395. - Chris & Jason

All right, this episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Stateside with Kai and Carter, a new podcast from The Guardian. And they are using this podcast to slow down the news and wrestle with the questions that we all have about what's happening in the world. And they do it three times a week, Jason. Does that sound familiar to you? We don't really talk about, you know, a lot of international global news items and climates and cultures and sports and things like that. We do talk about fashion and wellness, but for everything else, Kai and Carter are a great place. All right, so who couldn't use more news? Listen wherever you get your podcast. or watch on YouTube. All right, we're tapping in. Sunday morning, just got home from church. What's going on with you and the critters over there, Chris? Oh, same. I threw my $40 in the offering plate this morning to praise him. If we were in Northampton stead, that would be $41, wouldn't it, with the pound conversion? That's a good point. I don't even want to talk about that. All our British listeners are going to be upset. But I was doing some... Once I got back from church and I was able to shower, I was doing some reading on the World Wide Web trying to kind of inform myself. And I found this great story in the Los Angeles Times about inside the incredibly shrinking Southern California starter home. A little wordy. Maybe next time we take a little bit down. A little wordy. So there's kind of a profile on this guy, Zach Zyskowski. A humble abode. He's a TV producer, of course. That's even smaller than your house, Dan. I know, I know. And the thing is, in his picture... he's wearing a $2,700 St. Laurent bomber jacket that stopped being cool five years ago. That's the real issue. He might even be wearing, he might be wearing St. Laurent shoes. So it's just a little interesting. It's a little interesting. I think it's, he's reinforcing the kind of like, if millennials would stop spending money on avocado toast, they could afford houses. Right. It's kind of the same. It's kind of the same vibe. If you would stop spending $3,000 on bomber jackets, maybe you could afford a 1,500 square foot house. Is that something? Okay.

Just quickly, it's also in a neighbor. His new home is in El Cabrillo, a Spanish. I've never heard of El Cabrillo. I guess that's a comp. I'm sorry. That's a complex. I'm sorry. It was built by movie mogul Cecil B. DeMille in the 20s. So it's a cool house. But again, so he wouldn't have to have his he wouldn't have to sleep in the kitchen. He wouldn't he would be able to have maybe a guest bathroom in his house if he didn't spend so much money on Ruiji. sweatpants and things like that if he if he wasn't a mr porter vip he could probably what what's the opposite of house poor you know they're they're swag poor they spend all of their money on on guns bottega bags and you can't even shit like that and and they gotta live in squalor i mean but the other person they mentioned the story is a uh a planetary scientist for NASA's Jet Propulsion Laboratory, she grew tired of working on the Mars rover from her dining room table during the pandemic. Like, this is real shit. Like, there's a woman that works for NASA that wants to live in Altadena. Like, what is going on? Like, what is going on? Well, to be fair, JPL has their headquarters are over there in Pasadena. Oh, okay, okay, okay, okay. That makes a little more sense. Obviously, you're not. You know, a big aerospace kind of guy. So I don't expect you to know that. No, I'm anti-NASA. I think we should stop exploring space and save a little money. I think that would help us a little bit as a country. Come on, bro. I saw the two people they found in L.A. to profile about not being able to afford a house. One is a TV producer and one works for NASA. And somehow they're on the same plane, which is concerning in many ways. Yeah, it is. I mean, but those are the stories that get the most like, wow, son of a bitch. Because, you know, I hear that all the time from real estate agents. friends of just like, yeah, we found this one bedroom in Inglewood. The husband is the editor of a magazine. The wife has her own blah, blah, blah. They make $500,000 a year. Maybe in eight or nine years, they'll be able to afford this house that their parents bought for $29,000. I just don't know how many of these stories they can write. There's a new one of these once a month because it's not changing. It's only getting worse.

So I'm just like, you know, it's not that it's more interesting in New York because the places are usually so shitty that it's a little more entertaining. This guy's little apartment looks sick. You know what I mean? It's like really nice. Like it's I don't know if I would choose a red velvet couch as a as a man, but that's, you know, whatever. That's a that's a personal decision. But sorry, I didn't mean I didn't mean to jump right into the news because I know that. Because of our displacement in beautiful Atlanta, I had to send my regrets to our friends over at the Sweetgreen Corporation. But you were able to attend a Sweetgreen Celebration of the Tomorrow at the Flamingo Estates Mansion. Now, do they grow the vegetables there, or do you think Sweetgreen provided for this event? I did inspect the grounds to see if there was any foul play, farming practices going on. Let me tell you, I didn't find nary a carrot on the entire property. And this property was the opposite of a starter home. It's a starter neighborhood, but wow, what a house. I was going to ask if your Birkenstocks, if the pesticides had rotted out the cork or if it was fine. But I'm glad to know that they're using sustainable farm practices. I came home straight from the flamingo. Bean started licking my Birkenstock. just barfing green stuff instantly. So I'm going to go take it down to the lab and see if they're not using some Roundup or something over there. Now, I wanted to just quickly before we get into the menu, I wanted to discuss the kind of hand wash story in the multiple bathrooms. Like, was it also a tomato hand wash or did they kind of venture into other produce? You know, since I stopped drinking water, I didn't even use the restroom or go to the bathroom. And I had like four drinks. The thing that I'll tell you about stopping to drink water. That's the best part about ceasing water. Because washing your hands is a psyop, so it's good that you've gotten over that. You've passed that. Even though I know you're a big alcohol-infused sanitizer guy, you refuse to use a high-end hand soap. You're too working class for that. I mean, I ain't no damn pussy. Actually, I did have an artisanal...

hand sanitizer that i left in the car uh-huh and i think it had um whispers of rosemary in there beautiful not only to be antibacterial but also it's a pleasant fresh scent and i think i think some of the the the oils the rosemary oils in there and the extreme heat wave thanks to biden's america it was i think the rosemary had turned and it had a bit of a sour sour flavor to it okay so You go in thinking that you're going to make the hands cleaner, but you actually make them dirtier. And I couldn't even touch the steering wheel. It had me fucked up. That's disgusting. This isn't the same rosemary they're using in the delicious sweet green focaccia, I hope. God, it could be. I don't think so. All right, so walk me, because Flamingo Estate is something that we've discussed on this podcast. I don't understand it at all, but it looks pretty, and I saw a fountain filled with oranges. So if you could just kind of start there and we can move forward, that'd be great. The fountain was filled with tomatoes, Chris. It was filled with... tomatoes oh they were actually tomatoes look like oranges so somebody was doing some color because they weren't right oh okay okay okay so i'm not wrong i'm wrong but i'm not like far off sorry for the tomato tea all right so that's not shade that's nightshade so do they have first of all do they have a valet uh no valet it was uber only no code no code no code and you can't pull up to that den of baller with uh with a regular lift Of course. You know, I can't pull up in the Camry or the Corolla. So you're out of pocket already at least 50 before you even get there, and then you've got to eat tomatoes all night, so you're going to be hungry. But I'm sorry. All right, so you're out 50. You're out 50 for the Uber. Well, I mean, on the way there, on the way back, let's say I'm out a tight 66, 67. I didn't tip him. Our first Lyft driver smelled crazy, bro. He smelled crazy. We had to do windows rolled down on the freeway, on the 134. It was fucked up. And you weren't smoking cigarettes because his personal scent was wafting through the 7 Series. And you're saying it wasn't like Axe body spray. It was like a bad. No, no, no. So, well, on the way home, we had a nice 7 Series, which I realized, you know, I've been going through my car trials and tribulations, and I realized that that might be the car for me.

So you're about to join BMW Hive, but with the big body. That's right. You're a great driver. I just want to get that out of the way off top. You're a great driver. I trust you implicitly. I feel like a butt coming on. Well, there is a butt coming on. I'm just saying that that can be a, you know, and I'm dealing with this with the Ram 1500 extended cab. It can be difficult to kind of park cars like that in dense urban areas. You know what I mean? The spaces are limited for cars of that stature. It's much like you. It's like. there's not a lot of beds that can contain you. And I don't mean that because of your stick work. I mean that because of your height almost. We're not talking about fucking. We're talking about if I needed to go to a hospital or something, and they'd be like, we don't have any beds for you. Exactly, yeah. Okay. Yeah, so I'm saying that. So you're saying buyer beware. Exactly. Even though you're in Glendale, which is obviously spacious. tons of parking at the ralph's fresh fair it's no problem when you come into more densely populated areas like west hollywood you know beverly hills etc there is going to be kind of the parking spaces don't shrink there's just more cars you know i mean so you're going to have interesting i know okay and i don't know it kind of switches like that okay exactly exactly but i don't i don't know this for a fact because i don't have a seven series but i don't think it has a park itself feature so it'd be kind of on you to squeeze that guy between the Cayenne and the smart car on Rodeo. So if I want to park this thing, it's on me is what you're saying. That's right. And I just want you to consider that before you drop all this hard-earned money. Although I love the idea of, I think you are a sedan. As I move into truck, Chris, and you move away from truck, TJ, I do see you as a sedan guy. And I like that that's where you're kind of headed. I do too. And I also like that. You are giving me a warning about parking as I downsize in car from a mid-size, you know, decent-size pickup truck to... to a bmw sedan and that's when i need to work watch out for the parking problem i believe no jason i believe the seven series is bigger your truck is more of a baby mama truck no size wise no it's not yes it is that is not that truck just because you got a 1500 ram pickup truck right now you think you're big dick swinging it's it's it's a mid on the scale of one to ten on the scale of barely fit 224 packs

of cores in the backseat of that thing, much less humans. It's four doors, bitch. I know they're four, but they're little abbreviated doors. They're little mini doors. No, they are not abbreviated doors. You've got Vern Troyer doors on the Nissan. No, no, no, no. Okay, and you have your GMC Maybach doors that fucking swing up and have an umbrella in them? What's going on over there? No, I'm just saying, are you sure they're full size? My door is the same size door as yours. Okay, all right. I would pull out the measuring tape on this, much like the NFL, you know what I mean, and see. know if you got the first down on this i just don't know we need the we need the rolex line cam yes exactly we need the campus but i'm sorry regardless i'm more interested in the flamingo state sweet green tomatoes and and i'm sorry to get us off track i apologize so we yeah so on the way there get the we get the lift lux or whatever It's one of those Lexus hybrid kind of like mini wagons. Yeah, that's not a lux in my opinion, but go ahead. Which is basically, you know, people will cheap the system. They'll get the cheapest car that technically is a luxury car on the books or whatever. They'll either do that or you get like a sick-ass car. but it's kind of older. Like you get an S500 Benz, but it's like a 2014 or something. Good year for me. Good year. The driver pulled up, all the windows already rolled down, no AC, which is very uncharacteristic for the Armenian community. Usually the AC is on full whack, not to bring it back to another British term, but that thing is on 52 and it's on max the whole time. Just to kind of recycle the Marlboro smoke. Okay, so kind of, yeah, there's 55 black ice trees around the rearview mirror. The AC's on max, and the windows are up and tinted normally. He's listening to his favorite album, and it's in dog mode. Yeah, it's exactly like that. Okay. And so we had to, you know, we had to basically just ride with our nose plugged on the way to, it had a sour start. To a lovely evening, we'll say that. Our driver didn't speak English, and there was a guy, like the road to go up to the house was guarded by a security guy who was saying, like, we're doing one in, one out, because the road is so windy and narrow that you can't fit two cars on. Jesus Christ. So the guy was like, there's a cone there, and he's like, okay, we've got to wait there. There's an Uber who's going to leave, and then when he leaves, you can go back inside. And our Uber driver did not speak a word of English.

So we're just sitting there and the guy's like, what's going on? I don't get this. And I'm like, oh, we got to wait. And he's like, I don't know what you're saying. And then the guy, we were kind of blocking traffic and the guy grabs the cone and he's like, hey, why don't you guys just like pull over here to the side and you can wait so the other cars can go. As soon as he moves the cone, the driver just hauls ass straight down, straight down the road because he didn't understand what he was saying. So then in 10 seconds, we're face-to-face with a car, and my Uber driver is honking at him. It's a standoff. And telling him to move out of the way. It's a standoff. And the guy is at a dead-end street. There's nowhere to go. And my guy is just like, you are in my way. You have to leave. Drive off the cliff, whatever. We finally get there, and it's all good. I can give you a virtual tour, I guess. No, I would rather hear where they hit. Do you find any money hidden anywhere? Under the... Kind of under the bed or anything, under the mattress, or maybe in a weird, was there a trap door? Did you kick the tires in this thing, or were you a respectful guest, is my question. This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by a new podcast from The Guardian, stateside with Kai and Carter. This is covering a lot of our bases, Jason. It's trying to slow down. The news and wrestle with the questions we all have about what's happening in the world. And I know you particularly have quite a lot of questions. A lot of questions. But how often? Because we do this podcast three times a week and that's a sweet spot. How many times do they do? Three times a week. And I have a feeling just based on the platform and these talking points that they're maybe going to be covering different stuff than we do. That's just a guess. The Guardian is not some billionaire owned. They're not afraid to say what they want to say, brother. Yeah, Rupert ain't sniffing around in what journalists Kai Wright and Carter Sherman are up to over there at Stateside. But yeah, listen wherever you get your podcasts. You can watch it on YouTube. It's three times a week. And who couldn't use more news? You know, especially when it's not, you know, from here, let's say. Give it a listen. Give it a listen. Oh, this is huge for me personally. This episode of How I'm Gone.

It was brought to you by TaskRabbit. Oh, baby, let me tell you something. This is not a joke. I use TaskRabbit a lot because I can't do anything. You need some art hung? TaskRabbit. You need a fucking something put together, a cabinet? Got to reach that cheese grater on the top shelf? TaskRabbit. Anything you need, TaskRabbit can take care of it for you. And, I mean, how it works, TaskRabbit connects you with skilled taskers in your area. They can help you move. They can assemble furniture. repairs, yard work, mounting, and more. You can search for a Tasker based on cost, skill set, availability, and past client reviews so you know exactly who's showing up and can have confidence that they know what they're doing because Taskers have assembled over 3.4 million pieces of furniture, completed 700,000 home repairs, handled 1.5 million moves, and the numbers are just going up, Jason. Yeah, throw a little money at the problem. It's not so expensive, and that job that you really don't want to do is something that another person out in the world, is very good at doing and would gladly do it in exchange for a little bit of money. So... When life happens, your to-do list grows. Get ahead of it now and get $15 off your first task at TaskRabbit.com or grab the TaskRabbit app using promo code HOWLONG. Taskers book up faster, especially for same-day tasks. So book Trusted Home Help today. That is $15 off your first task using promo code HOWLONG with the TaskRabbit app or at TaskRabbit.com. This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Squarespace. Obviously, Jason, you and I spend a lot of time on the World Wide Web. So do all our peers, our listeners, our friends, our colleagues. Obviously. Maybe even your parents if they're freaky. And if you're doing anything in the world, writing, taking pictures. I do topless boxing. You need a website. Exactly. A website that works, that does what it's supposed to do, that allows you to be creative but also business-minded. Jason, there's one place to go for that, Squarespace. Yeah, Chris, I'm over here. I'm modifying calculators and putting Claude inside of them so you could cheat at school. And I just want a place where I could, you know, have everything all in one place. I can have the SEO tools so those future graduates can find me. And, you know, I'm able to accept, quote, unquote, donations for my services that might be gray area.

You know what I mean? And then email campaigns. Hey, I got a new 2.3 version upgrade. Boom, boom, boom. Get the analytics going. Raise some money. Show your investor all of your cool analytics of what's going on. They're going to want to get in early. And we can use Blueprint AI to make your website look as professional as your competition, if not more. Head to squarespace.com slash howlong for a free trial. When you're ready to launch, use offer code howlong to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain. Well, I did not kick the tires. I felt as if I was being watched at all times. You know what I mean? I keep on bringing up Eyes Wide Shut in my personal life, but it was a little bit of that. I was being surveilled. People were sort of... peering down for me in the wings and giving me a little bit of a knowing glance of like i want you to have fun big fella but we know that you're a little mischievous and i i'm sure that they're able to afford you know a lot of ring cams you know what i'm saying i'm sure that place is fucking wired you know what i mean that's the try that's the that's the white house of pasadena impenetrable i don't even care about the house to be honest i'm sure it's nice i care more about the menu because i'm actually um you know atlanta has three new sweet green locations jason and there's a new location in tampa coming as well oh really i didn't know okay well so time to take a second look at tampa well i will get into the menu first but there are some things that you should know about the house that you okay haven't seen on the internet oh okay all right cool so the first thing you it kind of looks like a very well curated kind of twee spanish where every little detail is is this perfect adorable thing and it is all that is true sure everything is well done every little detail is thought out very well and it was cool to see that it but it's kind of like a disneyland kind of way you know where it doesn't feel like actual home it's like uh sure i don't know it's like disneyland but the thing that i didn't notice before from the internet is there's it's like that style

mixed with like concrete brutal slabs. Oh, really? Like the center of the house has this giant kind of cement square staircase thing that has like a little bit of a interesting geometric pattern. And then there's another bathhouse room. That is a completely brutalist, raw cement structure. So I knew the owners were gay, but they're gay enough to have a bathhouse on site. Yes, exactly. So it kind of was more of a kill room, if that makes sense. I love that vibe. Yeah, where kind of the pay piggies might go down when they need to be slaughtered. But up top, there's a beautiful bath, and it overlooks these kind of stained glass windows. Private view of the city. Oh. You know, trees and skylines and all that stuff. And then this big cement, brutal tub. And then next to the tub is a fireplace. You can kind of have an evening soak. You're overlooking. That sounds nice. The slums of Highland Park as well, you know, as you have a fire burning. Oh, great. I could only imagine how wonderful it is. I love the idea of sliding into the warm bath, got the fire going, and I'm just looking at dogs and strollers in Highland Park from my perch. Yeah, we just put the kids to bed. I just ate my 2.5 milligram edible, and I'm just going to let this tub take me away, honey. That sounds nice, though. That same bathhouse, the brutalest bathhouse, you go downstairs, and there's... There's a sauna, a shower, and a toilet. But the toilet is stainless steel. Very nice. And that's where it starts to turn a little bit like BDSM kind of energy. I'm really into this so far. I know that you're into this kind of stuff. And this would be sort of your ideal space for your brand of play. okay if that makes sense yeah i mean i i just like stainless steel i don't know why you're turning this into something that it's not um but you can keep implying it's it's literally just like this is where you have like bergheim style orgies like you know when when people tell you about like

you know like don't go like to the like the downstairs downstairs at this techno club because that's where like this is the downstairs downstairs there's like a goat glory hole or like oh you go in there and a guy just shoots you in the face with the shotgun until you come you know just like the darkest shit ever there was a little bit of that going on where like it was just a sterile environment The floors, the ceilings, and the walls were all the same thing. It was all able to be kind of hosed down. And then the stainless steel toilet as well is sort of good for easy cleanup. Of course. Blood and stuff like that. This sounds cool as hell. All right. It was like do like a Saw movie but make it work with an E-R-Q. You know what I mean? Yeah, sure. Of course. I'm familiar with the spelling, kind of what that implies. Okay. Well, was the seating? Was the seating, obviously this is outdoors underneath like rows of trees kind of vibe? Well, I think to move on to the menu, you're going to be disappointed to hear that it was a grab-and-go style buffet. I'm sorry, what? It's a bit of an eat-where-you-sit kind of thing. It was not a seated presentation. Oh, God, I'm reeling. Do you want to take five? Pay a couple bills. That is shocking, but I also wonder if that was... Was that so they could kind of host more people? Do you think that's the vibe? Was it packed? No, it was definitely a curated crowd. It was not packed to the gills. So the same 30 people that are at every LA event were at this event as well? No, there was a little difference. Actually, I thought it was a really great curated group of people. I was probably the least... likely person to be there. I don't know. Maybe not. There was some people where I was like, why are you here? Sure. Did you see some friends and acquaintances though? It wasn't like new faces. No, there was a bunch of friends there. Okay. It was great. Okay. But yeah, you did have to sort of do a buffet style eat. Okay. And then, you know, grab a park bench or a step to sit on and enjoy it. But the food was delicious. It was all catered by a restaurant here called Galagetza.

Oaxacan-style food, tlayudas, things like that. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. A nice little chile arregueno. Wait, what? I don't understand. So what the hell was Sweetgreen doing then? If they didn't make any of the food, what the fuck are they doing? Sweetgreen was hiring this company to cook a beautiful meal and support small local businesses. Man, fuck that. I want a salad, bro. If I see Sweetgreen on the invite, I want a damn shroomami. I don't want some flautas. So when you see flautas. You have been Atlanta for a while. I don't want the first lady of the United States. I work too hard for these fajitas. I don't want any fajitas, bro. I want salad. So when I'm telling you it's buffet-style eating, you're expecting a standard sweet green, you know, Nolita line where it's like, all right, what do you want? What do you want? Mixed greens or arugula? You want cheese on that? I would rather have that probably. I'm not rather have that, but I think if I see Sweetgreen's name on something, my mind goes into salad land, and that's a place where I like to reside. Well, don't worry. There were a couple Sweetgreen team members there who I have worked with before, and they were preparing a couple kind of little salads that were being tray-passed around. Fresh little sun gold tomato salads, a little kind of cooked eggplant, a little crispy onion, a kashkabetamjoon-inspired tray passed out. It was nice. Thank God. I mean, my problem is that I don't know. I'm not a big tomato guy, if I'm being honest. It's not one of my favorite ingredients. I know, obviously, that when they're peaking and in season, it's nature's candy, et cetera, et cetera. It's just not something. that I personally crave or even really like, unless it's maybe on a sandwich. Very thinly sliced. We were actually talking, I think a big problem with the tomato and many other fruits and vegetables is that it's often served when it's not ripe enough. And it's just... Okay. You know what I mean? Like, you go to Subway and get your $5 foot long, and it's got a tomato on it that, you know, you might as well just be eating a piece of paper or something like that. It has no flavor, no blah, blah, blah. That's right. And, you know, same thing with, you know, a peach or anything, you know? You're over in there in Georgia. You've probably had an unripe peach. I don't like peaches either, if I'm being honest. I don't, you know, food with hair on it. Is it because it's too much of that gooshy-gooshy? No. Like, a perfectly ripe tomato or a peach has got that good. No, I mean, I like, I guess both.

peach in a dessert format i can of course find appreciation for are you more of a got got no i'm not unless of a gushy no no no you can be honest here i i like both you know depending on depending depending on the situation but i just don't seasonal yeah it's seasonal but i have to pick just one don't make me choose tj But I just don't think that either of those ingredients jump out at me as something that I'm like, oh, I really need that. Obviously, when tomatoes are in season, it's inescapable at any fine dining establishment. They're just everywhere. They plug them in. I know what you mean. They do it. They go too hard, I would say. They do. They do. They get way too excited. They blow their load like TJ on a first date. But, you know, as you get older, you get you get. But we were actually talking about this very subject with a couple pod fans approach me. I don't remember their names, but they're very nice. But we were talking about technology where they would like implant a microchip or like some type of digital sensor into a tomato to study how if you're able to sort of scientifically detect when the tomato is has reached optimum ripeness. and this is a subject that I think about all the time, and I'd like to explore more of it, but I was trying to experiment with psychedelics. Oh, I see. Okay. All these things where you go to a supermarket, and here's this cantaloupe. Is it ripe? I don't know. You know, you, you tap it, you shake it, you sniff it, but you never know until it's too late. I see people doing all sorts of different methods when I visit my local grocers, you know, to kind of test the, and it seems like there's not an agreed upon methodology. No. Yeah. Everyone has, everyone's like, Oh, my Nana says, this is how you do it. This is, you know, nobody's right. And I was like, what if, what if you, what if I just eat a God's dose of mushrooms? Not, not the fake chocolate ones, some real deal shit tastes like that. Stinky. And then I just roll around, you know, in a nice king-size bed, maybe some fret sheets or whatever, or frette, sorry. Filled with fruit. Yeah, melons, peaches, apples, and I'll be able to talk to the fruit, or actually, for a change, I'm going to listen. I'm going to kind of listen and do the work. I just want to clear this up. So what you're saying to me, that you think that the...

The methodology that exists now of tapping, smelling, touching, et cetera, we've been using for hundreds of years, isn't sufficient. That's one point, though. You're developing a new process where you take drugs and then fill a bed with fruit, and then you just live amongst it for an amount of time that will allow you to understand it on kind of a higher plane. More or less, yeah. It doesn't need to be in a bed. It doesn't need to sort of have any horny vibes to it whatsoever. I just need to be in a situation. So you're saying to me the fruit will communicate? to you when it's ready so it's like you're going to get consent from a peach i'm right daddy okay that's this is not about it bite on in this sounds like something you could maybe this is sounds like maybe this is a new version of kind of an a lead ayahuasca ceremony where tj leads chefs in a ripe fruit ceremony. Yeah. And you kind of just, you walk them through it and you could charge them upwards of a couple thousand dollars for a weekend retreat. Don't worry. It's a write-off, guys. It's part of the job. Well, I'm just glad that there's a bigger takeaway from this dinner than, you know, I saw some influencers and I had some food. You know, you kind of, this is what's supposed to happen when we go out in the world and we have these shared experiences that we're supposed to be able to ideate. with friends acquaintances or even just alone and i think that you use your time pretty wisely at the flamingo estate people say this is it's a networking event but so often we forget to actually do the networking you know and it's just kind of there for a photo it's crazy a selfie style pic or whatever yeah but i i'm not there to network i'm there to build kind of neural networks that weren't there before and sort of bridge the gap between produce and DJ them jeans. We'll kind of whiteboard this next weekend when you're here. We need to work on the show, but this seems like a pretty big money-making opportunity for us. It'd be foolish to leave this on the table. Yeah, I wouldn't be. Obviously, I'd be taking a small percentage for doing all of the administrative work as well as the marketing and maybe some asset design. I would farm that out, of course, but I think there is something here.

And I mean, I don't know how much those online ceramics guys are charging. Yeah, do you have an in at the New England Journal of Fruits and Vegetables? Because if you can get me any ink in there, this thing is going to go. I could find all of the kind of white paper food. Yeah, to the moon. I also wanted to discuss, speaking of to the moon, it looks like... the Don't Worry Darling film did $30 million opening weekend, which is in 2022 fairly successful. So I want to know, do you think that all of this stuff that we've been hearing about this movie, Florence Pugh and Olivia Wilde beefing Harry spitting on fifth coolest Hollywood Chris Pine, or... Do you think that was all real drama or do you think that they were all in on this? Open your third eye here. I know you love conspiracy theories because they knew this would guarantee a big weekend for a middling movie. Do you think that this was more sinister and engineered? Maybe by Olivia and Harry post-coital than it may seem on the screen or in the tabloid. I think this is a thing that a lot of people have been wondering and considering. I don't think Harry has it in him. I think he's going to be like, oh, babe, I just feel weird doing that. You know, like, I don't know. And I feel like Olivia is definitely like. whatever whatever i have to do to get this she's a she's a puppet master she's a puppet master monster is the vibe i get from her yeah um and i love stare i love her staring into her soulless eyes on the red carpet and seeing you know kind of through her she does not have a line you know what i mean where harry is like i'll do a lot of things but i won't do that you know my i've got young fans you know i don't want to mess yeah harry's like harry's like look i'll suck chris pine's dick i would not spit on him that's crazy that's fucking great not him but not him and even though he likes it in public i don't i don't i don't think it was i don't think it was because i think that

It's so risky to pull that off and not have something fall through the cracks. If somebody finds out and there is Hunter Biden laptop style evidence that's real and vetted, you can't come back from that. To me, is it just genius marketing? I'm not going to see this movie regardless, but if I found out that this was all a well-planned heist oceans 12 style by olivia wilde and her co-conspirators i personally it's like when you see an influencer you know get a big client i'm just happy for them you're on the inside you're you literally do branding and marketing campaigns for a living so when you see this you go haha kudos to you you know respect i'm saying game recognize game is this olivia wilde's version of the mannequin challenge You know what I mean? Did Olivia, was this manufactured in some way? Or not even manufactured. Maybe some of these events happened, but maybe the way they were released, the way they were spun, the way they were spoken about was more engineered than we realized, which I think would be. the correct assumption when you think about hollywood and those twisted minds and what they'll do to get their hands in our pockets i think this is something that has definitely happened before you know what i mean like create drama where it wasn't in order to get buzz no press bad press type of shit i think that's been happening for decades for sure but sure it's sort of like how uh how far do we want to crank that dial whereas in the 70s it's like i will do a little bit of this spin a little bit of that you know get a few people talking You know, no press, bad press. But as time progresses and you're like, let's see how far we can push this without anybody noticing. And then that's when you start getting into trouble where you crank that soldier boy just a little too hard. And then people are like, wait a minute. Like we're straight up being lied to by Harry Styles. And Harry's like, I can't be opening for Dev Hines. Like this is too risky. I'm not even a good actor. I don't even want to act. You guys are making me act.

I'm not going to throw it all away for a Nick Kroll movie. That's a good point. I'm not going to play at pianos to make my chick. I can't go back to doing Elsewhere on a Sunday night, guys. We can't fuck this up. I got MSG for 12 nights. Don't do this, Olivia. Damn, bro. I'm going to be burning CDs for Dev if this shit goes south. So I think that there was a little bit of that. I think it was less of like... you know, whatever black ops agent being like, all right, here's the dossier of what we're going to do. And you guys have to be on board or else we're going to kill your family or whatever. Like, I don't think it's that sinister. I think it's more of like, you know, you guys are actors. Go out there and act, you know, do a little, just like do this. Don't go too far, just a little bit. And just do enough to have people kind of raise their eyebrow like, oh, this is fun to watch. Because it is fun to watch. Because that's the thing, it works. So I'm like, either way, she's winning. Because Hollywood doesn't care about... If you make a movie that is profitable with this many stars in it, and you're already a star, you will get the opportunity to make another movie. You know what I mean? So the victory is hers. But she's made other movies before, and I think the only question of whether or not this is a yay or a nay is like... How much is Olivia a fan of her own work? Because if she fancies herself a serious artist where like, all I have to do is make the best film possible and that'll speak for itself. I don't even need a marketing campaign. And how much is she like, maybe we need to do some weird shit to get people into this movie theater because the movie is not that good. I mean, she's definitely, I mean, she's definitely got a healthy ego. You have to, to be an actress or a director. But I think the reality is, is that, you know. no one i think it's very difficult to have that much confidence these days with with all these like i think you have to understand like yeah we got to make we got to go to every film festival we got to do every single thing we can to make this work you know and i think that's kind of how they got here i think the festival stuff that's par for the course whenever you're doing that but i think it's it's sort of like do you are you willing to lower the value of your life's work

down to a stunt marketing campaign you know what i mean like i mean bro yeah of course i'm sure when godfather 2 came out and they're like all right we're gonna do this thing where we duct tape al pacino to a billboard on sunset boulevard that's gonna you know like then they're gonna be like the fuck are you talking about you know is olivia gonna be like we're not gonna do that this is the best movie i've ever made in my life it's gonna be legendary we do live in a different time first of all we do i i don't think that i think that they know it's part of it but i i was I'm not going to see it. I barely know what it's about. I've seen the trailer only in movie theaters. I've never seen it anywhere else. And it always comes on at the AMC after Nicole Kidman does her shit. And it's just like a bizarre, it's like an Edward Scissorhands style in the universe. Speaking of, no, quickly, I want to talk about this Nicole Kidman thing because I never want to. to hear about it again. Let's put the bitch to bed. It's just not that funny. It's not that weird. It's just not that interesting, and people could not stop fucking talking about it. It's fine. There was no reason that that should have been a story. The last time I went to a movie at AMC and they played that, when Kidman comes on the screen, people stand up and start... clapping like they give that a standing oh we gotta we gotta stop bro we gotta blow ironically or not we gotta stop society and start it over that is disgusting okay just put yourself in my in my hokas i go to a movie theater i'm gonna see some bullshit ass movie you know i don't even know what it was obviously i'm i'm chiefing on the in the parking structure or i'm gummied up so i'm high as a biscuit in there i got dr pepper in one hand popcorn the other hand and then out of nowhere kidman just comes up and just blast into that monologue. No, bro. Everyone is just like, what the fuck? No, I don't care. It was insane to watch. The very first time you ever see it, you're like, the most famous legendary actress alive right now is shilling movie theater commercials. This is the same shit. What blood deal did she make with fucking Weinstein to do this? What's going on here? No, this is the same thing. These are the same kind of people that clap when the plane lands, bro. Do you want to be part of that? I don't think you do, and that's my issue. It's the same kind of people. No, no, no. I think the people that are clapping is...

I want the world to know that I think this is funny and not serious. And I'm clapping because it's lull and not because I like Nicole Kidman. And I think the plain clappers are not doing it for the lull. Unless you find yourself around an ironic plain clapper, then I'm kind of into that. How do you feel about that, Chris? I hate it. Like starting an ironic plain clap like the wave. at a soccer game oh i see we call it soccer now that the that the dollar has changed by the way oh i see okay i'm i'm no i've i have more i have more important entertainment news to discuss and it's kind of sent me in a weird place because i have lots i have three entertainment news is to talk about okay well then we can breeze through this cops is back jason no need to breeze baby no need to breeze it's sunday cops is back and it's uh being rebooted on a network called fox nation so I'm obviously not going to watch it, but I watched so much Cops as a child on Saturday nights at 8 p.m., and I don't know why I was fascinated with it, because I've always hated Cops, but I loved the program. And it glorified them, but also didn't. I don't know. It's such a strange thing how popular it was. I mean, it's like, you know, it's like it's reality. You know, people watching a horror movie like, oh, don't go in there. Don't go down. Oh, now you fuck. That's how you get. That's a warrant. No, that's now that's felony. Now, you know, like they like to they like to see that and be like, I shouldn't have done that. I don't know. I just I just was shocked to see it's back. And especially because I read that news on Hypebeast. So that's that's my favorite part of that whole thing. I feel like how do you even do cops nowadays? How do you even film that? I mean, everyone already, like, it's like hashtag film the police. And I'm sure the police department wants to do anything and everything to avoid the thought of filming the police because all it does is get them in trouble. So I feel like hiring a professional camera crew to go do that, it's all going to be fake. Because back then, at least, like, it felt kind of real, kind of fake.

They would never let it be actual real events. It's all going to be like scripted psyop shit. No, they're probably happy because they're going to be like, oh, okay, perfect. I can turn my body cam off, and if this guy tries to release any footage of me doing anything, I'll just kill him. That's probably the vibe. They've definitely found a way to make it work for them because they're awful. So that's my guess. Okay, so no need for the body cam because we hired the drone boys to film this shit. Yeah, exactly. We're just going to let it rock, and if they release any footage we don't like, we know. where they live you know kind of situation they have last final cut on it exactly yeah they got yeah they're like they're like serena with her documentary they got final cut so it's like you know it's it's only the good stuff's gonna make it through uh only the good stuff's gonna final cut also like our friend woody allen who uh just like our other friend federer they both retired the same week kind of interesting when you think about it i've never seen those two in the same room together How do you feel about Woody retiring? No, that's the whole thing. He's not actually retiring. He came out after that and was like, I'm not actually retiring. Oh, okay. Damn, never mind. I mean, he's just going to die. It's fine. And it's also like people will see his movies until the end of time. It doesn't matter. And they're just going to get worse. But he'll still get very famous people to be in it. I mean, Roger retiring. Obviously, it was time. The stuff of him and Nadal holding hands and crying, a little dramatic for me personally. I agree. I agree. Because the look on Nadal's face, his cry face, was that of a two-year-old getting his treat taken away from him. But I like that kind of energy of, like, you took my baba away, I'm crying. Juxtapose while he's wearing an $11 million Audemars. He's wearing the Richard Milley. Yeah, the Richard Milley. I don't think that the – I just don't – I don't know. When athletes retire, it feels like it's truly because –

they have to like for physical limitations you know what i mean which obviously there's still like incredible specimens and they could run fucking circles around us but like it gets to a point where it's i think you're retiring because you can't win and all you've ever wanted to do and all you care about is winning and i think you see the writing on the wall where it's like okay these i'm i'm gonna get destroyed by a [redacted address] i can beat this guy i'm 42 years old and it's just like i'm already rich enough like my body is probably fucked already even you know tennis is obviously less impact than like you're not gonna get cte or anything but it's it's you're still a professional athlete i just don't i don't i don't i can't feel anything about sports like that like i don't feel emotions about sports but like i'm sure they're i'm not an expert in their relationship by any means but i'm sure it's interesting because It's kind of like the president's club shit where it's like there's only so many of us that are this good at something. And we have this understanding and respect and relationship that outsiders just can't understand. So even though we went at each other publicly for literally. 15 years and it was like a a seesaw of who was better and that was like the narrative in the sport i think it comes down to like no one understands this except us and we have this bond and that's where the emotions actually come from is my my take on it from the outside yeah yeah yeah all that makes sense and i think that same bond happens with with the the parasocial relationship between the fan and the athlete or whoever it is that's retiring where it's like i don't even You know, like I'm never going to meet you. I have no personal connection to you, but you've just been a part of my life because I like watching tennis or whatever. Like I'm, you know, I'm your biggest fan or whatever. So it really does become emotional because you're, you know, you're putting a part of your life to bed as well. With athletes, it's a lot more sad because when you are like a scientist or whatever, you know, a filmmaker or a doctor or something, you can work, you know, into the end of your life. And as an athlete.

You can still, you know, Nadal and Federer, they're still the best drivers. Their car is just totaled at this point. And, you know, there's nothing you can do about it. And that's kind of the sad part. That's why it's extra sad, because it's like I want to keep going. Mentally, I'm a better player than Alcaraz. Yeah, bro, it's like you're 43. You got fucking $200 million. i don't i just don't feel much about it i just can't it's just like bro you did it the highest level it's well it's because it's your identity it's your identity of course everything you've ever known i don't mean i don't mean for him i think of course it's huge for i mean oh okay you mean for the for the fans yeah it's like dude like there's other i get it like this was your favorite and you're just gonna get another favorite like you have no skin in the game on this like you i agree you like why it's like if even if a band stops touring that i love i'm not like oh my god this is so sad like they They're rich. They did it. They made a bunch of stuff I liked. Great. There's other stuff I like. It's all good. It's like when you see somebody on Instagram do a memorial post about their dog dying. It's like, yeah, just go buy a new one, bro. Yeah, it's like that affects you only. You know what I mean? Obviously, this is in a different space because this guy's a global superstar. But I mean, I do think it's cool that the last match was doubles with him. I think it's like all nice. I just think that the... People having these deep emotional connections to things that they aren't a part of is a little bit hard for me to swallow, personally. I'm sure I have them, too. I'm trying to pinpoint them, and I don't know if I would feel anything. I guess the easiest one for me is music. You know what I mean? I don't think I would care if I heard the Smiths would never play again or whatever. I would be like, okay, well, they had enough. You know what I mean? If tomorrow morning you wake up and there's a Twitter post that Built to Spill is finally going to retire, you're not going to call 988.

No, I'm just, like, sick. Fuck off the ledge. These guys get to chill now. They made a lot of great records. They did okay monetarily. Like, they're legends. Like, they're going out on top. What's the problem? You know what I mean? I agree. I just don't. I feel the same way as you. I think it's, like, I think it's better to do that than it is to, like, obviously it's different if, like, we see Federer break his femur at Wimbledon and that knocks him out for the rest of it. That's different. Obviously, that's, like, a little. Because that, when I see an athlete get really injured, I do feel something then. Because I think that is, like, That is like, you know, obviously completely out of their control. And that to me is more shocking than like a retirement. Oh, yeah. Because then you get to say that's going to leave a mark, ironically. And then, you know, it's going to be fucking sick. I take a screenshot and say that's going to leave a mark and then kind of post it on Twitter when it's like somebody's... That's going to leave a mark. When somebody's boat is popping out of their skin. That's usually what I like to do that the most. I went to... So yesterday, we went to a friend of mine from years and years ago. She opened a store here called Antidote that's like a freestanding... Travis Scott pop-up? No, it's really kind of insane because it's like Rick Owens, Tom Brown, Jill Sander undercover. It's like super... very high-end, kind of dark-leaning fashion in this freestanding building. The design's crazy. If you're in Atlanta and you want to get Rick down to the dick, this is where you go. This is where you go. And it's this beautiful space. It's got a parking lot. I was just really impressed with it. Her name is Lauren. I've known her for a long time, so I'm very happy for her because she's like... a big couture person she's like really into this shit and has been for years so i know this is like a big she's an actual fashion killer yeah yeah she's actually a fashion killer but so i'm alex and i walk around the store and i'm like damn this is fucking crazy they got all this shit like this this nothing like this has ever existed in the south you know what i mean for sure there goes the neighborhood and then i start talking to one of the guys that works there you know he's like are you guys from out of town like yeah but i'm from here and you know blah blah blah so tell me the story

This motherfucker tells me he's from Conyers. Oh, no. This motherfucker. Throw your seeds up. This motherfucker, Rick, down to the dick, is telling me he's from Conyers. I'm like, damn, bro. I love seeing another guy that made out the slums and is going to spend his whole paycheck on clothes that look crazy. So it was like looking in the mirror. It was a little bit. I felt a little. I felt. Yeah, I felt some emotion there. Did you guys have anything else in common other than your. you know sort of rags to riches get it out the mud fashion story no not that i uncovered in that trip but i'll obviously be going back to build with him because i see i see something in myself he had he i was just very i was shocked to hear that i was just like you're from where and he's 25 so it's like that you know that's a big age difference so i was just like damn this is This mirrors my story of breaking out of the small town and just getting into retail. Who knows where this guy's going to go, Jason? This guy could be president of the United States. And he wasn't a listener of how long gone? He didn't recognize your patented voice or anything? I mean, I'm sure he was playing it cool. You know what I mean? He didn't ask for an autograph or anything. But I don't think so. And that's even more cool. Not you, the man, big dog. That's even cooler to me is that he doesn't even check the Wikipedia and look at Conyers and see it's Chris Black, Dakota Fanning, Cartel. you know that's kind of in that order and i'm surprised for him to not bring that up this is so hot it's really like why can't more guys be like that but i was just the whole situation was just kind of crazy to me i was like damn the store exists like you know obviously every city changes and that's what happens and like the i was just like damn this is crazy there's still guys like coming from the same shitty suburb i grew up in and doing the same thing that i was doing and you know it's obviously it's a little different i was more into let's say, diesel or something at that time, and he's more into $1,[redacted address]. Time's changed, Jason. Both of you guys are still coming from the gutter with roaches and rats. That's right. And working your way up to eating kava for lunch three days a week. Bro, I did not get any hummus on my ricks. Do not even say that, bro. Okay, well, yeah, shout out to that retail employee. I'm sure he's an awesome guy.

I did want to talk about Grimes' face. I mean, what do you think the point is? I think the point is going to be at the tip of the ear. She wants to go full elf, but I think she's also doing lots of other stuff. I think the R slash Grimes stans are not into it. They like the pure, innocent version of this devil monster woman. But is it like, has she just run out of... things to like what is the you know what i mean like what is the do you where do you think this comes from emotionally i think i think she's always been you know that phrase i don't know like they should they should have never let y'all have money or something like that like when people talk about like those like fucked up poor people that somehow get rich and then they just like like people like that should not have all the power to do whatever like she should have just stayed in her lane of being like a fucking quirked out tweaker chick she should have stayed in that lane but then she sort of like worked her way into becoming an extremely wealthy person with extremely wealthy connections and now she can do whatever she wants and maybe that's not necessarily a good thing you know some of her ideas are going to be a little but also i like it just like as a as a person who's just like life is meaningless and like i'm just an artist and this is part of my art i'm gonna like give myself insane plastic surgery just to see what it's like yeah I mean I yeah but I just don't I guess with someone like that I'm also just I'm pocket checking a little bit I'm like how much money do you have like I don't even understand what she has done in the last 10 years I know one song kind of and then that she has a baby with Elon Musk I don't know what I don't know what else she has produced or done in her entire career well I mean she she does fine financially on her own with her music career But I think the part where you said the Elon Musk baby, that's what moves her into the upper echelon of wealth to where she has the power to do whatever she wants. Yeah, of course. I'm sure she has some blackmail dirt on him. And I'm sure she has a very comfortable alimony stipend from the world's richest person. So she can sort of do truly whatever she wants. She's got a carte blanche.

Blank check on everything. I don't think her music career is that successful, to be honest with you. I think she's basically irrelevant if she doesn't have a baby with Elon Musk. No, no, no. She has a rabid fan base. I mean, she doesn't sell huge numbers, but she can tour and make millions of dollars on her own career. She makes millions of dollars every year in her own music. I believe you, but I just don't... I just feel like I never hear about anything music related. That's not what, you know what I mean? That's not what you hear about, but I guess if you have like rabbit, it doesn't matter. It kind of has like a weird, like Lana Del Rey. Sure. Yeah. Azalea Banks sort of like real, just like staunch fandom. Like if you, if you're a super fan, you're like, it's your life type of shit, you know? So it's, it's less of the. millions of fans and, like, the dedicated 10,000 people who are just going to follow you forever. No, you're right. I mean, that's true. I mean, I guess. And when you have that on her, you know, and she'll DJ raves and, you know, if she does a show, you know, she'll do... 7,500 cap rooms or something like that, and you do a worldwide tour and do 50 dates, you're making a few hours. That's not a joke. I'm sure she's doing some Final Fantasy soundtrack games. Yeah, no, she's definitely... And also, I'm sure she has like $700,000 million of crypto and shit. I know she sold out her stadium shows in the Metaverse, for sure, and the Roblox. tour did very well no she did it she did a thing like right when everyone was selling nfts oh she actually made a fortune like in a quick yeah in um in one one day she did a an nft release featuring original music and artwork and things like that she made six million in one day oh shit that's fire i do i do kind of remember that maybe i maybe i do like grimes i mean hopefully she sold she sold all that ethereum like Tesla did, but... Yeah, good point. Another Grimes pump and dump. Grimes is wetty with the pump and dump. I'm bullish on Grimes. That's the name of her new EP, Pump and Dump. I think I'm waiting for her to heal, and then we'll make a final decision. Not emotionally. You're talking about...

the swelling to go down waiting for this one to go down she's got six months you know probably till it really settles you know what i mean so we're gonna have to kind of we're gonna kind of have to wait until that until that goes down um but i i will be obviously paying attention you know i'll be tracking it closely well yeah we've got eyes on this thing don't worry guys so we should um an update on our live shows we uh we've sold out the troubadour show in west hollywood in la so If you want to see us in L.A., you have to get tickets for the lodge room in Highland Park. That's right, yeah. And we should announce that friend of the show and our dog Joe Manday from Hacks will be joining us at the Troubadour. Yeah, Joe Manday will be coming out at the Troubadour show, and I'm sure every show will have other. Fun comedic and musical surprises around. We're going to announce them as we see fit. So, you know, it's kind of like you get it when you get it, Chief. Just wait on it. But, yeah, so Troubadour sold out. If you want to see us in L.A., make sure you get tickets for our show at the Lodge Room. Those are available on howlonggone.com. Also, the same situation for the New York shows should be happening very soon, if not already, where our Williamsburg show is close to selling out. So then you'll have to go Bowery Bottom if you want. So if you want to see us in Brooklyn, there's a few more tickets left before they're gone for the Williamsburg Music Hall. Otherwise, it's Bowery Boys, and thank you all for buying tickets. We appreciate you, and we'll have some cool new merch from a few friends of ours available soon as well. We also won't be providing Uber codes, so just kind of plan ahead as far as that goes. If you have to kind of switch boroughs or neighborhoods to attend one of the How Long Gone Live shows. Do keep that in mind. We apologize, but we also don't apologize. And we've got some big pods coming up next week, baby. Yeah, twisted week of pods this week. We're tapping in with a true OG of the medium, which I'm very excited about.

Luckily, we'll get more into this, but Jason's coming to the ATL for some big, big events. Yeah, at the end of the week, I'll be touching down. Jason's coming to ATL. I'm unfortunately going to have to probably trade in the truck by then, which I do apologize for. We call that a comfort minus. Parking is parking, dog. No, but otherwise, yeah, we're all good. We're going to put up some merch before the tour, kind of some online exclusives that they're cooking right now and should be finished in the very near future. Thank you guys for listening, and thank you guys for getting your tickets. It'll be a Frank Ocean-style surprise drop. Yeah, yeah, Frank Ocean's surprise drop. I'm sure we'll do a million, million and a half the way he does. So, yeah, thank you guys for listening. Send a shout-out to the Iranian homies. We're thinking of you. We are. Everyone have a great week. Later. Later.