416. - Chris & Jason

All right, this episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Stateside with Kai and Carter, a new podcast from The Guardian. And they are using this podcast to slow down the news and wrestle with the questions that we all have about what's happening in the world. And they do it three times a week, Jason. Does that sound familiar to you? We don't really talk about, you know, a lot of international global news items and climates and cultures and sports and things like that. We do talk about fashion and wellness, but for everything else, Kai and Carter are a great place. All right, so who couldn't use more news? Listen wherever you get your podcast. or watch on YouTube. Hello, hello. Today is Sunday. It's Monday for you, and it is cold. I'm drinking smoothie. tasting something like some fucking earth bar shit made it i'm really on one today chris you're in toronto you poor baby what's up yeah it's also cold here and you know i didn't prepare properly so i am walking to and from uh berries uh in the classic white man uh shorts with jacket when there's a chance of flurries I don't love that, but I only had what I had, so I'm kind of having to thug it out. So you're saying you're thugging it out because there's a slight chance of flurries happen? I saw some flurries this morning on my stroll to Berries, and I tried to ignore it, but luckily it doesn't seem to be picking up any steam or sticking to the... cold hard concrete of the six. Look, Chris, I'm a California surfer guy. What does a flurry mean? I know that that's a dessert from McDonald's. Shaq likes it, but... I think this is snow-related. What exactly is a flurry? A flurry is when the precipitation is snow-like, but it's so light and kind of honestly hard to see with the human eye at times. But you feel it, and it's not snow, it's not sleet, it's not rain, it's its own form of precipitation. It's like an amuse-bouche, kind of. It is like a sign that...

inclement weather could be coming um but i'm choosing to take it more as the last winter uh whether i will see for 2022 is my hope okay i'm so i'm so desperate to touch down in big cali i can i i can literally taste the buffalo cauliflower it's great i feel like you might need something stronger than california like you you might have to change the weather and you know Go to Bali or Perth or Adelaide or Bris Vegas or something. I don't know. I'm so cold. I got to go to Adelaide to kind of get my... Bodhi temperature up? No, it'll be fine. I know LA is cold for you, but after being on the East Coast for a full month, I'm desperately in need of some Cali swag. I can't wait to get behind the wheel of the car. Be in the car for 30 minutes when it should take 10. I realize today that I've done Barry's 10 days in a row, and I feel absolutely insane. And I need to kind of break the streak, unfortunately. Okay. Were you doing this so you could unlock a badge or something like that? It's giving badge play. They do have a badge program. And they keep telling me, why don't you sign up? And I told them that I don't like games. And they thought that was funny, but I also don't know if they kind of, I think they thought I was insane. Right. But yeah, I did say I don't play games. They thought it was funny. I don't need to receive a free Barry's hoodie. Okay. Like that's the reward. Like you're already, the reward is my physical form. Right. The reward is not going to, you know, a hoodie I'm not going to wear is not going to help me. So you're telling Barry's, hey. Come talk to me when you got a gift that is something of value to me, but at the moment I don't need a branded Wawa bottle. Yeah, exactly. If I complete my 750th class. Luckily, Barry's does not sell, at least to my knowledge, the bottles with the connected straw. So they're one step ahead of the true fools. But I've heard some of the most twisted, because we've been talking about mashups.

In our group chat. I've heard some of the most twisted mashups at Barry's Toronto this week that I've ever, I can't believe it. Okay. Today I heard Guns N' Roses and the Killers mashed up together for one twisted song. Mr. Brightside with what? The famous. Sweet Child of Mine. Yes, the Sweet Child of Mine. Sorry, I couldn't make it. So yeah, the killer is Mr. Brightside mixed with Sweet Child of Mine. You can imagine how bad that is. But then yesterday, I tweeted about this. This is one of the craziest things I've ever heard. Phantom Planets, California, Here We Come, mixed with... Early Drake classic over. I can't imagine it. Like, I'm sure I'll have to go on one of my funky little websites and download this mash, but I really can't. I know both of those songs, and when you say it to me, my brain's just like glitching out, like does not compute vibes, you know? It was glitching out. I mean, imagine me trying to hit a 14 on that last 30 second sprint. And I'm like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. You can't put these songs together. They have no relation. I guess that's the idea of the mashup. It's taking two things from opposite corners of the world and pushing them together to make one classic banger. Yeah, that's what Diplo does. You're talking about when you take two different songs. No, I'm not talking about raping and pillaging from other cultures. Okay. But I'm asking you, I guess, as a professional D turntablist. Oh, shit, I just remembered Diplo's birthdays tonight. I got the invite. It's bowling. Wow, wow. I guess that's better than skating. Quickly, just before we move on. Don't come for Shipka. From the mashup, I would never come for a queen. Shipka, if you're listening, sorry I forgot to come last night. I went to Jar instead. Jar! I sent my regards to Kiernan because I also, I'm not out of town, but also I don't know if that's the place where I learned to roller skate as a person who's never been on roller skates in my entire life. Yeah, I didn't want to be like, yo, is it cool if I...

Just kind of post up in the corner and send out vibes. Nobody wants that. I don't think the members of Young Hollywood want to see me busting my 40-year-old ass all over the hardwoods. But my question for you is regarding mashups. What would you say as a DJ who lived through and was responsible for music programming during the height of the mashup? What is the pinnacle of the form? What is the greatest mashup ever created? What got the dance floor going? What is ZTrip's piece de resistance? I don't know how you can pick just one because everyone has a mash that speaks to them. I understand that. In a certain way. But is there one? You're not a personal one, just like. by and large, general consensus, when you would reach deep into the depths of your black Mac MacBook with the Serato program. Why are you coming for a black MacBook? I love the black MacBook. It was made out of a nice rubber material that I think Apple should bring back. I obviously don't care if it's sustainable or not. But I don't mean to put you on the spot. I just assumed there was one that came to mind as the dominating track of the era. I almost think that it has to be... um like girl talk or something i mean like obviously people say like the gray album is probably the greatest one but the gray album dorky yeah the gray album is fucking dorky that's some dusty hip-hop shit i mean something that would get the girlies to throw their vodka sodas in the air i mean it's got to be either girl talk or like You know, some kind of, like, Avicii song that they put a different thing on there. Yeah, I mean, Girl Talk was a fucking moment. He truly defined the genre even more than my man Z.

Girl Talk is definitely still getting 20 bands to DJ the University of Wisconsin homecoming. Yeah, I bet he is. No way. I don't think so. Look, I'm sure Girl Talk listens to this podcast. Girl, come on the show. Let's talk. I think it'd be funny. I mean, he was a... Well, you know the whole thing with him is that he was like a... I believe the story is he was an actual scientist. I think so, yeah. When he rose to prominence. as a dj so he has something to fall back on which is nice because a lot of you guys don't i mean look what you have to do for money now yeah he's like look i'm a scientist And it's not letting me have sex with 19-year-olds. So what is it that I can do? Is there anything? Is there anything I can do? Yes. I will put saran wrap on my Acer and go to sorority houses and see what happens. I can't blame him. Look, and I know you can't either. It was a cultural shift. Look, I show up with a USB stick and I got nothing but bops, bangers, and stuff for the girlies, the gays. The Dolls and the Queens, he shows up with his USB stick. It's got a special password-protected folder on there. You know what I'm saying? It's like, oh, don't look at my special folder drive. Don't look at my special folder. They're eight seconds each. Okay, well, I'm glad we got to the bottom of that. And I wanted to also tell you about my experience at Maddie Matheson's Prime Seafood Palace. Oh, a CB restaurant review. Let's go. Yeah, I went with... Friend of the show, Oliver El-Khatib. So it was a real mob ties vibe at our table, as you can imagine. So this was a Don's dinner. This was a Don's dinner. Yeah, I had come straight from Pearson, so I had to store the Remova in the coat closet, which they were, of course, nice enough to accommodate. I'm horny as hell just hearing all of these details right now. I like it. I know, I know. But Oliver and I both are fitness-focused. cats you know so he's looking at the menu i'm looking at the menu and i'm like okay well this is going to be this is going to be interesting so it's just two guys who ordered um two pieces of white fish you know one each um and then we did we did get a little litty with the sides um and we're able to get the greens as well as a cabbage that was delicious from maddie's farm uh there was

There was also a potato that comes in these nice squares. So you're saying you went litty with the cabbage? The cabbage. And what was the other side that you got? There was some greens, and there was also some... Oh, okay. So some greens and cabbage. So you were just going off the rails is what it sounds like. Well, hold on. I'm not fucking done. I'm not fucking done, okay? And then there was also a carrot tart, which is something that I don't know if you've ever kind of taken part in, but it was a bit... Beautiful carrots from Blue Goose Farm chopped finely in a nice pastry crust with a little bit of, I believe there's a cheese, a small layer of cheese at the bottom. Damn. That's what they're doing over there down at Blue Goose Farms. Blue Goose Farms produced hella stuff for the menu. Yeah. I didn't realize it was that. I knew it was operational. I didn't know it was that operational. You know what I mean? That's smart. I mean, that's how you make them. What is that called? It's like full circle or. Oh, yeah. Circular. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like the snake's eating itself. It's a self-sustaining... ecosystem where everything is made in-house and sold in-house and blah, blah, blah. It's the future, guys. I was able to have also a piece of key lime pie to kind of top off the meal that really was delicious. Okay, fat boy. So we were having this dinner. We were catching up. It was a two-hour meeting of the minds, of course, OVOCB mode unlocked. And the table behind me, like behind Oliver that I was looking at, seemed to be eight 16-year-old Koreans in streetwear. I don't know if they interacted with each other at all. I think they only used their phones the entire meal. But the problem was I wanted to know who paid. I wanted to know if they split it or if one of them was the Don Dada of the squad and put down his dad's MX and paid for the whole meal. They probably have some type of WeChat app where it just does it automatically.

It just splits. They don't have to talk about it. It just kind of splits everything. Everybody gets paid. There's no discussion needed. Yeah, but also it could be a Korean thing to not do a splitsies. I think it might be some type of honor system where they're like, no. Like whoever the boss is, whoever's the elder person or whatever, I'm assuming has to kind of pay for that. Okay. So in this case, it was the senior instead of the juniors in high school. He had to pick up the tab. But the thing I noticed most about their content creation, fucking flash on, baby. They didn't give a shit. Okay. these little turds when you're running video flash we're talking multiple seconds you know what i mean this isn't this isn't the contacts okay so video flash so that means that someone's bringing out like a instagrammable moment dish where oh we're gonna drizzle the thing on the thing so everybody film it kind of i mean in this case it was like obviously like a you know 16 pound Wagyu, you know, it was a large piece of meat, which I know does well on Instagram. Like, I know that the meat stuff does pretty well on Instagram. Yeah, and typically in my past, yeah. I know you've had certain messages that you could send. Oh, Jason's 16-pound meat. The engagement on the meat stuff is good. Shockingly great. Okay, so the Korean teenagers in Givenchy were on to something, so that's good to know. I didn't follow their lead, but I did want to capture some content, but I was able to restrain myself in that high-end environment. Well, yeah, I think in that situation, what you want to try to do is grab some of their light that they're producing. Drifting? Yes. Drifting. It's an F1 term. Yes, on the cycle. Or, you know, lots of other sports do it. But, yeah, you want to drift and catch some of that nice Korean lighting because I'm assuming that their lighting is better than ours based on technology and things like that. I would, yeah. I mean, they were definitely using Samsung phones that fold, you know, is the vibe over there. It's kind of interesting. You know, like how we talk about or we make fun of Australians all the time for...

thinking that their produce is is better but when you ask them how is it better they just say it's better yeah like they have no there's no quantifiable data behind it it's just better i can't explain it it's just better and i think the same thing might apply for koreans and just anything okay okay i mean obviously electronics but like art media music film it's just like How are you guys just killing it at everything? And they're like, yeah, we're just better because we just are better. You know, that's just the same kind of vibe. So they just, their cell phone lighting. software systems, it's just better. We can't explain it. It's just better. I mean, I think that there is, yeah, I mean, I think when you come from the future and you have to come back to North America and kind of slum it, you know, it is easy to be superior and not need to explain yourself, which is a nice quality. Yeah, that is quite a privilege, a K-Priv. So you're saying it's a table full of teens, all fellas. Maybe a one or two they, thems in the mix. No, there were a couple of females, but it seemed like a very platonic group of friends that were hanging together on a Wednesday. Homie vibes only. And you said, so maybe like a six top and nobody is talking to each other or conversating. Everyone is just on their phones cranking. And then when a high. high ticket item or an instagram like the caviar service comes yeah then everyone kind of perks up and starts uh firing up their cameras no that's that's that's what i noticed i wasn't obviously i was deep in conversation myself so i wasn't really locked in but i would glance up every i mean you're building with ovo you sort of have to give your full attention otherwise it's just kind of rude it is rude especially in the city you know what i mean like i can't like especially in the city you wouldn't want that getting back to the boy no when you touch down in toronto and there's a new drake album it really the energy is palpable that's not that's not interesting that's not a joke it's like the first day of summer in new york yeah exactly it's like when it's like when all

All the girlies put their short skirts on because it gets above 70 degrees. New Drake just dropped. Titties is out. Sundress season. Let's fucking go. I'm back in my feelings again, et cetera. The fact that I wasn't able to rent a Turo, a white Range Rover, just for the night to listen to her loss while driving down Queen Street is a miss on my part. But I just didn't really have the foresight. It was kind of my fault. I wonder if when a new Drake album comes out, hotel prices in Toronto go up a little bit. The Bentley dealership orders extra stock? Yeah, it's like an air raid siren where the whole city has to sort of prepare. Oh, shit. This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Squarespace. Obviously, Jason, you and I spend a lot of time on the World Wide Web. So do our peers, our listeners, our friends, our colleagues. Obviously. Maybe even your parents if they're freaky. And if you're doing anything in the world, writing, taking pictures. I do topless boxing. You need a website. Exactly. A website that works, that does what it's supposed to do, that allows you to be creative but also business-minded. Jason, there's one place to go for that, Squarespace. Yeah, Chris, I'm over here. I'm modifying calculators and putting Claude inside of them so you could cheat at school. And I just want a place where I could, you know, have everything all in one place. I can have the SEO tools so those future graduates can find me. And, you know, I'm able to accept, quote, unquote, donations for my services that might be gray area. You know what I mean? And then email campaigns. Hey, I got a new 2.3 version upgrade. Boom, boom, boom. Get the analytics going. Raise some money. Show your investor all of your cool analytics of what's going on. They're going to want to get in early. And we can use Blueprint AI to make your website look as professional as your competition, if not more. So head to squarespace.com slash howlong for a free trial. When you're ready to launch, use offer code howlong to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain. This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by a new podcast from The Guardian stateside with Kai and Carter. This is covering a lot of our bases, Jason. It's trying to slow down.

The news and wrestle with the questions we all have about what's happening in the world. And I know you particularly have quite a lot of questions. A lot of questions. But how often? Because we do this podcast three times a week and that's a sweet spot. How many times do they do? Three times a week. And I have a feeling just based on the platform and these talking points that they're maybe going to be covering different stuff than we do. That's just a guess. The Guardian is not some billionaire owned. They're not afraid to say what they want to say, brother. Yeah, Rupert ain't sniffing around in what journalists Kai Wright and Carter Sherman are up to over there at Stateside. But yeah, listen wherever you get your podcast. You can watch it on YouTube. It's three times a week. And who couldn't use more news? Especially when it's not from here, let's say. Give it a listen. Give it a listen. All right, this episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Quince. Jason, the temps are warming up. It's getting hot out there. Summer always changes how I get dressed. I need pieces that feel lighter, more breathable, and they're just easy but still put together. I don't want to look like a slob. That's why I keep coming back to Quince. They focus on high-quality essentials that feel and look amazing. Breathable linen and soft organic cottons. Well-made basics but without the luxury markups. That rare balance where everything feels elevated. but still effortless. Yeah, Chris, linen season is here. I wore a linen blazer to dinner a few nights ago in the warm California sun. But, you know, you got that Italy trip coming up this summer and quality European linen pants and shirts. Upgrade that look starting at just $34. You know, if you get a nice linen suit, a little t-shirt underneath it, some chill shoes, you're looking good, but you're staying cool. The inside of your special areas are nice and dry as you turn up with your besties. So elevate that summer wardrobe. Go to quince.com slash how long for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns, even on a nice holiday now available in Canada.

That is Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash how long. That'll get you free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince punto com slash how long. I will say that the Four Seasons was sold out this weekend. The Fashion Nova servers are crashing. Do something. Yeah, it could be a lot of things. I think they closed certain roads in Scarborough, actually. Just to kind of make sure nothing goes down. You know, make sure nothing crazy happens. And people just line up on the streets, marathon style, and just sort of start crying a little bit. Exactly. At the beauty of the album rollout. I can't believe the tiny desk was, I thought it was real. I thought it was real. Anytime a phantom drives by, they just start crying. Just because it might be him. It might be him. I was going to ask you about Jar. Yeah, you know. Bay has been working all week, and she needed a little wrap party. We went over, secured the res at JAR, a friend of the show, John Early's. favorite eatery it's a fairly easy reservation to secure which is nice it is that's and it's always it's always busy but you can always kind of get a res and even if you don't have a res you can kind of cruise up put your name down sit at the bar and like it's like it's like an enjoyable bar to sit at you know yeah yeah it really is a bygone era type of restaurant vibe i mean the food is is good it's not excellent but I ain't complaining. I ain't knocking it. Who really wants excellent? You know what I mean? I'm going to say excellence overrated. I want excellence because, well, I mean, finished is better than perfect or whatever. Zach Bia might tweet. But, you know, when you are operating on such a high level, you sort of. You know, you chase that dragon. You're like, I had perfection in my mouth, pause, and I desperately want that again. And I know that it'll only happen a few more times, but that's the fun of it. The problem is when you get excellence in your mouth, that usually means other parts of the experience are actually lacking.

And as a person who's more concerned with the rest of the experience, like if I'm getting your three Michelin star tweezer food, that means the music's going to suck, the server's going to be too serious, my seat's going to be uncomfortable. It's not going to be... Typically, that is correct. Yeah, I can't argue with that. I can't fault that. But also, you know, the perfection in your mouth could be as simple as a slice of... racist pizza from print street or you know any any any situation could happen like that it doesn't have to be a noma eating reindeer balls i've told you that i'm a proud i'm a proud member of never eating at print street hive that's how racist you are it's somehow reverses no i i just i'm like you guys are waiting in line for a pepperoni pizza i don't eat pepperoni there's nothing for me here and yeah i guess okay it comes down to the pet pet i'm not gonna i'm not gonna elbow out fucking big steppers tour merch guys to get to the fucking to get to the cheese pizza in manhattan like that's fucking crazy like that's just crazy he's got the goldman sachs big steppers windbreaker Quarter zip fleece. That's literally who it is. We had a maid at the office. It's so bad at Prince Street that it's the Kendrick merch guys now. It's gone from Astroworld all the way down to Kendrick merch, and they're holding on by a threat. Scars is shaking in their wands. Scars is like, no, we're good over here. Anybody with dunks gets a free slice. It's all good. No, no, this is actually something that I was thinking about. recently about what sort of makes a good meal uh-huh or and and i think there's like a new you know people talk about a flight like uh flavors and there's like okay there's only so many flavors and then now are you wait are you talking you're talking about food you're not talking about my jordan collection for now it does technically apply to both okay but we'll see whether or not it continues to to work out as an entendre

They're like a few years, maybe 10 or 15 years ago. I'm sure even you know about this. They're like, there's actually a new flavor. It's called umami. Yeah. So there's like, there's sweet, there's sour, there's salty, there's spicy, you know, all those kind of basic general things. And umami was sort of that you can't really put your finger on it. You can't describe it. In words, it's like an intangible, intangible, just like, mm, kind of thing that you feel. It just makes you go, mm. It's so satisfying and satiating and unctuous, and it, like, hits you on some animal level, some DNA shit that our forefathers were doing as we were ripping apart elks with our teeth or whatever. But I was thinking, like, okay. It's sort of like when scientists discover a new planet or something that was a new one. I'm like, maybe there is a new flavor or tons of new other flavors or sensations like that that could uncover. And one of them is like when the chef or whoever is making the food for the person sort of figures out or understands through communication or through communication or. just visual cues, body language, moods or whatever to know what that person wants to eat or know what they're in the mood for. Because so many times you could go to a restaurant and have the greatest slice of pepperoni pizza. in the entire world, but you were craving sugarfish, so it's not really going to hit. You know what I mean? Thank you for putting this in language I can understand. When I want the box sushi, the Pep ain't going to do it for me. Pep's not going to do it for you. You want your PJ sugarfish like John Mayer and just like everyone else. I get it. But I think the only way to unlock that next level is to sort of, I don't know if you have to do some type of medium work. or just knowing somebody very well and their moods and what they like. So you're saying the chef's got to get in the head of every diner in the room? Yes. And instead of making, like, here's what we make, I make fucking smash burgers and french fries or whatever.

If that's the only thing you make and you're able to channel somebody's true desires and to know that they really, even if they don't know that they wanted grilled onions instead of raw onions or whatever, any of these little tweaks. They have to be ahead. They have to predict what the consumer wants to eat. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's what they're in the mood for, what they're craving. They don't even know that they're craving this thing, but just scientifically speaking, they're craving it somehow. And it's your job to figure that out. And once you're able to sort of please them in that certain way, then you have a customer for a life, I guess. An example that maybe could help you understand it or listeners is like when you and Bay are laid up in the hotel and you're popping up Netflix on the TV, like nobody wants to pick. what they want to watch. You just want it to appear on TV and you don't want to have to think about it, you know, the decision fatigue. And when I know exactly what Bay wants to watch on TV and you just put it on and like all is well in the world, it's sort of that feeling that I'm trying to chase with the food. You know what I mean? I think that, no, that is a nice example. A few issues. This is just day one. The giraffe is learning to walk, so yeah, I'm welcoming all criticism. No, no, I wouldn't say it's criticism. I would more say it's thought starters for you to kind of explore more. Okay, that I love. I'm back. I have my whiteboard out here, and I was taking some notes while you were talking, and my major problem is I don't know if this is possible for a room full of people. If a restaurant's doing big covers and they're trying to make money, there's no way the chef can be kind of fellating himself in the back coming up with these harebrained schemes to please each and every customer's deep guttural desires. I think this is a thing that will have to happen in a very controlled environment. For starters, it's like a one-on-one thing. You know what I mean? It's just like you and Alex in the kitchen.

You've got your basket full of flamingo estates ready to go. And you just kind of look at her. It's a Maria Abramovich style. You just stare each other down. And then when Alex kind of starts crying visually, and then you go, peanut butter and jelly yeah okay i understand i i make my own i take the flamingo estate grapes and just start busting them down they're a little old but they're gonna do for a jam purpose um okay it's an imperfect food over there at flamingo sure but yeah once you break it down into a jam nobody can tell i i i understand okay i understand what you mean and i think this kind of bespoke service is is where we're headed um in in our society because we all want to feel like vips especially if you have money and you could pay you know this is this is so next time i come over i i want to try this with you let's do it just kind of check check out my vibes and then an hour later i'm kind of munching on tj specialties yeah that's a munch right there you you nothing but a munch um no no that's true and as as as the metaverse approaches us I think the metaverse already approached us and then kind of went another way and decided to approach somebody else. Not to use another cosmic reference, but it was a scare and the meteorite zoomed past Earth, burning up upon impact, doing no damage whatsoever. But sort of as AI, artificial intelligence, machine learning, metaverse, all that stuff is going on and the world is getting... more and more precise and better, but also less human and less kind of real and authentic. Us humans have to sort of create these, I guess, what's the opposite of artificial intelligence? Just official intelligence. Just actual human intelligence to see if we can beat these machines. We have to destroy these machines. Are you saying we should destroy the machines? Well, at the very least, I know what song that's going to play at the end of this episode. But for now, yeah, eco-terrorism. It's sort of like, hey, I'm going to go to Elon Musk's office with two coconuts and a crescent wrench.

And I go into those computer servers and I start ripping all the wires out like a rabid monkey, smashing it all. I consider myself to be an eco-terrorist because I'm drinking water out of a plastic bottle. Different kind of eco-terrorist. Okay, okay. I'm talking about going to the fur factory and burning it down. Of course, you have to let all the fur out. first because yeah yeah no it wouldn't make a lot of sense counterproductive if you burn the fur you over there you're burning the fur factory you're like smelling kind of good though low-key low-key damn we have a little barbecue if you guys want to come through you know i mean just make sure you wear a face covering carnivore shit you know i'm saying make sure you wear a balaclava so they can't see your eyes you know what i mean but uh you know that's uh this is a good this is a good theory i wanted to um i because i'm in canada um Our friends over at YouTube have blocked the Dave Chappelle SNL. But luckily for me, last night, as I was in bed here at the brand new Ace Hotel in Toronto, I was going to sleep and flipping channels. You know what I mean? And all of a sudden, I see the screen is covered in dust. And I'm like, shit, do I need to go get some Windex and clean this off? But then I realized it was Blackstar performing on SNL. And it was awful. Like, I'm literally, I know this isn't my thing to begin with, but it is awful. Like, it felt like Amateur Hour. Like, it was truly felt like Amateur Hour. Was it a new song or was it from their classic album? I mean, I probably wouldn't know the classic album because I have good taste. Oh, I know. That was just a joke. But I believe that it was a new song because a classic one I would probably at least recognize. And this was truly gobbledygook. Like, just Garbaggio. And they looked weird. They were dressed bad. It was just the whole thing is bad. But I didn't get to catch Dave's monologue where he, I'm sure, offended everyone again. And, you know, the writers of SNL are protesting, which is pretty funny. Right. Because, like, bro, I mean, I'm sure some of them wanted to protest when Jack Harlow was going to host, but they had to hold their tongue, you know?

I bet they want to protest every fucking time when Lizzo comes on. I'm sure somebody's like, God damn, I don't want to write to this bitch, but that's the job. Or worse, when Jack Antonoff is the musical guest. Yeah. How cool would it be if somebody on SNL said that they're not going to work this week because Jack Antonoff is offensive to their ears? Yeah, it's like musical guest bleachers, and then the band that play G.E. Smith or whatever is in there, and everyone is just... Sitting there quietly stone-faced. Yeah, there's no lead guitar player because he was like, I'm not crossing the picket line for this. I'm not doing it. I did watch the monologue. It was probably, I mean, whenever Chappelle does SNL, the monologue, they always give him like 15 to really just do like a full stand-up set. And he usually nails it, in my opinion. He kind of... Does the jokes that everyone else is a little afraid to do and ruffle a couple feathers, smoke a cigarette, spit some real shit. But, you know, he mostly talked about Kanye. And, you know, a lot of his criticisms and commentary were pretty spot on and funny, actually. Yeah, but it's also boring. Like, talking about Kanye isn't funny anymore or interesting. That's the problem. Well, it's not because you're just listening to like regular people from Twitter, you know, trying to dunk on Kanye West and not, you know, whether or not you like Dave Chappelle, he's arguably the greatest standup comedian alive right now and has been doing it. Oh, bro, don't say that, bro. It is what it is. You don't even know Carlin's early shit, bro. You can't say that. Carlin's dead. Carlin's dead. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I don't give a shit about comedy. It's just a numbers game. He's been doing stand-up since he was 14 when we were born. Yeah, but it doesn't matter. That's like me saying I don't care about basketball, but when I hear Charles Barkley talk about it, all of a sudden I care. That's just not how it works. Well, I don't know if anyone thinks Charles Barkley is the best talker on any subject. Charles Barkley...

I would say Charles Barkley is actually more funny than Dave Chappelle for my money. If I had to say it. They're both very independently funny in their own ways. I think Chuck has more bars and he doesn't ruffle as many feathers. Therefore, he's more digestible for the NBA on TNT audience. Look, I didn't get into stand-up to be digestible, Chris. That's the difference between you and me. You know what I'm saying? But I just don't think like... More commentary on Kanye is truly, I would say, the safest thing he could do, to be honest. Talking about Jewish people and Illuminati and conspiracy theories is, you know, that's pretty not safe nowadays, I would say. No, but what I'm saying to you is unless you come out as Dave Chappelle and you're like, you know what, Kanye is crazy, but I kind of fuck with it. That's the only way it can be controversial. Because basically from what I read is that he basically condemned him for doing it like everyone else has because it's bad. So what's the interesting thing there? The way he got there? No, you have to read in between the lines and every time that he'll say a thing condemning his actions, it'll be attached to a joke that may have three or four dimensions of... you know inside jokiness or a little tongue-in-cheek winky thing yeah but is it possible that people give him too much credit because they want it to be good so bad because he did a tv show 20 years ago they love so much because that's what it feels like i think there is a little possibility of that but i think more so the the the possible or more so the point of it or the reason why people are so drawn to him whether even though they hate him is because nobody else is saying those things as eloquently as he is on that scale. Sure. There are people who are more, you know, they're talking about crazier shit, probably in a funnier way, but you've never heard of them and I've never heard of them and they have, you know, 4,000 followers on Instagram and live in Baltimore or whatever. Chappelle, you know, it's the same thing as Joe Rogan. He's not the best, but he's the biggest and the closest thing to what we've got.

Someone who's at least saying something possibly truthful. I just don't care. Like, I just don't think he's, I just don't think that, like, I don't know. I think it's all very unimportant. And because he's offended so many people with his previous work on the Netflix streaming network, that now these things are hotly... anticipated because people want to be mad at him because they they think he's going to say something offensive that is true so it sounds like to me he didn't actually say anything offensive he didn't really say much and maybe it was kind of funny so that to me is an l well i i think that the only way he's really going to get into hot water is if he starts making jokes about trans people which is sort of his hot button you know the don't push this red button kind of thing and he just can't help himself And he didn't mention that at all, and he just stuck to Jewish stuff. My question to you is then, is he a pussy? No. I think if you listen to it and watch the monologue, you're obviously not going to love it and say, oh, my God, this is a work of genius. But I think you'll understand more the little subtleties and things like that. Yeah. No, I'm sure that. I mean, I don't think he's not talented. I guess I'm just kind of like, at a certain point, it's like people that love him want to say... that he's doing amazing work because he's kind of saying what he wants and we're tired of being told we can't say what we feel and comedy is supposed to be this. And then the other half are like dying for him to say something offensive so they can shit on him on Twitter or complain to their boss if they work at NBC or Netflix or whatever. So it's just, to me, there's the middle ground, which is probably someone like you, doesn't really exist. That's the thing. There's not many people who are just like, I'll either like this or I won't. I don't really care about any of the other factors, and I think that's why it's hard to care about it. Yeah, so I guess I would be a moderate in terms of Chappelle liking. To use a political term, it's the same thing. It's just like unless you're doing one extreme in either direction, nobody gives a fuck. But I totally think that it's possible to enjoy someone's talents as a comedian.

and not agree with everything they're saying, and, like, that joke was good, that joke was bad. A lot of people don't have the ability to do that nowadays, and that's a thing that's a big problem with Gen Z. You were talking about, speaking of internet haters, the rise of the tomato emoji. So I heard about this the other night from someone, and then Becca, girl puppy, Texting me like, are you going to be in New York? Because she's playing a show in New York. And I said, no. And she said, boo, three tomato emojis. I just heard about this trend only a mere 48 hours before. And then a member of the Gen Z community used it on me within 48 hours. So I feel like it is something that is happening and bubbling in the underground. Young people, it's a young people trending alert. If I don't like something, you're getting the motherfucking tomatoes. And are the tomatoes alone? Or is there another emoji right behind it, maybe like the wind gust to sort of simulate a tomato being thrown? No, that's a good idea. I just think it's funny because I believe that the tomato throwing, that old adage, is old. You know, it's like, I don't even know where... That old adage is old. I don't know where these young people are from. I mean, R.I.P. Gallagher, first and foremost. And I know that's a different fruit and vegetable. But I'm just like... Yeah, it could be... I'm predicting it's the rise of Romeo and Juliet starring Leo. Okay. Maybe something like that. Maybe there's some tomatoes going on in there. A lot of people watch that movie because it's aesthetic AF. It is aesthetic AF. That's it. And the soundtrack is low-key bomb. The soundtrack is low-key beasting. The only reason I like a movie is if it's kind of aesthetic AF, like Tumblr stuff. So I guess I've never seen that, of course, so I guess I should check it out. You've never seen Romeo and Juliet? No, bro. I'm telling you, dude, watching movies... It's a tough watch. Watching movies, I ain't got time for that. Like, I just, I think it's... Oh, we know. It's crazy, but even as a child, I knew that it was a waste of time when I had nothing else to do.

I knew it was a waste of time. That's how far ahead I was, Jason, of the Grussell mindset. The world of cinema is nothing but a roadblock. I mean, dude. And you guys put M&Ms in popcorn? That's crazy. Every time you watch a movie, that's a deal that's not getting made. Dude, 100%. And I should talk to Gary Vee or some of these other guys about this because I bet they don't watch movies either. They're like, movies? I haven't had time to watch a movie since 1983. I saw Wall Street in high school, and that was it. I think there is. If you're watching Tar, it's two and a half hours long, and you miss a call from your lawyer, and all of a sudden you're down 50 bands, was it worth it? To see Cate Blanchett in the row, I could look at pictures on the internet. Tar was lit, dude. I finally saw it last week. It was good. You told me that you tried to leave three times. I didn't. The person that I was with did. Oh, okay. So you liked a two and a half hour movie about a lesbian bitch conductor who looks cool, which on paper does sound very good, I have to say. It's just a slow, long one. But maybe very similar to my theory on a new flavor dimension. It's the same thing of like, you know, obviously certain films like that, you truly have to be craving it or in the mood for it. And if you are not, then it is going to be a fucking tough one to watch Ty. Were you high as hell? No, I was not. It was kind of an early screening because if we went to the 9 o'clock Ty, I'm getting home after midnight on a school night, even if I am juice. I was doing a juice cleanse as well. Oh, wow. So you saw Ty with no snacks? Well, I had two snacks. It was number five and number six, press juice. That's always confusing to me. Oh, not pressed. Bro, pressed juice is fake. I can't believe you're drinking that. That's like fucking concentrate. That's just sugar. Yeah, exactly. But they have one right by my house at the Americana, and a juice cleanse is like $30 or something like that. So you just order it online and go pick it up. It takes five seconds, and that's it. But, I mean, like, one of the juices is just pure celery. The other ones are, like, very vegetable-based. But they are...

probably a little too sugary but it's okay fuck it bro i mean but but yeah i i think it was the the film is a master class of of dialogue and monologue i think there's like two scenes where where blanchette is just fucking oscar worthy shit just i mean blanchette's the blanchette is a known real one and i i recently saw a photo of young blanchette damn oh young blanchette bad as hell bro Mamma mia. I know. I mean, look, that's the problem with aging. Beat the tar off of that. That's what I said, all right? Okay, okay. Oh, my God. Relax, TJ. That's not your flavor. That is not your flavor. You got to leave some for the rest of us. You don't know what mood I'm in, Chris. You don't know about all the flavors I have. About all the umami you got. I even do white sometime, baby. Let me cook. So what are you doing today? It's a classic Sunday in LA. TJ can't sit still. I know you're going to be driving all over the place. You're going to go to some freaky restaurant that's 45 minutes from your house to have eggs. You guys driving to the San Gabriel Valley to have fucking eggs and avocado is one of the wildest things that I will not understand. Well, that's how dire it is. I have to drive 30 minutes to... literally the San Gabriel Valley, to eat eggs. Because anywhere else, I can't, where else am I going to do it? Either, there's two situations. You go to a restaurant that's chill and easy and you can go there and you don't have to make a reservation for breakfast two weeks in advance. The food's going to be a letdown. It's not going to be anywhere near as good as if I made it at home, so there's no point. Or those other restaurants that are just truly bomb as hell. It's just like, okay, cool. Just put your name down and you can eat breakfast in 11 hours. Or like, oh, you wanted to eat today. That's so funny. Bro, I took myself to a little breakfast yesterday over at the Hazleton Hotel here in beautiful Yorkville. And the restaurant there is called One. It's called One. And it's known as kind of like a high-end hotel.

overpriced restaurant where it's known to have a lot of working women at the bar. But obviously, Saturday brunch, it wasn't the case. But I had my, I believe it was $36 Canadian, two eggs scrambled, some fruit, some Arvo. Prostitutes are cheap down there. Oh, the breakfast. Got it, got it, got it. They included orange juice as well and a bottle of sparkling water, which I thought was quite nice. That's great. I was taking stock of the crowd, you know, and of course it's like corny Toronto rich people, but there was a certain archetype that really, there were tables of fellas, four to eight deep per table where all the fellas were kind of like, I'm flexing my hungover swag and they all had on, I'm not exaggerating, like five guys at one table all had on different. five to five hundred to one thousand dollar hoodies and like so one guy would have the chrome hearts with the bro it's cozy vibes only one guy would have the chrome hearts with the hood up while he was drinking his mimosa his homies were in the givenchy while he has the salmon on the bagel his other boy has the has the ruigi joint you know what i mean while he's like asking for his eggs to be cooked a little longer it was just a crazy this is actually more medium than medium rare if you could just tell the kitchen i don't i hate to be that guy but yeah thanks Like every single one of these hoodie guys is so rich. They had their like Lambo truck valet, you know, and I'm just like, what, how do these guys all find each other? And do they know that they look stupid? Or is it like, we all look hot together when we wear our expensive hoodies? Okay, well, I'll tell you where they found each other, rehab, and then... No, they found each other at the club, though. There's definitely a hashtag promoter vibe, and no offense to you, of course. They're like, okay, since you guys are all the guys who actually pay for bottle service, you can all just kind of hang out here at this six-top. Yeah, I think that that's sort of the problem with...

the future of the world is a group of men will all get on their group chat and text each other and say, let's all go to breakfast this morning because we're all hung over from not paying for sex last night at all. Definitely didn't do that. And this is where it separates the wheat from the chaff. Some person said, Wouldn't it be cool if we all wore hoodies? Just keep it hoodie vibes only. And everyone was like, yeah, LOL, that's dope, let's do it. And now you have male synchronized outfits for brunch, and it's making Martha Stewart and Ina Garten look like fucking... whoever the most badass person in the world is no it's it's it's a crazy style and i i just like i don't know the amount of hoodies in the building and it's like i who doesn't like a hoodie i guess you know but it made me i'm wearing one right now it kind of made me i'm not i'm more of a crew neck cat if i had to choose so am i but i i just think that hoodie culture has gone too far it's gone too far we've got we've got these men out here paying 800 for hoodies we that That's just too far. And I know it's their fault for being stupid and susceptible to this sort of Balenciaga marketing, but at the same time, like, you know, guys, come on. Like, you know what I mean? Like, I don't know. It's just like, if you and I showed up wearing the same thing, we'd kind of be like bummed, you know? It's like when two actresses show up at the Academy Awards and the designer didn't tell them and they're wearing the same dress because one bought it, one got dressed, you know, it's tough. I know that bitch from Abbott Elementary ain't wearing this drip. then a fight starts yeah the only time males who are dining together should be communicating with each other in terms of outfit synchronization is to make sure that you and your friends are not wearing the same thing you want to make sure that we're not all going to wear

or blue suede shoes or whatever it may be. No, exactly. Unless you work for Tom Brown and you're at lunch, the only reason you should be matching your friends is if you've just left the soccer field or something of that nature. Yeah, and we love the clothing of Rick Owens, but if you go to a restaurant and you see a table of six people just head to toe, Rick to the dick. You begin to judge and stereotype them as a certain type of person, you know what I mean? It's tough. It really is tough. Like, your parents are rich. 100%. Much like the people that pay for bottle service, those are the kind of people that are happy to pay a $30 cover for a BIA DJ set at Nice Guy. Yes, yes, yes. You know, and that's not to be overlooked. As long as they take Apple Pay, bro. Yo, can I tap at the door, bro? It was big walking around, strolling around York for yesterday, checking out some of the local shops, you know, just seeing what's going on. Lululemon, stuff like that. I'll tell you what, bro. There's a new aloe store here. Oh, my God. That shit was booming. That looked like, I mean, God damn. Really? Yeah, dude, just booming. And the thing is, is that I forget this, but aloe makes like clothes. I mean, you see people wearing it. They make like clothes, you know, like a... A Sherpa fleece and like a jacket and this and that. So the windows are like a, the mannequins in the windows are like a combination of obviously like the tights and the sports bras, but then also the real. You tell me they got their little lifestyle flavor? They do have lifestyle flavor, much like our Vancouver-based friends at Lululemon. And I was just watching, it was booming, but the fucked up part about aloe is like the sales chicks look like. They're about to walk into Barry's and hit the treadmill. Like one shoulder sports bra and tights with like the Air Max 270s at work is amazing. That's crazy that you wear that to work. I'm here for it. I know you are. I know you are. And you're not? I mean, it feels a little, it feels like it could maybe hurt business because if non-hotties walk in.

and the hotties working there got their fucking abs out on their ass on fleeky, it could discourage someone from buying the same thing, because they're like, why aren't you going to look like Chloe? It's almost as if they did that on purpose, like our friends over at Abercrombie & Fitch. It's almost as if you want to exclude a certain body type of person, like a Brandy Melville or something, for example. It does feel like that, and I want to say I'm against it. Um, and from a capitalism, I want to so bad, but I am, I am definitely not. Well, I just think that if it's one man's vision or one woman's vision or one person's vision and they're running that company, then they should be able to kind of do whatever they want. And if there is some backlash, that's fine. But like, you know, like you can't help, you can't help who the customer is and what they want necessarily. It's the cost of doing business in this business. That shit was booming. like popping popping and it's like pretty cold outside i mean i have an aloe yoga mat i use it all the time at the crib it's a wonderful piece the aloe yoga mat is the best yoga mat in the game it's it's 125 i bought it because you told me that it's 125 but it has a heft to it that some of the mats don't have it feels masculine in the murdered out color way um you know as as i dive deeper into my sensual workouts and slow body movement exercises of obviously the algorithm, sort of the next stop on the train is sort of getting into Cairo territory, which is kind of your zone. But I started getting, I could tell that the algorithm was so intelligent that they knew that they were going to sort of have to just kind of. stick the tip in and just kind of let me feel it out first. You know what I mean? Sure. They just don't want to beat me over the head with these crack addict videos that you're consuming. So it started feeding me a genre of chiropractor videos that could be very polarizing for you specifically, the animal chiropractory. Oh, no, no. I've unfortunately...

seen some of that before and although i do love to see chiropractic relief work on any species that god created i would rather see it on giant male bodybuilders than somebody's little dog with their where they cry in the corner because their their dogs you know c4 is back in alignment or whatever okay uh andrews i know you're listening just want to make sure you heard that okay cool uh so more into sort of the muscle daddy kind of well it's it's not cracking is what is the i want to see what is the phrase crack addicts muscle daddy it's like when i go to aloe i'm fine because i'm seeing people that look like me you know and it's the same thing when i'm looking at carper i want to see giant ripped guys with their shirts off getting some fascial work done before they get popped and you want if you're if we're going to be cracking backs and necks It would be nice for that person to kind of be swole as hell, is what you're saying. Yeah, because it just looks like they need it. Yeah, because they've sort of been working so hard all day at the gym, probably getting very sweaty. Exactly. And they're kind of, they're big arms. Exactly. You need them to be loose and strong so they can kind of dominate you, right? Yeah, exactly, honestly. I don't want to see some... I don't want to see some little computer nerd be like, I have carpal tunnel. Please help me. I don't want to see that. I don't want to see that. I want to see a guy that's like, my body feels fucked up because I was putting up insane numbers on the squat rack, and I need you to lay your hands all over me until I feel better. That's what I want to see. No condom, the whole thing. Exactly. If that's a crime, I'll go to jail. It's fine. I don't give a shit. How long gone is our website? Chris Black, you're going to be back in L.A. when? A couple days? What's up? Hey, no, I touched down tomorrow. Monday, baby. I'm back in the A. I mean, excuse me, L.A. I'm sorry. Back in L.A. Okay, so, and then on Tuesday night, we have a lads dinner with Uncle Pauly and them over at a Thai restaurant in the Valley. You ready for that, Chris? Yeah, we're going to, yeah. Me, you, Al, Kenny Beats, and Uncle Pauly, and I don't know who, Dylan, a few other people, but...

Al was like, bro, you know we've got to sit in an alleyway at this restaurant. And I was like, you're telling me this Michelin star Thai restaurant that has an incredible wine selection is making me sit in a fucking alleyway? And he said, yes, that's right. So, you know, I've been here before and I do quite like it, so hopefully it hits even with my fucking nupsy on. Yeah, hopefully we also have the plug because the last time I went and ate dinner in the alley, even though a friend of the show, Royce Burke, gave us a little... line cutting pluggy we still had to wait in line for two hours dead ass no we're not we're not waiting in line i'll i'll go to shakies before i wait in line in in studio city i'm all set but yeah we're doing that and then it's a it's a full week of activations for us jason wednesday thursday and friday i believe are activations gq's man of the year is nipping at our heels don't worry i have all my looks arrived That's good. I just need my pink Brooks Brothers shirt to arrive, and then I'm really going to be good. Okay. I'm waiting on my looks to arrive for GQ Man of the Year, and I'm waiting with bated breath. I texted Will Welch. He didn't get back to me to let us know if we actually are the men of the year. I don't think it's us, but I just assume we're in the running at least. We are men, and it is a year, so you're saying there's a chance, Will. Yes, exactly. Yeah, exactly, Will. You're saying there's a chance. Yeah, we'll do that. And then, yeah, Seattle, there's a few tickets left. And we are happy to add a guest, a local hero. Yeah. And a former guest of How Long Gone, Andy Haynes, is going to join us in Seattle for a little comedic relief. December 15th at Madam Lou's. Get your tickets. We're happy to be there. It's the final How Long Gone show of the year. And then we're going to be announcing some stuff soon that takes us. Across the bloody pond, mate. Which is very exciting. But yeah, anyway, we'll be back with more podcasts, more event recaps, more of Jason's harebrained food schemes all next week. Thank you for listening to How Long Gone. Thank you to all my Toronto family for holding me down. Thank you to Drake. Thank you to the OVO team. Thank you to The Weeknd. I could go on. I won't. Thank you to all the veterans.

They get all the veterans on Veterans Day. Except when they let you board first. That kind of bothers me. But otherwise, thanks to you for that. Yeah, thanks to you for that. Yeah, veterans, you should get your little pension. You should get your college paid for. If you lose a leg, they should buy your chick a new fucking Range Rover. But you ain't getting on that plane before me. No, no. Fuck out of here. If I'm Delta One, I don't care how much you've served. You know what I mean? You ain't board before me. And you better not drone me. either talking all this mess. Better not come drone me. How long gone? We'll see you next week.