to go. It's aspirational, Jason. That's what I'm saying. It's aspirational. Then this was not the party for you. Because this was much more like our people. So it was just people you're connected to by either by marriage or – Get it, get it. Well, one thing I noticed on IG was I think you said that like Puck, your employer – shout out to Puck. They do newsletter, podcasts, et cetera. Sign up. Pay for it, Jason. I know you're still not a subscriber. Some people out there pay for it, and they support small business. Let's go. That's not me. But you were mentioning how it's cool that your employer threw you a book party, and that feels very mad many in days of yore where things like that happened, and now in this media wasteland. They would laugh at you if the very idea of spending money on that. It's insane. When I started, my boss, John, was like, when's your book coming up? We're going to do a book party for you. And I was like, you barely know me. Why are you going to do a book party for me? This is going to cost so much money. This is not good for my return on investment for the company. But yeah, it was really, really nice of them. It was very generous. We don't have the nice thing is. We're doing really well. It's coming out of your advance, the party costs. I hope not. Chantal's like, what? Hold on. Chantal, you signed off on that, right? It's all good. This is the first I'm hearing about this. We ain't drinking Whispering Angel, honey. This is top-level, high-end shit. Oh, my God. No Whispering Angel in my life. Those days are behind you. No, the company's doing well, and we don't have that many writers. They've had, I think, three book parties for three out of the 15 or 17 writers or whatever. It's a nice thing that they're able to do, and it was really special. I think it makes a lot of sense. Yeah, we had a great time. There was no magician there this time. I was surprised. Hold on. That's a puck party signature. I know. If you ask me, Selling Sexy, the unraveling of an American icon, that's a little bit of magic.

I agree. It is magical. Wait, hold on. Hold on. I'm sorry. I know I said that those parties kind of lean nerdy, but I didn't know it leaned magician nerdy. Can you fill me in? About to make your Q3 disappear. So they always have Dan, my husband, who has also been on this podcast. Yeah, they always have like a I don't. know if it's a magician it's like someone who reads people's minds medium like they knew the first guy ever made out with the name of him okay oh i didn't get that i got like tricks like he knew he said think of like the first person it was something about like the first person you ever kissed and i thought of him and he knew the guy's name no i don't like that last name or just first name no just first but it was crazy because like no one knows this guy I don't think if you Googled him, he would come up. Can we try to Google him? He was hired to be at the party. Yeah, I'm looking him up. Bill Lipper. Damn, don't dox our man. It's not coming up. Rest in peace, Bill. You're told to think about it. Like you have to concentrate on this fact. And then the medium pulls it out of your brain and produces it for the crowd. Yes. And we all had, there was like a group of us that all had to, I think it was like the first guy we ever kissed. No, he was not the first guy ever kissed. It was probably your first something. I don't remember what, but it had something to do with romance or whatever. Romance. That's what a first kiss is. The first time you got rizzed up by a Sigma. Something like that. I think this guy was a Sigma. I don't know what a sigma is, but he definitely isn't a frat. Ask your two-year-old. Your two-year-old son knows. Did either of you date frat boys? No, this was like in high school. I went up to Penn State. Chantal said yes. To get trashed at Penn State. Chantal did, I'm sure. I was in a sorority. I was in a sorority, too, but at Emerson. No, it doesn't count. That doesn't count. Wait, where were you in a sorority, Chantal? At Yale. I'm kidding. I knew the answer to that. Oh, sorry.

I didn't know the answer to that. What kind of sororities do they have at Yale? Drone strikes and things like that? I enjoyed it. I enjoyed it. It was fun, but it was like nothing compared to, you know, I grew up in Houston, and all my friends went to UT and did that whole thing, and that was like a different universe. That's a real goddamn sorority right there. So you're saying the Yale step team didn't have the same flow as H-Town? No, I don't think so. Well, actually, speaking, kind of, sorry to interrupt, Lauren, it makes sense that you guys wrote about Victoria's Secret having both been sorority. Ladies during the heyday of this very sorority girl coded retail experience. Would you agree, Chris? Well, I wanted to get to the bottom of why you like Victoria's Secret so much. We don't like it. No, I mean, like the idea of choosing that to focus on. It seems like just an interesting choice. Of all the icons to unravel. That's what I mean. There was so much meat on the bone that you were like, I can't leave this carcass alone. Yes. And there's stuff we couldn't even fit into the book. There was so much here. This brand has everything. Everything you could possibly imagine. And no one had done a big book about it. Epstein. Yeah. Epstein. Epstein. Bad behavior. Celebrities. Private planes. Cannes. You know, all these funny. silly things okay yeah funny silly stuff like jeffrey epstein i got it and that and that the other thing is like as you know chris i'm very commercially minded in that like i need to make money and i wanted to write a book but like i didn't i wanted to write a book that would make money and that could potentially sell like that people would be interested in there if you write a book about I don't know. Most of the stuff that Chantal and I write about, not many people are going to read it. Whereas this, like my friends from high school. Like a Hulu exec is not going to be like, let's do a Bath and Body Works miniseries. You know, there's not a lot of meat on those books. No. It's not salacious enough is what you're saying. So this had everything you needed. Not recognition enough with like normal people.

the limited it's like no you don't have that emotional connection to it people have people feel so emotional about victoria's secret like no one is neutral on it that's part of what's fun about it that is very weird and maybe that's just coming from a man but that's like me having like a real opinion on boxer shorts which feels crazy oh you have an opinion on victoria's secret yeah let's hear it there's a difference between victoria's secret and like muji or wherever you're buying your boxers chris i buy we're a calvin klein household by no choice of my own i don't I don't think about Victoria's Secret at all. The most I've thought about Victoria's Secret is because of YouTube being a part of my life. But like growing up, did you ever think about it? No, it just kind of smelled weird. I thought about it in the bathroom with the catalog. If you were invited to that runway show, would you have been into going? Yeah, of course. I'll go to the opening of a fucking envelope if it's funny. We have to have stuff to talk about. And yet you weren't at our book party. True, Chantal. In the book, you described a quote. Jell-O mold cleavage, and that is enough to get most fellas front row. And I'm not talking about Mel Ottenberg, fellas. I would say the Victoria's Secret, even when I was younger, and I'm sure there was a point where this changed, but I always thought it was just kind of corny. Yeah, I mean, yeah. Do you guys think those women looked hot on the runway? I mean, sure, when I'm 13, I'm sure I do. But when I'm 15, I'm like, this looks crazy. Like, there's too much. Wow, what a maturation. Yeah. Well, I think it was big because it pleased everyone. Yeah, Chris, he's not like the other guys. But there's the straight dudes who are like, I like seeing jello mold cleavage, 23-year-old titties bouncing down the runway, Bella Hadid's of the world, six feet tall in heels, but I'm not really into angel wing prosthetics, and that's for the sort of pageantry and couture for the girls in the game. That's a good point, Jess. Yeah, that is a good point. Jason, pageantry is a good word to use. It feels like when a woman is hot and then you see her in pageant mode and she looks like a creepy doll. And that's what Victoria's Secret did to every supermodel. It's like, well, they look better in magazines. They look worse here. But now I know they're getting paid a lot. When you see Rihanna at... And then I'll let you all ladies speak. Sorry. When you see Rihanna...

in uh down in rio for the carnival and she's wearing this you know she looks like a like a peacock rooster you know titties and ass are out it looks good but you're just like am i turned on by this i don't you know it's like it's a it's for the love of costumery i mean she looks good yeah she does i feel like you know what i mean the victoria secret one-way show in its heyday was for like plumbers you know what i mean it's like that's who it's for you know what i'm saying well i feel like it's it has like a certain what channels eat i don't know i don't know if i want to go here we're here sweetie it's kind of like porn it's not like well it's just kind of like oh you mean you mean porn in the way that it's like mostly for like plumbers yeah it's like mostly i don't it just doesn't feel it feels very artificial in a way that like if you're one of those guys who was overexposed to porn, you might like the Victoria's Secret runway. I think that's probably fair. To me, it feels like an extension or the last step before you go into actual porn from the Sears catalog. You hear people in the 60s and 70s, you would get a glimpse of a woman in lingerie in a retail catalog. And this is just like as far as you can take the catalog experience, which I think is a big part of the Victoria's Secret origin story as well, right? Yes. Catalogery. Totally. Did you learn this on the AI bot that you made, Jason, to learn about the book? Yeah. I have to use AI technology to read your entire book because I received it last night. So we can talk to the good people at Holt. Get that book over with enough reading time, Holt. chunk of the AI bot. And other than the fact that it said that Vanessa Gregoriotis was the other author, not me. It was Chantal and Vanessa. I thought they did a pretty good job. It was like a podcast AI of the story of Victoria's Secret. Did you share it with your co-author? I did. She was terrified. I was disturbed. Mortified. I'm so against. It's cheating. It's more optimization

And I hate that that's where we're going. It is cheating, and that's why Chris read the book. I didn't read the book. They know I didn't read the book. They know I didn't read the book. We don't expect that. Buy the book. I don't care if you read it or not. Yeah, I'll buy the book. I'm not going to read the book. That's what I'm saying. I'm not that interested in Victoria's Secret, but now you're kind of selling me on it because you're saying it's very salacious. Now that I know that there's... You're sounding sexy. selling sex is there any is there any murder in it like is this true crime for women do we get there was a murder no we didn't get a murder for this one the murder of trends yeah i was deceased after 2003 runway there's some fun stuff in there some like weird shit there's a lot of weird shit but the problem is i like when people do bad stuff to make money that's the problem i i think that's what it takes to get to a certain level you got to step on some necks yeah And there's some, like, financial maneuvering. If you like financial intrigue and, like, that kind of thing. I wish I'm intrigued with trying to make money. I don't really understand when people are making moves. You know what I'm saying? That's not really my brand necessarily. But I understand what you're saying. But this is ripe for a miniseries, though. That's the whole point. You're just hoping. Yeah, there's a great podcast about it. You should check it out. No one's been in touch yet. Vanessa Gregoriadis. No, we are. We're in. We're out and about. We're in conversations. People are really interested. We've gotten some inbounds, and everyone I know who works in Hollywood has seen it, which is good. Our agents at UTA are doing a great job. Oh, yeah. We'll see about that. Hollywood is really stable. Everything's working really well there, and deals are happening. Yeah, it's chugging along. Healthy budgets being approved. They gave John Mulaney's bad show. He just got a deal. He's going to come on every week and do that shit. So there's room for you out there. That was a good show, Chris. That show is great. That show is bad. You're insane. Below Deck didn't like it, but we liked it. I loved it. The music is bad. It was too weird to try to be weird. It wasn't good. I loved it. I watched an episode the other night that I never got to see. But you would like it. It's for you. It is for me. Yeah, that's so true. It is exactly for me. They had David Letterman on. Yeah, but I... And a seismologist.

That's what I don't want to see. It was too quirky for quirky sake. It's for Eastside people. It's extremely I live in Silver Lake vibe. The whole thing. It is. Yes, it's true. Also, his clothes, he has a great stylist. He is dressed very well. Yeah, he looks great. I don't know about his little hair. True. It's interesting. I've never seen an inch of his stand-up, and I probably never will. But I went up to him at the Hermes show, and I was like, I think I told you this. Yeah, you did. I was like. I love the show. I never say anything to celebrities. And he was definitely like, leave me alone. But I loved it. I thought it was great. He's had a glow up like his face looks different. Yeah, because he's with he's now married to a woman who's a plastic surgery enthusiast. And I'm sure she has introduced him to her practitioners. He went from being like if Stuart Little was a man to being like. sort of like chiseled in the cheekbone area. And he's probably not chewing Greek gum. It's something a little bit more extensive. Yeah, it's a little more powerful. He does look good. I think she looks good too. For like someone who has had a lot of work done, I think she looks pretty good. I don't understand her. Like she hosted a video, like a show on a video game network. Dan Frommer used to go on that show with her all the time. And every time she's on her screen, he's like, attack the show, attack the show. She used to go on in his Mark Zuckerberg sweatshirt. It was very silly. What does she do now? Influencing? I think she wanted to be an actress, and she was on the newsroom, and then nothing happened. Chris, it's called motherhood? That's true. Yeah, I mean, that's when you've run out of things to do. The calls aren't coming in. It's true. Look, they're fine. You know, funny about Mulaney, though, I like his stand-up. And I don't like any stand-up. Oh, interesting. Should I watch it? I don't like stand-up. The one where he's talking about being a coke addict is amazing. Yeah, describing his intervention. He should be hosting the Oscars, I believe. Well, I agree with that, too. Yeah, that would be so fun. They tried to get him to do it. I know you all follow Matt Bellany. Matt Bellany reported that they tried to get him to do it, but it was like...

three months ahead of time or whatever six months you need to give someone like that a year they're booked out a year i think i look i think if he wanted to make make the oscars work he could have figured it out with three months six months notice i don't know yeah you definitely also it's probably not that much money it's not that much money if the risk is too great golden handcuffs the risk of fucking up maybe they'll ask you guys to do the the um red carpet i mean oh The pre-show. I would love for E to call us, but they have people already. I would rather host the Oscars than not the E red carpet, but I will take E the red carpet, absolutely. Hosting the Oscars is a thankless job. You get paid no money. You have to tell bad jokes written by people you don't like, and everyone hates it no matter how well you do. There's no way. It's crazy. Yeah, I guess you're right. I don't know. Maybe that's why he's smart enough to not do it. Yeah, he's not doing it. When Ricky Gervais was on it, everyone was fucking with that. No, everyone you know was fucking with it. The culture at large was not. Yeah, Hollywood in general, my industry, entertainment. But I was thinking, Sherman, what do you think the chances are? Who do you think is going to do it first? How long gone are y'all to host the red carpet at the Met Gala? You mean me and Chantal? Yeah, that's never going to happen. Why not? All right, this episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Quince. Jason, the temps are warming up. It's getting hot out there. Summer always changes how I get dressed. I need pieces that feel lighter, more breathable, and they're just easy but still put together. I don't want to look like a slob. That's why I keep coming back to Quince. They focus on high-quality essentials that feel and look amazing. Breathable linen and soft organic cottons. Well-made basics but without the luxury markups. That rare balance where everything feels elevated. but still effortless. Yeah, Chris, linen season is here. I wore a linen blazer to dinner a few nights ago in the warm California sun. But, you know, you got that Italy trip coming up this summer and quality European linen pants and shirts. Upgrade that look starting at just $34. You know, if you get a nice linen suit, a little t-shirt underneath it, some chill shoes, you're looking good, but you're staying cool. The inside of your special areas are nice and dry as you turn up with your besties. So elevate that summer wardrobe. Go to quince.com slash how long for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns, even on a nice holiday now available in Canada.

That is Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash how long. That'll get you free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince punto com slash how long. Oh, this is huge for me personally. This episode of How I'm Gone is brought to you by TaskRabbit. Oh, baby, let me tell you something. This is not a joke. I use TaskRabbit a lot because I can't do anything. You need some art hung? TaskRabbit. You need a fucking... Something put together, a cabinet. Got to reach that cheese grater on the top shelf. TaskRabbit. Anything you need, TaskRabbit can take care of it for you. And, I mean, how it works, TaskRabbit connects you with skilled taskers in your area. They can help you move. They can assemble furniture, repairs, yard work, mounting, and more. You can search for a tasker based on cost, skill set, availability, and past client reviews so you know exactly who's showing up and can have confidence that they know what they're doing because taskers have assembled. Over 3.4 million pieces of furniture, completed 700,000 home repairs, handled 1.5 million moves, and the numbers are just going up, Jason. Yeah, throw a little money at the problem. It's not so expensive, and that job that you really don't want to do is something that another person out in the world is very good at doing and would gladly do it in exchange for a little bit of money. When life happens, your to-do list grows. Get ahead of it now and get $15 off your first task at TaskRabbit.com or grab the TaskRabbit app using promo code HOWLONG. Taskers book up faster, especially for same-day tasks. So book Trusted Home Help today. That is $15 off your first task using promo code HOWLONG with the TaskRabbit app or at TaskRabbit.com. Anna Wintour, I know you're listening, but I can tell them. You know who, one of her deputies. Wait, you guys have to do it. It's the menswear Met Gala. You have to be there. Yeah, I feel like one of her deputies who was involved in this stuff, I'm not going to out him here, but he definitely listens to you guys. You should, I'll float it to him. I know the theme this year is African American designer, so Chris and I are sort of the right.

I have my denim tier sweatsuit pressed ready to go for this thing. So I'm ready to rock. No, but this year is the best year possible because this is a trap and white people are going to fall into it and it is going to be good stuff. It's so rough. I've been so busy this week. I was like, I can't even mention it in the newsletter because I was supposed to go. Chantal, did you go to the preview yesterday? They don't love me over there. I wrote about the Costume Institute. Well, I'm invited to that, and you're not that crazy. I wrote about the Costume Institute earlier this year, and I said that this was going to be the next theme, in case anyone wants to go back and read that context. Oh, but you did a good job. She called it. Well, they invited me. We had too much stuff to do, but then when I saw the... I was like, oh, no, I can't even I can't even address it in my newsletter this week because I need to imagine. Just imagine. Just imagine how bad people are going to fuck up because people are a lot of people already look ridiculous. But this is just a ticking time. Do you think we're going to get some like Nancy Pelosi kneeling in the in the African gear style action? Something like that. The one thing they have going for them is that the Internet has turned anti-woke. So there is a chance. Hell yeah. How long gone? You're welcome. You are a big part of it. There is a chance that it won't be that crazy. And I didn't read what Robin Gavon wrote and she's good at framing this stuff. And if she thought it was like real bad, she would have said that. But I haven't read anything about it. I just saw the line and it said something about Dandy and African-American. And I was like, I cannot. I need to analyze this before I put any. any verbiage around it you need to sit down and do the work before you comment on this i understand i actually do i have the book that the that the guest curator wrote about this what's it called it's really interesting give a shout out what's it called it's called um black dandies i think is the name okay so okay you read 400 pages on this and then also wrote a story about the costume institute and they're not fucking with you is what you're saying yes i think

that was an accident chantal what more can you do fernandez it's called slaves to fashion and the woman's name is monica miller and she's going to be co-curating the show which is very cool because there isn't usually someone from the outside that comes in which is part of what i was writing about in this story that's awesome i think okay you i think it was an accident that you weren't invited i don't think that it was on purpose oh i think it was on i think it's definitely on purpose they want to keep the feds out they don't want any more of this salacious reporting coming from her but chantal It's just not worth it. Do you think that they, okay, so they've never, you're saying they rarely or never bring in an outside to, like, co-chair with Anna, correct, is what you're saying? It's not co-chair with Anna, it's co-curate with Andrew Bolton. Usually Anna has these co-chairs. Yes, this is more like working on the ex. The co-chairs are like LeBron and A$AP Rocky or whatever. I mean, there's always two separate things. The Met Gala. And the exhibition itself and they play different roles. And I think there's been some questions around the exhibitions. They always have a lot of the same European designers. And, you know, and Andrew Bolton has spoken about this in interviews in New York Times and others and trying to think about how to diversify. And part of what my story talked about were concerns of that. No evolutions were happening and concerns about that. And this is going to be an interesting subject for them. So one thing is like the exhibition is probably going to be interesting. But then how do people do that on the red carpet is like a separate. How does Whitey do that? The other thing is that all the chairs are men. which was like that people were mad because all the chairs were men. Also, is our friend Will Welch going to be involved in this heavily? Maybe. I'm sure, yeah. Heavily involved. Is he chairing? I wonder. No, he's not one of the chairs. Yeah, it's all celebrities. It's all celebrities. It's Lego Pharrell. We're not sure if it's going to be regular Pharrell or Lego Pharrell, depending on how the movie does. But we have a while. If he dresses as a Lego at the Met Gala, oh, baby. To be awesome. To fulfill his obligation. I was at the movie theater seeing Megalopolis, and there was a Lego Pharrell in the lobby wearing the Louis Vuitton print, but it didn't have the logo on it. And I was like, that feels like a myth.

opportunity. They couldn't pay. Well, that's because they put the LV logo on it. Some fucking dork that works the stock room at Kith would have stolen that from the lobby. Yeah, that's true. There's been a lot of smash and grab crimes lately. Sorry, this is hard with all four of us, guys. I was just going to ask when Chantal had time to see Megalopolis. It was a lot to squeeze it in. It was like two and a half hours, but we went last weekend. How bad is it? Is it as bad as they say? Listen, I thought it was interesting. I'm glad I saw it. It is absolutely bonkers. Chantal's a cinephile. She sees a lot of movies you've never heard of, Chris. I like movies. I like weird movies. Interesting is not a response. Is it good or bad? We have a binary system here at How Long Gone. Only when it comes to, not gender, of course, only when it comes to stuff like this. It is more bad than good, but the good parts... were enough to really tickle me. I'm going to see it for sure. This sounds like torture. I think it's worth seeing. You guys are insane. You couldn't pay me $1,[redacted address]. This is the kind of thing that this is the kind of torture I like. Okay, fair enough. There was like a 9-11 montage towards the end. Sorry, spoilers. I was like, whoa, where are we going with this? So much happened. So many ideas. Then there was another montage just like the three religions celebrating kind of like Christmas, Hanukkah, like winter solstice. Mr. Coppola had a lot of ideas that he wanted to share and he really crammed them. Not Mr. Coppola. Mr. Coppola. Do you think Mr. Coppola was groping those extras on set as a cinephile? What say you? I don't know. I read about that. I couldn't really understand what happened there or if it was just, you know. Generational miscommunications. I think it was generational miscommunications as well, and I'm going to use that moving forward. That's good stuff. Yeah, that sounds like a Linkin Park song, and that's what Megalopolis looks like. A fucking Linkin Park video for three hours. Yes, did you see that tweet, Jason? It was actually extremely accurate. More accurate than I ever thought it would be. It's almost frame for frame. I hate to say it, but Shia LaBeouf was like the best part of the movie. You should hate to say that. Okay, who else is in it? Adam Driver?

Aubrey Plaza. Aubrey Plaza? She's a huge role. She's like a huge character. What's her character's name in that movie, Chantal? Her name is Wow Platinum. You haven't seen it, have you, Jason? No, I have not. And I haven't seen Joker 2 either. Yeah, seeing movies is just such a diminishing return. I know you don't go to the movies, Chris. I don't either. I'm going to see this movie. I'll check it on the plane. They're not going to get my money. I'll see this movie. Are you going to take Fritz to the Lego Pharrell movie? No. I'm not taking Fritz to any dumb kids' movies. I'm sorry. It's not going to be our forever life. It's not dumb. It's Pharrell Williams, and they do all kinds of crazy stuff. Wait, is it Lord and Miller? What's that? The original Lego guys? This joke's not funny anymore. Bill Lord and... I don't know. I don't know. If it's Lord and Miller, I will go see it. They're funny as hell. Guys, we need to see Megalopolis so that Mr. Coppola can recoup his investment so that Sophia can stop doing product collaborations and get back to what she really needs to be doing. No, so that she can... I like the product collaborations. Be the creative director of Chanel. Well, that's a good segue, Chantal. So Sophia Coppola of the Coppola family, which used to be tens of hundreds of millions of dollars. He sold a lot of that to fund this film. And now she is forced to do influencing just like how I'm doing influencing. I don't know. I noticed a connection there that she's been out and about and he put all his personal money into this. What is she doing? I think she had a... She had a book to promote that sold very, very well because she did all that stuff. Okay, so she's doing a better version of what we're doing. Is she doing brand deals, though, Chris? No, she does what everybody does. She goes to Japan and gets paid a million dollars to direct a Cartier short film. And then she did Augustine's Batter Tinted Lip Balms, which I did buy one. Yeah, me too.

They did. She did. I mean, she did. But it was like weird stuff. It was like $2,000 cashmere jumpers from a brand I'd never. Well, it's a brand owned by Chanel. Yeah. It's their cashmere mill. I found that out. But it wasn't. It wasn't like, Jason, it wasn't like she was doing fucking, you know, Crocs ads on the timeline. She wasn't doing Barry's boot camp. No, I don't mind the stuff she does. She seems very open. Yeah. Like she's an open. She thinks something's cool. She buys it. And like, I know so many brands that are like, she directly buys from us. And if she wants, if someone's like, do you want to collab? She says, sure. She says, yes, fam. Pay me 150 grand or 500 grand or whatever. I mean, I just don't think you don't make any money making movies. She probably makes more money doing that stuff than she does making a movie. Totally. Chris, do you wear the tinted lip balm? Important follow-up, though. No, that was a gift. I don't wear it. No, no, no. I draw a line somewhere. I mean, my eyebrow gel, I don't know if you can see it right now, but yeah, no, I don't. Well, Lauren, I was listening to your pod with Mel Ottenberg, and he was talking about how he's hit his stride at interview where you're like, I'm doing orchestrated brand deals, editorials. specials whatever yeah but doing it cool and he said that's the direction that this is all heading yeah you know get down or lay down what do you i mean so is sophia doing the same thing she's making it cool totally i think all these people if you are in a creative profession it's hard to make money on the actual profession and you do these brand collaborations i also think mel Or Sophia, they could both be like creative directors of brands. Yeah, totally. They could easily do that. It's just like all the skills are... you can apply them like chris is a creative director of an album cover or whatever what does that mean i don't know but like great great question and i ask myself that every day but you're right it doesn't mean it's it's if you can get it done then you can do the job is really all it is all it means yeah and i think mel in particular i mean i love interview what other magazine do people talk about what's actually in the magazine none yeah like maybe two

They've maybe talked about the images, but the actual interviews he does with people, occasionally people pass them around. I can't think of right now off the top of my head, any other magazine that's like the other than New York, but like any of these indie magazines or New York or whatever. But like he like understands the zeitgeist or whatever. You worked on that Addison Rae video I'm obsessed with. Yeah. If I was one of these like big brands that needs help, I would hire that guy to pay him a million bucks a year and just. Have them like re-merchandise it, make it look cool. And then, you know, two years later, go away. But I don't know. I think that is where it, I mean, if you can sell stuff, people will hire Chris Black to another gay icon. I mean, I'm, yeah, I'm a gay icon. I don't know if my jeans would sell quite as well as Mel, but they also put JLo like. spread eagle in a cheetah print bikini. You know what I mean? We are talking about the images. Let's be clear, but I know what you mean. Occasionally, some quotes will go viral because somebody says something out of pocket, which is great. Yeah, and he just picks the right people. You have to set the tone to get people to come out of pocket. And they trust him. J-Lo is not going to do anyone. I think people would buy your jeans in a second. I agree. All these dudes will be like, yeah. The strategist audience would be obsessed. The strategist audience can go fuck themselves. They hate me. They hate me. But yet they keep coming back for more punishment. And I try to make fun of them as much as I can in the actual writing, you know, to let them know that I do pay attention. And when I recommend something that is under $100, that's for all the broke boys in the comments. And I want to make sure they know that. I don't know why. The strategist is just too gen pop. You can't recommend anything that's not like a deal or they get mad. And you as a man who never thought Victoria's Secret was interesting, nothing about you is gen pop. That would be. horrible no no i i just don't i just think if you're asking me a specific question about stuff i just assume you want the best thing if you don't specify price in the question you know what i mean if you're if you're saying what is the best of this i'm gonna tell you what the best is that's not taking price into consideration that's two different things much to think about i hear you i'm sorry that they roast you and i think

If you released jeans that were like $600, it would be a great way to troll them specifically. I do want to troll them as much as possible. I feel like that's part of the job. I agree. Speaking of Mel, I had another thing before I forget. When I was listening to your pod, he was talking about how he finds RFK to be hot. And I wanted to see if you, I mean, not that you guys agree, but if you could even admit that there's a world where that could make sense. I really got to be careful here. I'm representing another company. This is what I will say. I don't know. I don't think I can say it. What I will say is in my... Let me be clear. In my text exchange... RFK is fuckable. Is he hot or not, Lauren? That situation. The would you rather. He definitely wins. What does that mean? What is the alternative? What is the alternative? I'll text it to you, Chantal. I'm not saying this person's name. Chantal, Lauren says that RFK is hot and sexy. What do you think, Chantal? No, but recently a friend of mine said, well, he is hot. Everyone agrees, right? And I was like, what? He's not hot. He looks crazy. But objectively, it's too much for someone that age. I think his body's pretty good. It's too much. There is. He's on. No, it's not. That's the dream. Too much. He's eating more than food. to look like that. If you ate raw whale, you could look like that too. He's eating St. Bernard's alive. He kind of looks like, you know, with the roly, squishy neck and face. When he was 19, he was probably hot. He looks like he's been dipped in acid like Terminator 1. When he was 19, he was definitely hot. Let's say it that way. They're all hot. I mean, that's what their lineage is about. It's not like they do anything. All the men are hot. Women continue to get more hot. As they get older, there's something beautiful about females, I just think. Thank you, Jason, for saying that. Yeah. Chantal, you're 22, 23? Yes, exactly. I thought so. It's crazy. You look great. Yeah, you look great. No, my parents met all my coworkers last night, and then they said, are you the oldest person that works at The Cut? I was like, oh, damn. You're like.

Fuck you, mom. Go away. Go home. Well, the janitor has been there for quite some time, but that's more the building than the publication. Well, we were at the beginning. I was asking about, you know, fraternities and all that stuff. But like in the heyday of Victoria's Secret, were you guys shopping there or were you kind of the bookish haters? I was part of the pink generation. You mean pink? You mean like the the lower tier like sweats brand that said. pink across the butt yeah like so pink but pink was also bras and underwear but it was it was just more it was for kind of that teenager so it was a lot more approachable i always found the victoria secrets think of it as a roxy chris exactly and it was yeah girlier a little more like varsity sweatpants but they had bras and underwear that which were like my first real bras and that appealed to me because it was a lot more approachable than the victoria secret side of the store was like frightening to me as a preteen because it was like a It was like a sexuality that I could never imagine having, and men were in there, and it just was like a lot. So I stuck to the girl power side or whatever, and that worked out fine for me. Yeah, there were a lot of men in Victoria's Secret back then for some reason. There was always like someone mingling around. You're like, what's happening here? Or like little horny teens, you know, that kind of thing. There's a lot of talent coming through those doors. I get it. Yeah, you got to go where they are. No good? No good? Okay. What do you guys think? About what? Obviously not. I was listening to Matthew Sweet and Big Star. That's the coolest thing that's ever been said on this podcast. Thank God somebody had the bravery. And shopping at Gap Body. Gap Body. You have to remember, I wanted to live in reality bites. I wanted to be like that. I wanted to be cool. Victoria's Secret is the opposite of that. Yeah. It wasn't cool, but I wanted to be cool. And Gap, for some reason, I just always liked Gap. But wasn't Victoria's Secret also kind of like the Kleenex of bra? You know what I mean? It was kind of like the brand. It was like the baseline. I would go there for $5 for $25. Yeah, yeah. Which was like five pairs of underwear for $25. But I wanted to look cool. I wanted to look like Gwyneth Paltrow. I, as a teenager, was like...

That is gross. I'm not interested in that. I did work there for a couple weeks in college. Ironically, I worked at Gap Body also in college. We switched places. At Gap Body, everybody was really into the fragrances. Everyone was collecting them. We all know the Gap Grass fragrance. We've talked about it on the show before. I was really into being indie, which is actually just a different kind of basic bitch. I wanted all the stuff that was like not connected to something like Victoria's Secret. I didn't listen to any pop music in high school. I was just like, I want to have a very particular way I do things. And it included Gap Body, but it didn't include Victoria's Secret. Maybe there's a store like Urban Outfitters or whatever. You could check that out for like an indie vibe. Yeah. Well, I didn't have it. Urban Outfitters in high school. I'm from Pittsburgh. They didn't even have that when I was in high school. You know, Lauren, I was going to bring this up to you. I got an email yesterday from the city of Pittsburgh inviting me to visit their beautiful town. Wow. Yeah. Should we go? I'm kind of down. Should we do a couples weekend? I'm kind of down because also I know that. Aren't there some big court like who else Dick's Sporting Goods is there? Maybe I can set up some meetings. Some of the big boys. American Eagle is there. You could hit up Jay Schottenstein and see if you can do some consulting for them. I love Aerie. That's really my vibe. Yeah. We can get Max Stein on that. Chris, that reminds me when we went on a government-sponsored trip to Nashville that was paid by... Yes, we did. Chantal and I went on a government-sponsored trip to Nashville years ago. That lasted an entire week. I was so zonked out on pills the whole time that I was the only one who had fun, for sure, because it was like... scheduled within an inch of our lives. It was just like every day. I'd never been on one of those before, and I was like, this is crazy. Why would anyone do this? Because you get paid? You don't get paid. No, but it was all free. But that was the beginning of when I was like, what does this man do? What is his job? It took me years to put it together after that trip. Well, I think part of my job on that trip was to mainly kick it. Well, yes, that's true.

This was a Libby Calloway operation. Yeah, totally. She was brought in to consult, but it was through the Nashville trade. Board of Tourism or whatever. Chantal, she's coming to our stuff next week. She's going to be in LA. That's awesome. She's a source in the book because she was working for the New York Post when Victoria's Secret did the Cannes fashion show and she was there. Let's talk about this Cannes fashion show because you guys brought it up twice. What is the lore of this particular trot? Wasn't Harvey Weinstein involved in this one? Yes, he was. I think it was his idea. There are a lot of movies in Con. I did not expect you two motherfuckers to come on this podcast and bring up Epstein and Harvey. You've been listening, and I appreciate it. That's why we wrote this book. And speaking of that, you know, of all, you know, Diddy, the one year where it's Black Met Gala and Diddy's behind bars, that's got to really sting the guy. Do you think the news has reached him in Sunset Park? Yeah, Diddy has a homing pigeon. He brings him all the news of the day, fashion music, stuff like that. I still think that Diddy is going to get maybe no jail time. I still think that maybe or maybe a very little bit. Well, the question is. Are they using him to get the big bait that we're not going to say here because we don't want to get sued? Jay-Z and Beyonce? What Illuminati member are you talking about? Jason just said it. Okay, so you're saying there's a theory out here that Diddy is merely a snack and Beyonce is the meal. I didn't. Jason said two people's names. Okay, so you're saying the couple. And, you know, Drake recently posted a picture of Solange in the cab after the elevator incident. which does seem leading as well. That's a likely thing for Drake to do. That's awesome. I need to investigate this. I think that between Beyonce and Taylor Swift, I think one of them is more evil than someone like Diddy, is the reality. I think he got caught up. Wow, what a thing to say. Well, I just think they're better at it. Diddy's too old. He was too brazen. He was doing awful shit, but he was too confident in it.

Okay, so you think that Taylor Swift has time to traffic as many humans as Jay-Z? I don't know about that. That's what I feel like you're saying, Chris. I think Taylor Swift drinks blood. I think it's beyond that. I think it's fully beyond that. I really do. Is that your phone? Tree is calling. She's already intercepted this operation. Chris, do you mean like in a biohacking kind of way? Yeah, exactly. She's trying to live forever. Okay. I was listening to the Joe Budden podcast, actually, and they were talking about how they think since Taylor started dating Travis Kelsey, that her ass has gotten a little fatter because that's what he's into. Interesting. And I haven't noticed that, but it would kind of make sense based on Travis's past conquest. I think she looks thicker, but here's the thing. She's 33 or 34 years old, and we've been looking at her since she was 14. Yeah, that's true. She just looks like a woman. Whoa, not all of us. Yeah, I don't know what you're talking about. No, you're right. You're absolutely right. So you're saying it could just be old age is why things are starting to hang differently. Like she has like a real body. And she's also really athletic. So she's like, God, I mean, she must work out like crazy. She just looks like, I mean, thick has so many connotations, but she just looks like she's not. And she's not a small boned person. Yeah, I would agree. She's been a dog pound putting in the work. She's doing her box jumps and whatnot. Yeah. So hold on. Now, this is something that's often discussed as well. And I have my theories on it. And Lauren, you and I have talked about Blake Lively, the cancer to fashion that exists out there. But Taylor Swift dresses poorly on purpose. We all agree. That's a thing that she does because it keeps. her humble to her fan base in a Carolyn Calloway type of way. I don't think I think she has bad taste also. I think it makes her happy and she doesn't want to pretend to be cooler than she is. But I agree with all of that. But I think that is self-serving for career purposes. I don't know if that's necessarily a natural occurrence, maybe subconscious. I don't think like Blake Lively thinks Blake Lively has great taste. She really like takes pride in how I don't think I think Taylor Swift.

understands that she's not miss fashionista or whatever but it may be subconscious but anything taylor does is by definition self-service for her career that's a good point yeah i mean but blake really thinks she has that shit on so to speak yes oh yeah yeah she like poor thing really i don't know if you watched any promo for that crazy movie she was in but at one point because a lot of the clothing in the movie is hers and one of the co-stars like the young girls like those were your jeans Blake and and the brand of the jeans is like Magnolia B or something terrible it's just like it's so like demure about it I was just like oh you I you have no self-awareness whatsoever that is the problem I think it's I think it's what makes people like you we're talking about two people who are very rich and successful because that is feels more approachable yeah than someone who is quote unquote cool you know it's like relatable like that's like well i don't i think that blake lively actually isn't very likable and that's coming out oh no she's a she's a blood-sucking demon as well but i think that it's in a different way in a different way she's a nasty bitch i mean that movie like the stories about why that movie went wrong and how that guy got thrown into the bus but that no that guy is I think they're all bad actors. All bad actors. The story about him having a back problem and having to pick her up, so he asked her how much she weighed, and that was it. That was why the movie went off the rails. That's as good as it gets. That's as good as it gets. It's really good. Really good. Love that. Man, I need something like that to happen again so I can write about their press tour. I need a really off-the-rails press tour to happen for me to write about it. Don't worry, darling. style situation. There's a little bit of Joker 2 right now. There's a lot of press tour drama. You know who looked good on the Joker 2 at Venice is Joaquin Phoenix. He's looking really good. Joaquin Phoenix looks cool. He looks really good. He's also walking the whole ass smack. The story is he's single now, so maybe he's trying to get his swag back. Oh, I hadn't heard that. Very small children. I'm not saying that's a How Long Gone exclusive, but I've heard from sources. Oh, man. Well, he...

had a glow up i was like what happened that and then i realized and i felt uncomfortable that it was joaquin phoenix i can't put my finger on it as clearly as i could with john mulaney's shin but something happened well he definitely is working out okay he let his hair go gray and he's not like hunching what was he wearing something he had a white t-shirt on he looked yeah he was tan maybe who is that and sought it out he's looking like money and it was him and i was like look so he looks healthy he's been focusing on himself definitely focused on himself he's just grinding right now i didn't i mean the press tour i mean i i feel like the the one we needed was adam brody and kristin bell that's the only thing i've heard people talk about and i didn't watch the program but i did read a story yesterday on billboard about how like There's a lot of indie music that's gotten a crazy lift. I guess there's a lot of music in that show. But how bad is it? Look, you should watch the show. You should watch it. Watch the first three episodes. I watched it. You need to watch it. Jason, is it something I might like? You will not like it, but you'll watch every single minute of it to the end. There are some episodes that become Jewish propaganda. I'm not saying that's good or bad, but it is interesting. Well, it's actually, I'd say, the opposite of that. Like they lean into negative stereotypes. Yeah, like negative stereotypes. It's also like the Judaism is just like a barrier that never gets explained. You don't really learn anything about it. But they are both... You know what I found out? They're both really good actors. We've been known, sis. Adam Brody's one of those great guys who just like, he's got the Shep thing, Jason. Every woman would have sex with him. Doesn't matter how old they are, where they encountered him. Here is the thing about him because his features are very fine, which is like, I'm not into that. Also, he comes off as the kind of person that is like, I'm a really nice guy.

I hate that. Okay, Chantal, what's your take on Brody? What's your take on Brody? You'd let him give you a spin around town. Chantal's type, exactly. I was part of an OC fan club. I had a physical card that came with it that had his face on it. So a little bit of a biased opinion. He's charming enough to make up for all the weirdness in that show. I think he's attractive. I feel like in this whole Gen, they're actually Gen X guys who are coming back. No one is talking about Scott Speedman, who is unequivocally the hottest one of all of them. He's way hotter than Joshua Jackson. Scott Speedman lived next door. to one of our friends, I would see him a lot. I've seen him at least three times a year for my entire adult life. Oh, Speedman. Running. I saw him a month ago at an Armani thing in L.A. I bet Speedman, he's got an old Porsche and a new Porsche and a 22-year-old girlfriend. I saw him running around the reservoir once. Shirt on or off? I think it was... I think it was on, but it was great. Somebody go over and hose Lauren Sherman down, please. Sherman's getting hot. She's getting hot under the collar. She just went to a different place. Imagine if Chris and I talked about women like this. Could you believe it? That's insane. Did you watch Felicity? He doesn't move the needle for me. Do you have eyes, bitch? I don't understand how people are talking about Joshua Jackson and Adam Brody and not talking about Scott Speedman. Because they actually work and Scott Speedman doesn't. He's Don Grayson. gray's anatomy season 65 is not really burning the barn he i he is i would say he's not as good of an actor as the other two the other two are much better actors but he is forever like forever he's one of your he's like a jordan catalano for you yeah like way more than but i'm saying he's silly because you saw him in a coming of age he is I was obsessed with my so-called life, but always thought that Jared Leto seemed a little weird. Yes. Like I was like 16 when Felicity started. He is like always number one or two for me. This is good. He is a little short, but this is, is this something, is this how long gone exclusive or have you spoken publicly about your love for Speedman before? I talk about it all the time. It's very possible that Speedman is listening. Who knows? If he's jogging, if he's jogging around the reservoir.

You know, one of your one really funny story, and then I'll stop co-opting this, but I was invited to the Balmain designer's birthday party in L.A. once. I'm sorry. Olivier Roosting or whatever his name is. Yeah, I've seen his face. It was all celebrities and like Kardashians, Willow Smith, people like that. And they were all on the dance floor. And then there were all these dorky reporters, me, someone from WWD. And some stylists and Scott Speedman. And Scott Speedman stayed with us because he was more like us. than all the weird celebrities you know what lauren i will say that scott speedman is more like us than he is willow smith i'll i'll go with you i didn't think i was i didn't think i could follow you but you know what i agree with you and that's a lauren i gotta say did this really happen or is this like a fanfic that you wrote okay okay this is from lauren's live journal and then scott decided to come hang out with me in the nerds dance floor several people i would not have been able to he said i was hotter than kim kardashian it was i was like if you say so He was talking to Jessica DeRoyter, the stylist, who's really hot. So, like, whatever. I mean, he was talking to a hot normal. I think Scott's doing just fine. I bet hot normal might be his strike zone. He was married or dating a publicist at one point. Scott could be valeting cars at Cheesecake Factory. He's fucking anywhere. Yeah, 100%. Yeah, he's making martinis at Funky, and he's pulling. Lauren, at the end of your last episode with Scott Sternberg. Oh, my God. Equally handsome. Thanks for listening to my podcast, Jason. This is so nice. Well, you know, your podcast is free. Puck ain't. And you were mentioning you would like to do a deep dive on the row, maybe in the same style that you gave a deep dive on Sexy. There's the it factor, the mystery. How is this simple, plain, nondescript brand so successful?

Do you think you're going to find someone and get to the bottom of the story? Here's the thing. Maybe, Chris, do you want to do it? Why would I want to do that? You're married to a rowaholic just like me. I can't find anyone who knows as much about it as me. I know a lot about it. Who can do it. The problem is everyone I know who knows a lot about the business is like friends with them. or knows that would do that would that would hurt me socially in a way that i'm not willing to do i guess that's true you probably do hang out with them sometimes like this is the issue like i need someone who is completely and jacob gallagher doesn't want to do it because he's like i don't there's definitely somebody up out there who's willing to kamikaze their plane and go against the there's not going to be anything negative but i do need someone to like go through it with me and explain why They are doing so well. And the problem is like literally everyone I know who knows a lot about their business is connected to them somehow. And that and they are obviously very private and would like excommunicate them. So I need to find. And there aren't really a lot of writers who... Someone said Matt Schneier maybe, but I want to have Matt on to talk about his new job. Chantal, would you fall on the sword? No, I don't think so. I need a break. It's not worth it. What exactly is... I don't understand what the elephant in the room is. To me, I look at the row and it's quiet, luxury. It's like Laura Piana, but 90% of Laura Piana is ugly. 90% of the row is good. So, like, that's it. Yes, you're 100% right. But the issue is they just got a valuation north of $1.1 billion from the family that owns Chanel, the family that got rich off of L'Oreal, Nick Brown and Natalie Massenet and Lauren Sanchez Domingo. Every single person in the fashion industry is like, How do I get my... None of them are going to do it. None of them will ever be able to do it. But how do I get my brand to the point where I get this valuation and get these fancy investors? And if I did a podcast to break down what has made them so successful, which would be 99.9% positive, people would listen to it. The issue is...

They don't want anyone to write about anything about them, which whatever, that's their prerogative. They would have your picture up in all of the stores in the break room. I mean, they know me. She's not allowed me. So you're saying like, even though 99% of what you would say is positive, you're like, and in 2021, they made this decision and that was really smart. I wrote about that they were raising money. Like investors, stuff that they don't want public. Lauren, it's understandable. Do you think they remember when you called them Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen that one time in business fashion? Yes. Well, now I do it on purpose. But they were so mad. But the thing was, that wasn't my fault. It was the managing editor put in, because you know that they used to request that you say Ashley and Mary-Kate Olsen. And not Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. And everyone did it. That's cool. And you know what I decided the last, like, six months, I was like, I'm going back. And I just started doing it again. It just sounds phonetically better, yeah, if you do Mary-Kate and Ashley. I'm not going to call Twitter X. Yeah, and you know what? I have massive respect for them, and also if they want to be this private, it worked. They did the right thing. The fact that they don't want to tell me all their trade secrets, I get them from other people. It's fine. They don't have to. It's just hard because I would like to do this podcast. Maybe I should just do it solo. That would be super annoying. All right. Thank you, guys. I know you have to go. Selling Sexy is in stores everywhere. You can buy it. You can listen to it. You can purchase it at Barnes & Noble or McNally Jackson. Is that correct? Yes. Though I think we sold out of the Seaport location earlier this week. Oh, okay. All right. Relax. Okay. This isn't for hot dogs. Hopefully they got another boat coming in. Buy it anywhere that you want. You can buy it on Amazon. Buy it anywhere. Yeah. Don't buy it on bookshop.org. They hate that. They prefer Amazon is what I heard. We don't care. Just buy it. We appreciate it, ladies. Thank you. It was a pleasure. Thank you. This was really fun. Thanks, guys.