867. - Ezra Marcus

All right, this episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Stateside with Kai and Carter, a new podcast from The Guardian. And they are using this podcast to slow down the news and wrestle with the questions that we all have about what's happening in the world. And they do it three times a week, Jason. Does that sound familiar to you? We don't really talk about, you know, a lot of international global news items and climates and cultures and sports and things like that. We do talk about fashion and wellness, but for everything else, Kai and Carter are a great place. All right, so who couldn't use more news? Listen wherever you get your podcast. or watch on YouTube. How long gone? It's a beautiful fall Thursday here in New York City. The leaves are changing, Jason. The guys are still outside shirtless doing muscle-ups. Everything is right with the world. Now I'm starting to realize why you chose the apartment that you live in. A lot of muscle-ups. If I can see muscle-ups from my dining table, all things are right with the world. That's when you put that A2 digestive ice cream pistachio graza collab down when you see the muscle-up happening, don't you? I don't even put it down. I drop it because I need my hands to mimic the muscle-up, to do some push-ups to try to match these fucking guys. It ain't easy. How's your burpees going? I mean, I don't actually hate burpees. I don't do them. I like doing a nice slow burpee. You know what I mean? We don't need to be so bouncy and explosive. Let's sort of take the fun out of this thing and make it slow and painful. Like the part where you go, your hands are on the ground, and then you kick your feet back into the push-up position. Yeah, of course. That's the part where it gets the most dangerous, especially with my long frame.

But then when you go from push-up position and then you jump back up to the little froggy squat, that's fine. No problem. And then the jump up, that's fine. But the other one, you know, it's fucking up your form. I don't love it. It's a Barry's exercise. I feel like that's where I was really forced to do those often. And it's much like the Bulgarian split squat. It's something I'll do if I have to, but if Hunter puts the gun to my head, I'm going to do it, but I don't want to do it. I've been Bulgarian lately, actually. I found my spot. You know where the foam roller's cut in half? A little semicircle? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do that. Use that as the... Oh, add that. Oh, I see. Put that on top of the bench or whatever so your foot is resting properly. No, no, no. Put that on the ground so your foot that's on the floor... And it helps you, at least me, it helps me like. Balance. Find like the right sweet spot so you can feel it all the way through your glute. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. I've been doing, instead of those, I looked up some alternatives and I've been doing some sort of high box step ups to work on my explosiveness like we're talking about. Because what, I mean. Every day is the field or the court for both of us. So I think explosiveness is something we both need to lock into. Wow, so fucking true, man. So fucking true, man. I went on an explosive bike ride yesterday, really just cranked those hills. The NAD Plus was helping take me to the next level. All we can do is try to get to the next level, whatever that may be. I felt like an absolute... I mean, for some reason, that flight yesterday back from San Francisco to New York really... turned me out i i felt fucking awful i think i could figure out the reason let me know what time you woke up to go to the airport uh it was a 4 a.m wake up you said wheels up at 5 45 wheels up was five i think it was maybe 55 it was pre 6 a.m which i i feel like i don't find that very often in the in the delta universe even in even in europe or anywhere else but i

I was able to get back by, you know, 4 p.m., which was, you know, best-case scenario considering. Still not great, damn. No. I mean, there was, of course, a short layover in the beautiful Detroit airport. I know you're familiar with it, so I got to walk. Oh, you got to lay. I got 10,000 steps going from gate to gate in the same terminal. So things were – that was nice. A little leg stretch. I didn't mind that except the rush. I don't like that feeling of when you land and you're boarding. You know what I mean? In the labor situation? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a little frantic. It's nice to have, like... 17 minutes to kill. Yes, exactly. But I felt like I felt like it did. It's sharpening my tools, my efficiency, you know, my like, how good am I at this? You know, like, how real is it? How good am I? How quickly can I make it? How can I navigate? How can I get around these old people? If Delta is listening, they're gonna be like, we don't even need to give this guy 360. It sounds like he's already maximized his efficiency as much further than we could. I mean, they closed all the airports today, I guess. At least I missed that. But apparently it's only going to last for a couple days, hopefully. I keep reading about this. Where did you read that, that it's only going to last a couple days? Well, I just keep reading this, and then I go to the airport, and everything's fine. And I see all these videos of it being a nightmare, and then I go to the airport, and it's fine. I mean, it's the same thing when Newsom posts a photo of L.A. What do you mean homeless people? Everything's fine. I don't see it. I don't see it on my walk to go get Alfred. I think that's a little different because just the size of the Los Angeles area is a little larger than the exact airport. Or, I mean, that was just one example. You could say that for anywhere of anything. But it's different when you read a news headline saying, Newark Airport has grounded all flights, and then you go to Newark Airport, get on an airplane, and fly. It is a little like, what's going on here exactly? It's confusing.

But look, we got to pay these guys. We got to get these TSA guys. As much as I hate them, we got to get them back to work. I don't want to fuck up my flow. We got places to be, people to see. Give those guys their minimum wage back. Let them search my bags. Let them have bad attitudes. My favorite ones that think they're performers, failed actors that like to talk too much and use their hands. Give these people their jobs back. We need to fly. I had a funny one because sometimes when you do get a good TSA person who's directing and yelling and do this and that, you get the people that overperform where you kind of feel like you have to give them a courtesy giggle. But then you get the other people, a rare one, where they say the perfect amount of things. with the perfect attitude. And there was a guy who was doing that, just being informative and helpful, no extra bullshit, no fluff. And I was like, hey, man, thanks for doing a good job today. I know the airport's crazy. And he looks straight into my eyes and he goes, shit, I ain't doing that much. That response lets me know that he wasn't doing exactly. Exactly what you said perfectly. That response tells me everything I need to know. I'm just sitting here in Terminal 4 digging in my butt telling people you can't bring a laptop through without taking it out of your bag. I'm just screaming no water at these white folks. I don't know what you're talking about, man. All I know is... I confiscated someone's Jersey Mike and it's underneath the bag in the trash can. And when it would go into the back, I'm going to pull it out and it's actually going to be hidden in there. I want to, we should talk. I would love to talk to an anonymous. If you work at TSA and you're anonymous, please get in touch. I would love to ask about who's taken home. What you work at TSA and you're anonymous. This one's for you. Because I just, I just want to know, like, I know some of you motherfuckers that like, that's a scammer job. That's that's like a job you get because you have to because the court mandated it. But you're still a scammer and you have to be taking the lotions and potions and creams that you confiscate. Like you start to learn what's worth what, you know, you start to learn that like, oh, that's a three hundred dollar.

cream if i put that in in my fucking chick-fil-a bag i can go flip that on ebay at least or on the street there's so much profit to be made interesting because sometimes if they take something you see them make kind of a performative gesture of throwing it away in front of you to like reassure you that none of us are taking home any of these creams and i just think i think one of these guys from the bronx has figured out what augustine's batter is And he's like, wait a second. There's a 59-year-old man at the Pittsburgh airport who knows about the orally spring-summer 25 collection, which pieces are going for what. Yeah, like we're going to break in. Yeah, oh, sorry. Yeah, I just think it's too easy. He's like, what kind of lenses on that contacts? Yeah, we're going to need to go into secondary. That's a perfect point where a camera like that looks like some old junk. Unless you know what it is. And then you're like, wait a second, this is very valuable. But I think with the toiletries, they literally have to take them. So you can't do anything about it. So then it's like, well, do I really want to throw this away? It's so wasteful. I would prefer they take it. So every TSA agent, you go into their house, you open up the medicine cabinet, all the new Freddy Mal, all the AB. How come this motherfucker's medicine cabinet looks like blue mercury? This is crazy. You thought I was a crip. All this AB I got in the medicine chest. Fuck you, man. I look old as hell, but somehow I'm looking like blue mercury on the inside. Blue M&M. I don't understand how this... This under-eye pads don't even come out until next week. I think you could really give yourself an education on skin care and hydration just by stealing the stuff that you're supposed to throw away. You thought you knew all the Marvis flavors? No, no, no. Imagine the TSA in Milan. They got unreleased. They got shit I've never heard of. TSA. They got flavors that are so bad that no one wants them. It's gotten to that point. It's gotten to that point.

How much licorice mint can we really stomach over here? Who wants the Hojicha? No, I'm good. No more. I'm good. Let's put that up in the break room. We can just kind of flip a coin for that one. Whoever wants it. Oh, Jesus Christ. I went to a movie screening. Shout out to my Neon family last night. Sentimental Value. Saw some friends of the show there. Lionel and Ayo. And who else was there? Carrie. Kenneth from 30 Rock up in there. One of the greats. That was a rare sighting. Is he in it? I mean, he's obviously a cinema lover. I thought he could maybe have a little part. It's because the Skarsgård dad plays the male lead in it, and I know that Jack and Skarsgård have a will-they-won't-they sort of hetero slash... question mark friendship right okay you've seen the photos and the posts right i i mean all these actors gay baiting um i can't keep track uh if if i'm being completely honest with you sure sure sure sure was the movie good it was good i did get a nice little nappy in there at some point what it wouldn't be a film without that for me but yeah it was it was good i mean you know it's it's a film that you really got to be in the mood for it's you know over two hours and it's about you know scandinavian Family, familiar life and struggles. That does sound pretty good. I mean, it's not Selling Sunset Season 9, but it sounds pretty good. It was amazingly done, definitely. It won an award at Cannes, and I think it was a good one. Not no little one. But yeah, it was good. It was great. It was at the Director's Guild Theater, right next door to the Griddle. Oh, sure. The Griddle's still open, right? It's still open, and I was... I was reminiscing of when you would go there and you would ask for the secret off-menu pancake waffles, and you would have to say the password, supercalifragilistice, you know, the whole thing. And then they're like, that's how you get the secret pancakes. And basically all it is is they take waffle batter and make pancakes with it, or they take...

pancake batter and make waffles i mean that's pretty i forgot which one it was genius i have to say and that place there used to be a line that was like one of the first lines i ever saw like at a restaurant you know what i'm saying that's like really one of the first things i was like 2005 era wait in line for an hour and a half to have your hangover brunch the good the good hangover brunch i saw that there's pictures of the uh of the new the public that's, that's going to where the standard was. Lynn posted some, I think there was a reporter story about it. Yeah. I got to look, I got to look. Cause I, I need to see what they're doing. Cause they can't change the structure cause it's protected, but obviously they're going to tear the guts out. Like it's a, you know, I mean, it's a, it's a full gut ran out, but we're going to keep all the charm. Cause I mean, it's the, uh, is it the first oceans 11 movie where, brad pitt is the owner of that hotel and they blow up his car in the parking lot oh shit maybe toby mcguire is like having a freak out in one of the rooms he has to calm him down like that's the level that's like the era of i love hollywood bullshittery that i'm loving of toby mcguire doing his vegan coke at the standard hotel in west hollywood having a fucking freak out all right we got a guest today is this coke vegan That's what my fentanyl strips are. It's actually for animal parts. All right, we have a guest today, Ezra Marcus, friend of the show, a writer, a man about town. He's apparently, I've seen some DJ gigs lately hitting his resume, which we'll need to obviously. Yeah, you can talk to him about writing, and I'll talk to him about being in the mix. We'll grill him on both. Great head of hair on this guy. All right, let's give him a call. This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by a new podcast from The Guardian stateside with Kai and Carter. This is covering a lot of our bases, Jason. It's trying to slow down. The news and wrestle with the questions we all have about what's happening in the world. And I know you particularly have quite a lot of questions. A lot of questions. But how often? Because we do this podcast three times a week and that's a sweet spot. How many times do they do? Three times a week. And I have a feeling just based on the platform and these talking points that they're maybe going to be covering different stuff than we do. That's just a guess. The Guardian is not some billionaire owned.

They're not afraid to say what they want to say, brother. Yeah, Rupert ain't sniffing around in what journalists Kai Wright and Carter Sherman are up to over there at Stateside. But yeah, listen wherever you get your podcasts. You can watch it on YouTube. It's three times a week. And who couldn't use more news? Especially when it's not from here, let's say. Give it a listen. Give it a listen. All right, this episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Quince. Jason, the temps are warming up. It's getting hot out there. Summer always changes how I get dressed. I need pieces that feel lighter, more breathable, and they're just easy but still put together. I don't look like a slob. That's why I keep coming back to Quince. They focus on high-quality essentials that feel and look amazing. Breathable linen and soft organic cottons. Well-made basics but without the luxury markups. That rare balance where everything feels elevated. but still effortless. Yeah, Chris, linen season is here. I wore a linen blazer to dinner a few nights ago in the warm California sun. But, you know, you got that Italy trip coming up this summer and quality European linen pants and shirts. Upgrade that look starting at just $34. You know, if you get a nice linen suit, a little t-shirt underneath it, some chill shoes, you're looking good, but you're staying cool. The inside of your special areas are nice and dry as you turn up with your besties. So elevate that summer wardrobe. Go to quince.com slash how long for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns, even on a nice holiday now available in Canada. That is Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash how long. That'll get you free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince punto com slash how long. This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Squarespace. Obviously, Jason, you and I spend a lot of time on the World Wide Web. So do our peers, our listeners, our friends, our colleagues, maybe even your parents if they're freaky. And if you're doing anything in the world.

writing, taking pictures. I do topless boxing. You need a website. Exactly. A website that works, that does what it's supposed to do, that allows you to be creative but also business-minded. Jason, there's one place to go for that, Squarespace. Yeah, Chris, I'm over here. I'm modifying calculators. I'm putting Claude inside of them so you could cheat at school. And I just want a place where I could have everything all in one place. I can have the SEO tools. So those future graduates can find me. And, you know, I'm able to accept, quote, unquote, donations for my services that might be gray area. You know what I mean? And then email campaigns. Hey, I got a new, you know, 2.3 version upgrade. Boom, boom, boom. Get the analytics going. Raise some money. You know, show your investor all of your cool analytics of what's going on. They're going to want to get in early. And we can use Blueprint AI to make your website look as professional. as your competition, if not more. So head to squarespace.com slash how long for a free trial. When you're ready to launch, use offer code how long to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain. All right, what's up, big bro? How are you? Not much, man. How are you guys? It's good. It's a beautiful fall day in New York, and we're inside podcasting, how God intended. It's a beautiful fall day in L.A., and I'm inside podcasting. Yeah, exactly. Cheers. What's up with you, bro? Not much. I just moved. I'm like three blocks away from the... Dime Square, Thunderdome. Well, as a local politician in the area, I'm glad you can stay in your jurisdiction. Yeah, but it's just far enough away so I don't have to be accosted by my, you know. Sure. I haven't been over there in a while. I need to walk over there. Maybe I'll go over there today, see what's going on. You want to be close, but not too close. That's why I live where I am. You're just removed enough, but you're still within striking distance if you need to go. you know do whatever look at some 19 year olds practice their kickflips in the middle of a closed off street um sample the latest in fentanyl at seward park that's that's actually the real new york experience that people are looking for they come here and they stay in brooklyn and they want to get a picture of the bridge and stuff but really they say i read about this place called cookies in one of this guy ezra's articles in the new yorker

And then they show up and it's nothing but fentanyl and you feel responsible, don't you? What happened to what happened to cookies? Is it still kicking? Yeah, actually, that's I'm glad that we brought that up because I was just thinking because you wrote that article about the rise of cookies, the marijuana dispensary that uses streetwear like marketing tactics to sell drugs. That was like a year ago, you know, a year and a half ago, whatever. And there were cookies is all over. And I just searched this morning all the L.A. cookies. gone there's just the one like distribution center in like the middle of like industrial haywood california near nothing you know that's crazy in the role in 60s i didn't know that i mean i i i get the sense that that I mean, they were certainly making a lot of money, but it was a little bit more of like a brand with intense loyalty among a very certain kind of guy and less of like a super coherent business proposal. But that's actually that's how we describe how long gone as well. Which is which is an odd turn away from most dispensaries who usually have a pretty airtight business plan and cap table in place. Right. But cookies did cookies did popularize the sort of. How would I say it? It had like a nice high-end Ziploc closure system on the bag that you could almost carry like a Pouché. It's sort of a clutch-style marijuana holder. But did that closure system, that kept the smell inside? Was that part of it as well? I don't know. I think that question might be a little bit – I'm probably – I'm likely better suited to answer that than Ezra is. Back in my day, I used to have to buy these special bags that were called – I think they were called stink-proof. My shit was so loud that I didn't want it to smell just sitting in the cabinet. I didn't want to have that smell. Your gelato was way too stanky. Way too stanky. The times that I've bought weed has exclusively been given to me in the most crinkled piece of saran wrap. That's too nice for what they're giving it to me. Was this in college?

you know, in your adult life in the last few years? Mostly in college and high school, and then I actually had a, I'm not remembering, I had a disaster experience maybe 10 or 11 years ago when I was just starting out in media. I was covering this random-ass music festival in Delaware, and my friend was driving us around down there, and he was like, I'm going to show you guys, like, the real Delaware. We're going to go to the other side. I was like, okay. You're going to O-Block, Delaware. Yeah. It ain't sweet. Let me tell you, there's no Bidens over on this side. But he was like, we can pull up, and this guy's like, you guys want hard or soft? I was like, what? You're like, bro, I don't want any dick, bro. That's not what I'm here for. I know it's the other side. He's like, no, no. He's like, I just want weed, man. He wasn't trying to buy heroin or whatever. And the guy comes back. The guy who's like – I don't even think this guy was a drug dealer. I think he was just a random crackhead. And he goes – he comes back with – hands us like a piece of styrofoam folded in half. And we drive away. And we look like, okay, what have we got here? And it was – Literally just a handful of grass off the street. Dude, styrofoam doesn't even bend that well. It's a crunch. Don't tell the crackhead you can't bend a piece of styrofoam. Give him 10 seconds, he'll figure it out. I've gotten some crazy drug delivery systems in my time, and I was always really impressed when I first moved to New York that weed was so organized here, and the guy would show up with almost what looked like a camera. backpack a photographer backpack yeah and he would have him pack he'd have and he'd have cases on the inside he'd open them up there'd be jars it'd all be labeled it was very professional But, yeah, I mean, I've gotten Coke folded up in paper before, which is one of the worst of all time because it's tough to use in a bathroom. You've got to kind of lay it all out on a table. And also you can't just lick the paper. You've got to eat it. Exactly. You have to eat the paper. Where did it come from? Well, I don't know if you've ever experienced parachuting. It was something very popular when I was younger where you would sort of just tie up. If you didn't want to.

just do nummies of Molly. You would sort of tie it up in a piece of toilet paper, like a small balloon, and just toss it back, wash it down with water. It was the cheap version of making your own vitamins, let's say, with capsules. In the culinary world, it's called a bouquet garni. It's where you're able to sort of steep whatever you need to do, and then it's easily removed. I know you're a writer. I'm sure you're sipping on some green... For me, I don't know where this idea came from, and maybe it was real, but in college, it was ubiquitously understood that Molly worked so much better if it was with orange juice. Yeah. I think that came from Gucci Mane somehow, and it would just be a sort of like OJ Molly concoction. Well, my first foray was with mushrooms, and they would say, you always drink orange juice with the mushrooms because it'll... It does a good job at disguising and covering the awful taste. Sure. But then the citrus in the OJ and the vitamin C, it really turns up the Vigies. And I think the Vigies... you know i don't know how you you know the vigies on molly not as powerful but i'm calling bullshit i'm calling bullshit on all this right now and this definitely big big oj chris has always been a vigy hater though no minute made yeah minute planted this in the high schools yeah minute made psyop once again i don't i don't like visuals i think that's That's not the kind of drugs that I was interested in. I barely want to see what's actually real in front of me. Definitely not what's in my mind's eye. You're a bitch. I love it when a tree turns into a skull. You went to high school in what? Pacific Northwest or San Francisco? I went to Berkeley High School in Berkeley, California. I was in Berkeley literally two days ago. He had dinner at Ye Panisse just two days ago, right? Oh, no way.

I was at Ye Panisse having four salads, the best restaurant in the world. Upstairs or downstairs? Upstairs. That's the way to do it. I've actually never eaten downstairs. I'm not really interested in it. Me neither. Yeah, what's your history with Chez Panisse, Ezra? My grandmother would always take me for my birthday, big occasions. Graduation, birthday, all that shit? Was your grandmother gang with Alice Waters? My grandma took me to... marie calendars you got to go to i don't know if my grandmother ever took me out to eat ever so that you guys both beat me wow it's a race to the bottom grandma gang was grant was grandma gang with alice waters or she just had good taste no i think she was just like she was just a kind of i think the whole my whole family they're they're really kind of you know how some people it's like that Fresh ingredients is literally all they think about at any given time. It's all they talk about. Yeah, I'm on a podcast with him three times a fucking day. Good ingredients in, good ingredients out. It's not that hard, guys. It's not that hard. What's my job as a storyteller? Just to not fuck up what Mother Nature created, okay? So you're saying that your family, based on the birth of the location, this isn't a total shock. They love... fresh produce and high-quality ingredients. Yeah, you say it like it's a derogatory... No, no, no. I mean, it's really... It's very endearing, and I think that they're absolutely right. I will say that 60% of what my grandmother talks about is the seasonality of corn, et cetera. This is literally Jason. This is what Jason talking about. Yo, what's her at, though? What's her at? Let's get her on. Bro, you should pull up to the Berkeley Hills. You guys could chef it up. So is she a home cook and a gardener and stuff, or is she just a passionate eater? She a munch. Well, she has four kids. She's a parking lot demon. Sorry, sorry. I'm sorry, Miss Marcus. I am so real. She's an excellent chef. Definitely in a kind of Alice Waters. I mean, she was from New England, so she moved out to Berkeley.

later i could hand her a persimmon and she would just smell it and go no she will she has a harsher she has a kind of harsher criteria at the supermarket or the farmer's market yep then like i don't even know like future at magic city it she is like exactly what she's looking for 95 so she's like wizz khalifa at the cookie sample sale just like very like Yeah. Birds of a feather with me, I will say. Did any of that rub off on you or are you more of a McDonald's Chick-fil-A Taco Bell type cat? I'm somewhere in the middle. I love like, you know, I love eating crazy food. I love going to like, you know, deep Queens. real Thai food, what have you, but I'll also go to the most like dusty ass supermarket and buy the like half rotten onion. Cause I'm bored and like not paying attention. I think it's all kind of, kind of fake to a certain extent. I also think it's fake. Well, I don't think it's fake. I think that there is a, I think that 95 to 99% of people cannot actually tell the difference of. most thing, the quality of most things, unless they spent a lot of time trying to develop that. I think, I think I agree. And I think there's a certain kind of performativity to it where somebody will get like, you know, the heirloom tomato from the farmer's market. And it's this like full, they have to perform this like full body orgasmic. This is so, and it's like. Blind taste test, that's probably about the same to that person as, like, random shit. We do that with everything, though. I do that with my fucking Birkin, you know? I pull it out, and I say, damn, it's so nice because I spent $18,000 on it. And a blind taste test with that and the coach bag. 99% of people won't be able to tell the difference. I could look for the proper hardware and stamping, but I know what you mean. I know what you mean. You are the 1%, Chris. Your gay ass is the 1% in this instance. No, but I think that with, I say this all the time about food because I go to these places that are so good and I'm like, yeah, this is good as hell. And then I go to places that are less good and I'm also like, this is good as hell. And I know they're different because one costs a lot more and people really care about going there.

But I don't think I am. I can tell. We all have our things that we can tell. Y'all ain't super tasters. You're super dressers. I'm a super taster. Jason, could you taste a cigarette taste test? How do you think you'd do if I gave you five different cigs? As long as they're brands that I have had experience with. Yeah. No problem. No problem. Okay. See, that's the other thing. I'll do a Hestia. I'll do a Parliament. Marlboro Light. Turkish. Camel. I could even do a Lucky Strike. They're toasted. This is going to sound really stupid, but I only got into smoking cigarettes in the last year and a half. And so I'm now just trying them all out. And I can barely tell the difference. They're all so good. Okay, you're easy when it comes to nicotine addiction. You got the heirloom Marlboro Light, and you're super happy with it. It's all good. I'll get a carton of Hestia's over to the house, Ezra. Don't worry. We were talking about DJing on the intro. You invited me to go see you DJ at Jeans on Halloween night, and I went there after Tame Impala, and there was like 700 people in line, so we didn't get in. So how was it? It was awesome. I mean, I love DJing. I've been doing it for a long time. It's kind of all I actually ever want to do. Really? Absolutely. It pays more than writing. That's for sure. It pays more. It matters more. I think we can get to the bottom. Look, I know you wear glasses and shit, but let's just be honest. DJing gets more pussy, and that's what you want to say, but you don't want to say it. Or dick. That's true. And the family is more impressed by DJing nowadays than they were back in my day. Yeah, did your parents understand that at all? They were just kind of like... okay, if you're happy and having fun, it's fine. It's no problem. But it was more so like, hey, I'm DJing at this massive rave. And they're like, I'm DJing at the Olympic arena. And they're like, okay, cool. But then if I'm playing at a dive bar and it's in the classified section of the LA Weekly, they're like, oh, shit, bro, you're in print. I would be upset if your mom was hyped on hard festival. But I think that...

That is, I think parents, as long as you don't ask parents for money, in my experience, they're fine with whatever you're doing, as long as it's not obvious that it's illegal. Unless you're from Berkeley, then your parents are going to have more of an opinion on what's going on. That's honestly, you seem like a guy who comes from educators. Or whatever the Berkeley of your part of the world is. Yeah, not specifically, but it's all, yeah, it's all the kind of like generic Jewish sort of, you know, played a lot of Scrabble growing up. Sure, your household rewarded intellectualism, you're saying. It wasn't frowned upon like some households that I know of. Definitely. It was highly regarded. I think that maybe led me towards, you know, on the one hand, I guess I have this quasi-intellectual career, but I think also stuff like DJing was, I was really, I was like, wait, there's this? You're like, oh, he's a writer. They're like, yeah, very impressive. Yeah, all these publications. What's he writing about? Galaxy gas. Yeah. Grandma, this one's not for you, maybe. He'll send you his newest mix, and you can put it on in the car on the way to the farmer's market. So are you a better writer than you are a DJ? in your opinion absolutely i'm a complete hack dj i'm such a sync just a sync button queen at the end of the day oh you're a sync queen aren't you i'm learning you know i'm actually after like 15 years i'm like i'm gonna learn how to beat match i'm gonna do it but don't waste your time i love the sync button it's like you could because all i care about is playing like as many of the songs that i want as i can in a night and i don't really care about the rest of it i mean i guess i guess if if the difference is sync button or all sounds awful yeah i'm going sync 100 of the time it's true ezra look djing today sync button is fine just keep working on those those pull-ups in the park that's what's going to get you the gigs it's about it ain't about it ain't about the the skill your face card is already lethal but yeah once you get a john summit bob did you take your shirt off or was your costume on halloween a shirtless offering my costume was a

kind of last minute charlie xcx it was a did you get the girls out um by the end of the night yeah a little bit i had i had a wine stain i had like a wine stain beater pleaser excuse me and i had like a i had tights on and a and a skirt wow i was honestly kind of unrecognizable like people did not no what was happening they're like do you know when ezra goes on he's been there for three hours what is the did you wear anything over the tights yeah i had like a i had like tights and then like a little miniskirt on okay nice so you went to american apparel and said put it in the bag type type shit i i borrowed a miniskirt and it was hold on you're telling me you borrowed a miniskirt from a chick and you're it weren't it fit and then when you went back to the flat She was like, no, no, no, no, no. Leave it on. Leave it on. There we go. Oh, no, just pull it up. Just pull it up. Oh, I can't wait to get out of this. Yeah, I was like, wait, this is so much more convenient than the... Yeah, it's really... It is a skirt. I have worn one in my life, and it is quite comfortable. No tights underneath. Tights, it turns out, extremely comfortable. Well, yeah, they're helping your circulation. They're keeping everything... Obviously, they're keeping everything zipped up, but they're also keeping the blood flowing. And it kind of helps with the... With the, like, tucking component of the costume as well. Tucking. So your tuck was unclockable is what you're saying. I was serving fish. Okay. That's a successful Halloween costume. Did you see other – because I – Halloween is my least favorite. One of my least favorite things on planet Earth, especially in New York. And going to jeans on Halloween, I would rather take my own life. But – Shout out to jeans. We love you guys over there. Yeah, I love jeans. Can't wait to go to the farm. But the crowd, I imagine, was everybody going OD costume? Is that sort of what is expected at a night like that? Yeah, it was a lot. It was like, I don't know. I feel like New York Halloween is like the biggest holiday. And it was like also that place. Love them as well. I felt like there was a real kind of, I don't know, like bottle service. People were spending.

They were charging like $100 on the door, and people were paying it just to get into a club. Yeah, when you're DJing in a club. It was a lot of costumes. And they sell the tables on stage next to you. Usually the type of person who's going to spend $10,000 to have a table in a club, they're not who you want to be hanging out with all night. What was awesome? They give you bad requests. What was really awesome was my friend Ben and I were DJing. He was also in drag. He was Jamae. private school girl shout out to shout out to our king our king ben he was a he was a i'm sorry what he was jimmy private school girl you know like the summer high fire and so there's just the two of us on stage and wigs and then the club gave us a security guard who was standing right next to us keeping the yeah the hoi polloi from protect the dolls yeah exactly they give us tasers as well They handed out a jeans branded taser. It came with a cookie. It was an amazing gift. You had a security guard, so you didn't have to take any requests. You guys could play your little fucking shit without no problems. Bullshit SoundCloud UKG remix. Okay. What was the song of the night? And then we'll move on. What was the song of the night? I mean, I love playing my little UKG remix of Rihanna kind of thing. And then at one point... It was honestly such a blur. But I played one of those new Two Hollis tracks, which I'm ashamed to say I can't get enough. Bro, even you're too old to play Two Hollis. Did the crowd go off, or were they too old? I don't think that they – they seemed a little old to know it, but it definitely went crazy. But, yeah, I felt – I was like – Sure, if it's good, it's good. I'm a solid, like, what, 15 years older than this musician? I don't know if – Probably. I don't know if I've ever heard Two Hollis, if I'm keeping it a stack. Maybe I've listened once when it first came out and I just knew it wasn't for me. Or maybe it is for me. I think it's more for you than most of this shit, honestly. You would listen to it and be like, okay, I get it. Versus like, turn this mess off. Is there any guitars at all? Even fake ones? Or is it just like computer music? Okay, okay, okay. It's definitely just like kind of...

Zoomer. Some glitched out trap. TikTok. Yeah. But it's also really catchy. But he's already fallen off. I mean, he's in that new Vans campaign, which I quite like, actually. Him with the... I haven't seen it. I think it's him, right? He's got the two-tone hair, right? Like his hair is blonde and then black at the bottom. I think you're thinking of NetSpend, bro. Oh, I'm thinking of NetSpend. You're right. NetSpend's in the Vans campaign. I apologize. NetSpend is like if Two Hollis was eight years old. Two Hollis is more of like a Rick Owens kind of. Then NetSpend is more of your... He's taller than you. He's like 6'6". 100 pounds, bleach blonde, long hair. I think net spend is also Rick Owens, but maybe just different section of the store. I don't think. I think all of those guys are. He shoves at little Rickies. Yeah, he shoves at Rickies. I feel like not. I feel like all those guys. It's crazy that they wear Rick Owens because Rick Owens looks good on almost no one, and that's the thing that they're best at, actually. Wearing Rick Owens, two Hollis is better than wearing Rick Owens than making music, is what I'm trying to say. He actually makes it look good, which is impossible for most civilians. Absolutely. I mean, it helps that he's like this seven-foot-tall androgynous god, but it was like Rick Owens, like... cloned him and improved in his own physique do you think he's do you think he's out here do you think he's out here piping or do you think he's on roblox I don't see why those are mutually exclusive. I do. I do. I guess the FBI would. Are you saying, as you're saying, get you a girl that can do both? Yeah, look, that's very possible. I didn't think of that scenario. I did not think of that scenario. So Roblox is your Raya, is what you're saying. That's where you bag them and you take them home and tag them. I fuck with your program, Ezra. That's nice. Okay. It's been a few years since you wrote about the horses scandal. The restaurant in L.A., you know, the cat killing and all that stuff. I actually had dinner there last night. And have you thought about the story at all in the last few years since you wrote it? Or have you kept up or seen its evolution or talked to any of the people on the inside more? Oh, this is huge for me personally. This episode of How I'm Gone is brought to you by TaskRabbit. Oh, baby, let me tell you something. This is not a joke. I use TaskRabbit a lot.

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or a trail mixer. Just add a song to your chosen playlist and put your summer on track. Red Bull summer all day play. Red Bull gives you wings. Visit redbull.com slash bright summer ahead to learn more. See you this summer. I, I mean, I went to horses maybe six months after I came out. I, you know, and it was, I thought it was incredible. I hadn't been four. Yes. Excellent. But I was sort of fascinated by the way that that turned into the Frog Club situation in New York. I didn't do any more. I was hoping I would never have to hear about Frog Club again, but I knew Jason would find a way to force it down my little ear holes. I never had the chance to enjoy Frog Club's green food. And you know what the fucked up part is for me personally? I love frogs. It's one of the only... I'm a big Kermit guy. I don't really like real frogs. They're disgusting. But Kermit's one of my all-time great celebrities. But what did it feel like stolen froggy valor for you? Like, y'all don't deserve this frog. I didn't go in there. But you went, Jason. You did go, right, Jason? Yeah, the food was... particularly disappointing. I think horses is always to the point where you're offended. Horses has always been fine. One of the worst hostesses I've ever encountered in my life. That's so mean. I don't like, I don't know why I don't, I don't get like just clearly mean in a way that that job. should not allow because that job is to be sort of welcoming and friendly as the face of the restaurant. Maybe they're mean only to you because you're a dick. I mean, I'm less of a dick than you are. And you said, I guess you've been pretty nice about horses. I think horses is fine. I think that people really wanted it to like it more than they should have, I would say. Yeah. But the drama was fun. Yeah, the drama was fun. And I think it, you know, it was just like fascinating thinking about this like husband and wife duo. coming apart at the seams while running a restaurant that then became a celebrity, you know, whatever it became. And then the kind of potential revelation after all of that, that when she kind of, that when she opened the restaurant and it just completely failed and it's like, well, was he for all of his, you know, obvious flaws as a.

pet owner and uh you know manager was he made was he that yeah he was the one but there but all the obvious flaws are obvious because a flawed person told you them you know what i mean so it's not These are not obvious verified flaws for anyone involved. You know what I mean? Yeah, I think there's so much hearsay. There's a lot of questions remaining about what actually happened there. I think it's kind of a he said, she said. I hope they both never do anything again and we never have to hear about them again. But I think that's not going to be the case. Will works at the number one ranked restaurant in the world on the world's top 50. Yeah, I guarantee you I don't want to eat at that restaurant. Not because of me. You definitely don't want to eat there. Does he? Yeah, he's good. What is it? You tried your best to take him down, but he's fine. Is it in France? No, it's in India. Is it in like Bombay maybe? Let me see. Look, he had to go international waters mode, but he did escape you and your wrath eventually. Yeah, he had a phase of posting pretty chaotic stuff about me on Instagram. really pretty amazing great poster great poster he's one of our greatest he's an edgelord yeah did they didn't somebody did somebody buy your story um it was optioned for a doc that they never did anything with it sure it's just i remember you because i think i talked to you about that the restaurant is called casper's in bombay that's mumbai that's the number one restaurant in the world well according to one of the lists okay so It's the Condé Nast Traveler Restaurant Awards. Number one restaurant, The Table in Mumbai. We got so many awards. I feel like people get an award. I'm like, what? We got an Innovator Award? Every magazine is just giving out awards. I love it. I don't have any fucking awards. I've never gotten an award. I want to win a most songs played in one night DJ award. I think... 8-tracks had you beat for 20 years, so you better figure it out. That's probably true, yeah. Let's say you have one hour to DJ, and you're playing at one of these quirked-up art ho parties. Are we doing one song per minute? Are we doing two songs? One song every 30 seconds? How are you syncing? It's probably somewhere in the 30 seconds to a minute, because I'm usually, like, I have a drum track, and then I'm like, I need to play, like...

cardi over this and then it like doesn't quite work so i'm like okay i need you know and then i'll just keep going until i find like the perfect drum track rap vocal and then i'll just like stand there for maybe a minute and i'll get bored and soak it in yeah as the mashup god i'm with you i did that's that's crazy though about well i didn't know yeah he was he was uh he had a great post at one point that was about him converting to it was like a picture of like some sort of document saying he converted to Judaism. And then the caption was Ezra Marcus is Hamas. So not a fan of the story is what you're saying? I guess not, but it seems like it's worked out for him. So I didn't know that you got paperwork when you converted to Judaism. I thought it was more of a spiritual exercise. I didn't know. I didn't know you got like a stamped. I mean, I feel like one thing about us. Jews is we are bureaucratic at the end of the day. There's a lot of... Do y'all claim Azalea Banks now? Of course. It's huge for us. To have her as a soldier on the front lines. We needed that. We really needed that. PR was not great and we needed a little boost and AB brought that. You needed a racist black chick up in the mix over there in Israel, didn't you? It's rare. Kanye... Like, meet your match. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The only more chaotic. Two of our greatest Twitter posters to ever live that have both sort of spiraled into hell, unfortunately for us, the viewers. So has your family accepted that you voted for Zoron, or have you not told them yet? It's funny. They're all cool with it. I feel like they started out maybe more on, like, the not full-blown Netanyahu. crazy zionist but with like you know a little bit further than your typical person like me would be and we would really get into it and then as they've sort of like come more and more towards the kind of you know anti-zionist side of it i've had to go because i love getting that reaction at them i've had to go further and further into kind of the

To the extent that the last time I was talking, I was at a family thing. They were like, so what do you think about everything? What do you think will happen with the mayor? What do you want to happen? I was like, well, hopefully we will be conscripted into Sharia sex communism. That's the best outcome for us. New York specifically will nuke Tel Aviv. And my family member was like, well, I disagree, but I can see why you would say that. Just keeping an open level of discourse going, you know, healthy. I was like, what do I have to say? What do I have to say to make you? I want everyone screaming at me. What's going on with Zoe's wife? She feels like a vice employee, so I feel like somebody we know might have hit. before zoe well they met on hinge that's out of the question they met on hinge so she was she was in the streets there's a theory going around in one of my group chats that they're lying and it was actually raya but that looks bad so they've changed the story to hinge on the other side of that coin would maybach zoe have been allowed into raya pre-politics because he's a herb who no absolutely not he wasn't he was in a like local assemblyman that's even that's like that's the low like that's not there's no way he was an assemblyman he was an assemblyman slash rapper i i don't want to take his artistic what was his what was his rap name it was like big cardamom or something no yeah it had car yeah a lot of people are but it's pretty funny actually like stereo gum and websites like that are posting the emails that he sent it is young cardamom slash mr cardamom wow the guy loves cardamom damn bro people are yeah people are posting the emails he sent being like hi i'm a young rapper from new york here's my demo like dude let this guy live man like we don't need how many likes are you gonna get on that you know yeah i mean i guess like that can be one more amazing feature of our kind of like incoming you know sharia communism is just like young cardamom national anthem in the schools every day do you think he'll read it yeah do we all have to start listening to j cole

government mandated you know he loves actually those videos of him at the like behind the dj booth like waving his hands in the air i've never seen anything worse i cannot believe i can't believe that exists but i think to win it makes you miss eric adams a little bit doesn't it i mean he knew how to behave himself in the club what i've learned about politics from zoe And I knew this before, but I guess I realized it on a deeper level is that you have to be corny to win. And that is just part of the deal. And almost at this point, the more corny, the more like. viral shows you go on and fucking clubs you go to same thing for actors you know yeah but it's it's like it's different actors we don't expect anything from them because we know they're sort of like soulless people looking for fame politicians we sort of expect more you just described a politician though with every word that you said describing an actor yeah but politicians are they're meant to be more than that but we've we now can't allow them to do that they have to do the same thing that an actor does i mean has there ever been a non-corny politician no but i guess there wasn't one that was directly marketed at me he's kind of a slick little cucumber yeah it's true i feel like zoron is like lcd sound system where it's been forced down my throat because it's supposed to be for me and my people and it makes it harder to not be corny when that's the case yeah you know i think it's something about just like millennials taking over the kind of like gears of the media apparatus that it's like finally we get one you know and it's like millennials are probably the corniest generation just given the confluence of how just like the stuff that like we it's this kind of like you know obama post obama hope stuff i think never really left us at the end of the day so just finding a way to kind of rebrand that and like for the TikTok short form video era, I think is a recipe for obviously the kind of the corniest video content ever created, but I can also see why it works so well. Yeah. But I mean, I guess when, when Obama won, you know, we had young Jeezy songs about it and, you know, it was like a, like, I don't, I don't see any current rapper writing a song about Zoron. So I think.

I think the Korn level has really been increased. It's good that he's in office, but he's not going to be swagged out. Yeah, it's true. I can't imagine anything worse than... Sneaker shopping with Zoran? Ken Carson making a song. Oh, damn, we got a new Leon Thomas song coming out about Zoran. This motherfucker changed my life. That's really... I mean... I think that the Obama thing was obviously a much bigger deal because he was president. But do you think Zoe can take this shit all the way? Or do you think he's going to maybe stop at the Senate or the House and not make it all the way to Pennsylvania Ave? I thought that he – I honestly know so little about politics. I looked this up. He's ineligible to be president. Oh, because he wasn't born here? Because he wasn't born in the U.S., yeah. That seems like a pretty big problem if you have ambition. And neither was Obama, but he figured it out. Exactly. Good point. Good point, Jason. Good point. Good point. Damn, I did not know that. That seems like a – if you're that as ambitious as he seems, that's reason enough to go into a different field, in my opinion. True. Maybe by the time he's done, there will be a sort of like new kind of global imperium headquartered in like the – Nowadays. He can build this into his media empire that will be centered in the lot radio parking lot. I guess these guys can't make any money anyway, so the best case is you get famous from being mayor of New York and then you can do whatever you want and be rich for the rest of your life. He's Megan Markling. He's going to get a Netflix show where he goes around with cab drivers and they take him to his favorite spot and then he goes on the subway and asks them what their take is. He can have a rich career doing that. No problem. He better actually – Kareem better be looking over his left and right shoulder. This motherfucker is coming for him. I didn't even think about this. He said, I know about cardamoms too, bro. We're going to have like a – by the time we're done, it will be like Putin in the Hague having subway take at gunpoint. I like that. I think we should take it all the way. I wonder how much – I wonder if Zoran is going to do like hot ones and shit once it's like – like can he –

Get off the hamster wheel of content. once he's in office even though i know it's time to get to work he's gonna get to work i wonder if he's addicted to the shindig though you know if it's if it's if it's like shit i i gotta do something what else perfectly imperfect fuck it i'll do it he's like the subway system is good but i'm trying to get my tiny desk concert on the tiny desk is what my main objective is right how far could a guy take it you know he needs to do his his you know you guys know the rogue arms videos where it's you know what i'm talking about it's like these like It's like Zoomer Vintage Store. They're like, tell me what you're wearing and how much it costs. It's always like they have cat ears and a labubu. Anyway. They're dressed like Northwest. Yeah. And he's like a suit from Suit Supply, tie from Suit Supply. The suit supply of it all, I was like, bro, you can't tell people that. You got to keep that low. I think Suit Supply, the reputation has... has improved a little bit. It's on the RealReal. I don't think it has such a bad name anymore. No, that's because the RealReal is taking all comers. That's not because the suit supply has improved. They didn't take my Gantt last week, Chris. They draw the line at Gantt. Okay, let's talk about Bitcoin whales. Ezra, you wrote a story, your most recent big story, and I was thinking about how when you are a billionaire or 100 millionaire with Bitcoin, Your life is kind of constantly in danger now. You have a team of security that rivals the Migos at any given time. Are you worried that because of your whistleblowing that you're possibly in danger ever as you're uncovering these massive stones? No, I've never felt in any way personally in danger. I mean, I'm afraid of getting sued. That's kind of the worst I can imagine happening. I don't know. I mean, I think those guys in particular have a lot more to worry about right now than assassinating some. Has anyone ever sent you a phone call or an email saying like, you know, I wouldn't dig down this corner if you knew what was good for you kind of thing? Honestly, no. I've gotten a lot of legal threats. That's just sort of like bullshit.

Some chat GPT lawyer. Just to scare you off, hopefully. Yeah, but I've never had someone threaten my life or anything like that. Well, that ends today. Yeah. Yeah, there's a lot of hitmen who are like, wow, I never thought about that. I should hit him up. Yeah. It would work. It would work, too. Yeah, fellas, just to let you know, if you tell me to stop digging, sniffing up that tree, I will immediately stop. Absolutely. Because that whole shit. Has the bottom just kind of fallen out of it? I don't pay attention because it's so lame. The Bitcoin is still pumping. No, but like I'm saying like with the NFT thing where you had friends telling you, if you don't do this, you're so stupid. I feel like there was a Bitcoin crypto error like three, four years ago. It was the same attitude. I don't hear anything about any of that stuff anymore at all. Yeah. On a daily basis. I think as far as I can tell, and I'm certainly not like, you know, on the forums reading and stuff in depth, but the kind of, you know, bored ape. moment and all that came along with that when it was like, oh, Ludacris is playing the board ape party. It's like that kind of stuff seems like Paris Hilton's on Kimmel and they've both got their apes. It doesn't seem like there's any attempt. I think what's happened is that there's no longer any attempt to pretend like this stuff is anything other than just a speculative asset. No one's like, oh, we're going to put X, Y, and Z on the blockchain. We're going to live our whole life. No, it's just like it's a fucking thing. Blockchain is a word. I mean, I don't hear about blockchain at all. Blockchain died a slow death. I don't know. I don't know what it is, but it's definitely not something that we're going to be putting various things on anymore, as far as I can tell. I think now that the crypto haze has has lifted and now people are seeing these these rich whales getting kidnapped and tortured and, you know, having their little you either keep your password or like you keep it on like a little. private hard drive keychain or whatever, it's easier to steal a billion dollars in crypto than it is in cash or whatever. That's what's so fascinating about that story to me is that one of the things that they were using as a reason why we should all have Bitcoin is that we can get away from the banking system, which, okay, I guess. I guess there's somebody for whom that means something. I don't mind going to the...

Hey, bro, I'm tired of these guys having access to all my data, okay? We need to get away from this. And so it's like, okay, fire, you can be the bank. Do you have a massive steel vault encased around your body at all times? Or do you live in a condo in Miami? Yeah, somebody can just... torture you and get your stuff. If they could take the jewels from the Louvre, they can definitely catch you slipping at Raising Cane's drive-thru tonight. And you don't have $37 billion, but if you have a USB stick with $7 million in Bitcoin on it, bro, it's over. But also, I know a lot of people who have crypto, who have a good amount of money in Bitcoin, and they don't talk about it the same way people don't talk about, hey, I have a bunch of jewelry in my safe. in my closet right now is just like, yeah. And I, these are uncertain times. I think it drives these people crazy because one of the main things that being into Bitcoin early got you was this like, you know, yacht flexing mode and not being able to do that. It's like pulsing vein and forehead meme of like, these guys want nothing more than to have their iced out, you know, NFT board ape chain. And now you can't have it. I mean, they say it's, it's not, it's not worth being famous anymore. Back in the day, you get pulled over by the cops. They say, you know, we'll give you an escort home. The doors of life open up for you as a celebrity. And nowadays, it's quite the opposite. You have zero freedom. You're constantly under surveillance, and it's not enjoyable. I saw a video this morning of A$AP Rocky jogging in Paris in a full Puma sweatsuit and sneakers. And I was like, this is the worst. version of surveillance like this guy this is embarrassing was he going really fast or was he just jogging it was a pap it was a pap jog no this was a pap he was wearing a full puma track suit that was for a chanel commercial where he got to propose to margaret qualley which is obviously just wanted to make sure we weren't talking about different asap rocky running videos in the last i'm just like it you people you really can't do anything anywhere if you have any level of fame but i think now the rich guys that ezra's talking about they do it to themselves on tiktok

like they they're doing like no one wants this from them they're giving it they're giving it to us but they're so desperate for pussy they're willing to put their life on the line to flex off on the yacht and a lot of these guys aren't even bad looking it's like they're not they're like buff they're you know but they're just one of them look like joe camel but some of them are regular guys and they need we need crypto queer eye for the crypto guy go in there change your whole shit up nobody's gonna want to steal your shit anymore yeah i mean the guys from my story i think were were by all accounts like certainly they were kind of handsome kind of charming at certain points in their lives they were definitely pulling but i think that they also had a kind of like to be the kind of person that gets into crypto early you have i think that that means that you probably had something seriously wrong with you in the early 2010s yeah and that never goes away from the psychological perspective That's true. You've got to spend a lot of time in places that I don't want to go to get there. Yeah, I mean, I used to talk about it with DJs all the time, like a dead mouse kind of syndrome, where you've got a guy who should not be hanging around with drunk models five nights a week. He was not built for it. He was taking apart his PC tower. in 2010 not like doing bench presses and getting his dick sucked so you get the you get the bends once you enter the enter the booth there really is a certain kind of guy that builds his own pc yeah and that's that's a that's a very clear line in the sand between guys yeah and they're not opt-in coxman You know, building a PC is just like making love to a woman. I've heard that. I've heard that before. I need 3,000 words on that yesterday. Stop what you're doing. Put down your... Can you give us a sneak peek on what you're working on next, your next behemoth? I'm hoping it's NBA poker rooms. No, I mean, I don't know if I should even... There is a story that I'm chasing that I think a lot of people are chasing. I mean, honestly, I don't even, I think it's fine. I can just, it's, it's such a big thing in the headlines. I mean, I, and I haven't gotten anywhere with this really, but I'm, I'm fascinated by the David story as I think so many people are. Yeah. Yeah. Like I don't, you know, if anyone listening knows anything about it, feel free. Please get in touch. I heard, I heard from a, I heard from one of my sources. They're, they're hiring people only from like private equity and VC.

And it's like they're paying more than a protein bar. We're talking about the wrapper with the body found in his Tesla, not the protein bar. Oh, I love that. I don't give a fuck about that. Holy shit. You're telling me this protein bar has a VC background? No, no, no. I was talking about the hiring process. I was hearing they were paying. an unbelievable sum to people like to lure them over from like financial spend money to make money David the smart guy because you're like treating it like that David the other story his homie clearly did it and put the body in the car well I also saw that David the protein bar just released a new bar that's just a piece of cod that's called marketing Ezra you should look into it they sent me the cod any good It's as good as a piece of frozen fish could be. Yeah, I don't think it's meant to be good. Your grandmother would not have approved of it, but in a pinch, if I'm doing a blender and zip it up. I'd already forgotten about the David the murderer story, because I feel like if he was guilty, he would be arrested. Do you feel that way? I mean, I have absolutely no idea. I think it is so baffling to me. Do you think that Donald Trump's team created the David scandal to move away from the Epstein files? Oh, that's a really good theory. That is not a good theory. My theory about David bars is better than that theory. Do not do that. Trump created other things to distract away from that, but not the David thing. He wasn't privy to his music. Yeah, I mean. I agree with you. I think he would have been in custody by now if it actually was him. But it's one of the just like the kid who shot almost shot Trump's ear off. We don't know a single thing about him. You know, that one almost makes sense to me. I can understand the conspirator. It just seems like he was one of those kids who got like discord discord kind of radicalized. And it does. No, it really does. It does feel strangely.

online for like a rmb rap like that that doesn't cross over in my mind but he's young for for for a minor to be found decomposing in the in a famous person's car quote unquote famous person that's a that's a juicy story and if they give zero follow up to it yeah i mean everyone wants to know we need the 3000 word cut article on it yesterday imagine if they sent one of the clocks ticking if they sent someone from the cut to write about that how funny that would be i mean anyone would i mean that's a it's a huge story so many unanswered whenever that happens an underage murder and a famous i do wonder though ezra where do you like do you think that rolling stones spending a much like who I mean, because it's so, it's kind of niche. Like, that doesn't work for, like, Vanity Fair. It's a little too... LA Times, New York Times feels right. LA Times, LA Times, people barely let their dog piss on that. New York Times, maybe. SF Gate? Is that what you want, Chris? No, I just, I don't know what, I don't know where it would actually resonate. I mean, yeah, I guess besides the New York Times. I don't know who else would actually do it. Yeah, I don't know. I mean, I'm working on it. It would be cool if TMZ started doing heady, thousand word, articles like The Cut. You guys should launch an investigative editorial arm. You guys should have a quarterly... If Chris got to get his... If what? If Chris got to be the editor-in-chief of a Just Jared-style gossip blogger paparazzi website, that's honestly his final form. That's the best job for your skills. Zendaya stuns. yeah my problem is i don't care about david or what happened to him or the you know what i mean it's it's interesting on some level but like if it was kid cuddy you'd be paying more attention i didn't know who david was before the story i knew who david was before the story because i listened to joe budden and that's the only reason though Okay. Because it's like an R&B sleeper. It's not because I love it so much. He was bubbling in the underground. Well, all right. Ezra, let's get you out to Tarzana or wherever his house was, and you can start sniffing around in the garbage for clues. Yeah, come on, bro. That's the fun part. What do you guys think I should investigate? I mean, the NBA gambling. Pablo Torre has already done it, I feel like. Yeah. Yeah, but he's doing day of podcasts about it.

Whereas Ezra does the 18 month investigative journalism piece. And it's a different story. But that's like what I was saying. Like, are you worried about your safety when you start sniffing around, you know, crime families and mafia ties? That's when you get the phone call, you know? Yeah. I mean, that seems like because I was reading about that other maybe the same. There's like a. Israeli mafia backed poker game scandal that I was just like, I can't imagine a scarier person to be dealing with than like a Hollywood Hills private poker game, Israeli mafia guy, uh, trying to collect. Yeah. Yeah. That's not, yeah, that's not great. That's not great. It's a room you do not want to be found in. I also think the NBA stuff, there's people that. I feel like you find stuff that's pretty niche and make it interesting and further reaching than it should be. Whereas the NBA thing, there's a thousand guys at ESPN that have dedicated their entire life to basketball and they're frothing at the mouth. You know what I mean? It's too popular almost. Yeah, I also feel like it's in a way, I mean, kind of run of the mill. It's like, yeah, they're ripping people off at private poker games. Like, no shit. It seems like that seems to be, just from seeing what professional poker players have been saying about it, they're like, yeah, if you're going to one of these games. That's what's happening. That's what's happening. I think the intrigue only starts because the players were throwing games. Yeah, for sure. And then you see clips of them throwing the games, and it's super obvious they were throwing the games. I think the other intriguing part to me, sorry, Ezra, is when you see these people who have contracts where they're getting paid hundreds of millions of dollars a year, And they're so addicted to gambling that they're willing to throw it all away for, you know, 20 grand or whatever. With these weird things, you know? And to be like, how could your head... get into that situation as a rich person well you know that's what i want to read about that's it's true and it's always sort of like there's it's like their random friend is the one it's like oh yeah like i'm i'm telling my like my random translator interpreter from japan just got me into this man i think that the i mean i think that the the gambling taking over our world is the most interesting like the fact that you can gamble on anything anytime anywhere i think this is

just a symptom of that at a very high level. But I think it's like, there are guys like us that have ruined their entire lives gambling on their phone, like while they're at work, that's crazier to me. I was thinking about that with, with these, these new companies like poly market and call she, and just like, what is the future of that? Like, well, cause obviously what those companies are trying to do is, is make it so that every single facet of your life can, can have a wager on it. And I had this idea in the shower of like, what if like, you know, you're going to go to the gym and it'll be like the call sheet gym and they're going to like give you odds on your weight loss goals or whatever. Or like, you'll be able to bet on like, or like, Oh, somebody's at this like fucking like you name it celebrity. Like Mr. Beast is, is like, will he hit his, his weight loss goal? I like five to one or something like that. And then I could go in and be like, you can predict the day Mr. Beast is going to be assassinated. And it's a, you know, it's a million and one long shot. If that, If that parlay hits, you're the richest guy in the world. Or I think about that all the time. Like, you know, how many streams will two Hollis have by 2027? Or, you know, just like being bullish on just everything. Like every single thing that happens is going to essentially be something that somebody else can make money on, which is... Fascinating. It'll be the only way to make our lives interesting is when there's some money on it. All right, Jason, that being the case, what are the odds on when Ezra's next story comes out? I'm giving it three to six months. I take the over on that. Okay, so it's November. I was going to say March 6, 2026. Okay. All right. No, that's fair. I think that's fair. That's what, five months? Ezra feels confident there. I can see him shaking his head. He feels good about that. That's ambitious. I'm on kind of like a two a year. pace these days okay all right so we could push it a lot of a lot of time to practice your djing your beat matching there ezra all right look ezra thank you for joining us on how long gone people can find you on the worldwide web and for a guy who only writes two stories a year he has a lot of stories written and they're all you know big and they're great i love them i love they're all big and long and thick wow whoa whoa whoa damn i don't i don't see anything wrong with that

No lies detected, mama. Okay, Ezra, thank you for chatting with us. Hope you had a fun time. My pleasure. Thanks, guys. Take care. You're not managing one building. You're managing all of them. And to stay ahead, you need to see through walls and around corners. Lights about to fail, filters ready to clog, HVAC on its last leg. If you wait until something breaks, you're already behind. Count on Grainger for quality products, easy reordering, and 24-7 support. Call 1-800-GRAINGER, click grainger.com, or just stop by. Grainger, for the ones who get it done.